What's the point in getting married if you know you're not going to leave each other?


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What Guys Said 48

  • Ok, but then if two people are going to eventually leave each other then why get married in first place? why make a relationship and then break a relationship? Logically that's not making any sense.

    The way you have put the question, it seems like you are trying to say that the person has already planned to leave the other even before getting married, in that case, you are right there is no point in getting married and leaving that person to become single again.

    Yes, I can understand if you are talking about divorce, nothing wrong in taking a divorce but then that should be the last option after all the attempt to stay together has totally failed.

    If people fall in love and get married ( love marriage), even if it's not love marriage, if people marry then their attitude and efforts should be to stay together forever, now if that doesn't happen that's a different but they should try their best not to leave each other.

    Now, there can be lot of reasons as to why a person get's married but they don't leave and that usually is for their selfish reasons, wealth inheritance or something like that. Now if one person who is getting married is not so rich and either the groom/ bride is rich then automatically the other person can enjoy the benefits of getting married to a rich person, right?

    However that's a selfish reason for getting married, so this is just one reason there can be a few more reasons.

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  • If you want to know a good answer, ask same-sex couples because if what you asked was true, then same-sex couples never would have fought to be married.

    The answer lies in the fact that there are many many legal protections safeguards and privileges to being married that unmarried people do not have.

    If you really want to learn, Google "United States vs Windsor".

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  • Tradition and alignment with your faith. If either of those things are important to you then so is marriage. If they're not then I agree with you, there's no need to get married. Some people like to make an official declaration of their love and their commitment of course. It just depends on what works for the couple.

    I'm married to my couch. We are very happy together today. The way it spoons me is quite adorable.

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  • Marriage provides a legal basis for the proving the legal custody of children.

    If you have children and aren't married, you may find it very inconvenient and difficult to assert your parental rights. Hospitals may not admit you to see your own sick or injured children if you're not married. Even if you're divorced, it still counts for custody. But if you're not and never have been married, they see you as some creepy weirdo trying to sneak into a little kid's room under questionable pretenses.

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    • 6d

      Umm, at the hospital, they ask who the father is. If the father and mother agree who the father is at the hospital, that's the end of that unless someone files a filiation proceeding. No need to be married

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    • 5d

      Nobody knew which vagina or placenta the baby came out of during birth?

    • 5d

      @pnl86 You keep twisting my words and putting words in my mouth so much that I'm beginning to think you're doing it on purpose.

  • If you're in the United States marriage has many legal advantages. Besides the tax advantages, there's always the issue of if one of you gets sick, unless you're married the family can refuse you admittance to the SO's hospital bed and can refuse to allow you to have any say over whether they get care or not.

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    • 5d

      It's called a domestic partnership. You can visit me in the hospital, but if we ever find out that things just aren't working out and we want to go our separate ways, all of our stuff comes with us, and we each continue to enjoy our respective incomes. Problem solved.

    • 5d

      @pnl86
      Does the IRS recognize it?

    • 5d

      The IRS recognizes two unmarried people being able to each claim a single standard deduction (totaling to the married filing jointly standard deduction), or better yet, if there is just one child in the picture, one person claiming head of household status and the other claiming single status, resulting in even a higher total standard deduction between the two, and more in tax savings.

      To the extent the question had to deal with the right to have hospital visitation and healthcare directive privileges, the IRS has no authority or power over questions of state law. That's a state law question. For as long as the state allows for domestic partnerships, two people don't need to be married to visit each other in the hospital.

      Want additional security? Execute a healthcare proxy, living will and limited durable power of attorney to the person you would like to allow hospital visitation for and he right to make healthcare decisions on your behalf. The firms are free online.

  • if your Christian it matters a lot. but also, it's like a commitment you make to your partner saying no matter what happens, I still love you. also, a married couple is proven to be the best way for a child to be raised

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  • That's the thing, you DON'T know. You THINK you do, but you don't. Having said that, the reason to get married varies from person to person. There is no benefit to a man to get married but to each their own.

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  • If you think , it is so , then tell Obama to abolish the Law of Marriage. Marriage has legal provisions that need to be fulfilled. The state and the church/religious bodies , know the importance of marriage. That's why the institution of marriage is so important.

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  • it's more legitimate and professional. There's probably some legal reasons too, but I don't really know them

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  • Things change, people change. Marriage is just a "seal" to me. Its about legal right s to me and nothing more. Medical insurance is also a plus. Finally, in my country, if you have a kid outside of marriage, the father (even is both parents agree he is the father) cannot claim the kid unless he takes a long series of legal and medical tests etc.

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  • I don't see the point in marriage. If you both love each other and want to spend your whole life together then how does marriage make things better? I think more and more people today are more likely not to get married.. Nowadays relationships don't really last that long by what I've seen.

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  • Marriage has social standing. It also has legal ramifications dealing with property, probate, taxes. Good for the child because it legally creates stability. Banking reasons. Lots of reasons

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  • How would you know you won't be leaving each other? 50% marriages end in divorce and supposedly these people thought they'll be together for the long haul.

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  • It's a symbol that they want to spend the rest of their lives together no matter what

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  • People marry out of love and they dont want to divorce thats the truth of it. But sometimes people are influenced by divorce laywers playing the emotions of people in a bad situation in marriage to get people to divorce. Divorce lawyers coach their "victims" to divorce their partner. The divorce industry is big business for lawyers.

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  • Good question. If you figure it out, please post the answer here.

    In the meantime, I'll just say "so that the law considers you a couple".

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  • They want tax benefits and all other types of benefits they can get from the government. This is why people who want to get married are more privileged than people who never want to get married. People think aromantic asexuals are not oppressed. Yes we are. Yeah, I'm aromantic/asexual and I don't want to get married so this marriage benefits thing does prove that I am less privileged than the rest of the population. I am oppressed in ways that most of you aren't...

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    • 6d

      They also want to show off their wedding to all the people they know. They want to their religious organization that they are together and they want their relationship to be validated by the religious community. Marriage plays a big role in society.

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    • 6d

      You're not oppressed. Marry another aromantic/asexual.

    • 5d

      this explains why the only class of people where marriage rates haven't dropped in the recent decades are the upper class with high education, they want the tax benefits and all economic advantages they can get for themselves and their kids.

  • There's no point to marriage. All those legal and social excuses are complete BS but I'm tired of repeating myself.

    As to your specific point. Nothing says commitment but staying with someone by volition so yeah, I agree.

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  • I do not know either. Never understood why getting married in the first place. =/

    Marriage is overrated, pointless and means nothing. It does not mean to be together until the end of life - divorces can still happen.

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  • If you feel like it doesn't add anything then you don't have to get married, I would be fine with that.

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  • That's exactly the same question I ask. Unless you're religious, there's no point.

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  • financial and juristical advantages mostly xD

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  • You don't know, that's the thing o-O

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  • I personally don't get the concept of marriage at all. On some level it might be tradition, but what else? Tradition alone Might be suffcient, but not to me.

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  • If you have to ask that then your not ready for the answer.

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  • long as your both really serious since your right its not exactly something to take lightly. then
    Dual citizenship , keeping relatives happy , possibly tax purposes.

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  • Taxes

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    • 6d

      hospital visitation rights as well.
      You automatically become next of kin

  • Yes i agree i would not get married unless i knew the Love was for real.

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  • it's a tradition.. also it's a kind of process letting everyone know that he is only your and you got your rights on him

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  • I don't know got me thinking now

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What Girls Said 25

  • The problem is that people have lost the sense of importance of RITUAL.
    "Ritual" probably brings to mind religious images, but, it's more than that, and it's an integral part of the human experience.

    Think about “initiation” ceremonies into secret societies (military societies, fraternities, etc.)
    And cultural rites of passage, and pledges of allegiance, and national anthems, and all those formal shows of patriotism.
    And… wedding ceremonies, and renewals of vows, and so on.

    Think about the kind of bond that’s created by these things.
    When rituals are performed REGULARLY... people will literally go to the ends of the earth for those to whom they’re bonded through these kinds of ceremonies.

    Marriage is one of these rituals -- and, believe me, NO ONE stands up there and says "I do" with the intent of forsaking their partner down the line.
    It's a beautiful thing. There's NOTHING like looking into yr beloved's eyes and declaring yr commitment, in front of the world. It's wonderful, and it's sexy, and it's fucking amazing in every way.

    THE PROBLEM is...
    Most people don't KEEP performing the ritual, REGULARLY, in any way.
    They have one ceremony, and expect it to last the rest of their lives.

    Well... it won't.

    The wedding vows should be like a pledge of allegiance. They should be something you both say to each other, in stolen moments, and in the heat of passion, and in the agony of tragedy.

    When it's the middle of a slow night, and you grab each other's hands for an impromptu dance in the hallway or in a parking lot... "I do."

    When you're making hard and fast and passionate love... "I do."

    When you've lost a friend or a parent, and you're there to comfort each other, and to be a shoulder for each other to cry on... "I do."

    When you look at that ring on yr finger, you should be *overwhelmed*. With everything that it stands for.
    Commitment.
    Love.
    Lust.
    Passion.
    Struggle.
    Sacrifice.
    Growth.
    Ecstasy.
    Purpose.
    Structure.
    Support.
    Challenge.
    Partnership.
    Strength.
    Vulnerability.
    Understanding.
    Building a whole life together.

    That ring on yr hand stands for ALL of those things, loud and clear.

    And, you should tell each other "I do" again EVERY DAY.
    Even when times are hard -- ESPECIALLY when times are hard -- you should "marry" each other all over again... and suddenly the hard times won't be AS hard.
    They'll still be hard, but, "I do" will help you through the worst.

    The ritual should NEVER end.

    And if it doesn't... then, neither will yr marriage.

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    • 6d

      Really. You can say "you KNOW you won't leave each other" now, because you're young, and carefree, and that's an easy (and so nice-sounding) thing to say.

      But NO.
      You DON'T know that.

      Hard times fuck things up. And they fuck PEOPLE up.
      And if you don't build walls against hard times BEFORE they happen -- they'll destroy you.

      "For better or for worse" is not a joke, and there's a reason why you swear it.

    • 6d

      Also, this whole idea ^^ (the idea of imbuing marriage with emotional significance and COMMITMENT) has even more importance NOW than ever before, because so much of the bare economic necessity behind marriage has been stripped away.

      It's not that people VALUED marriage any more in the past... ahahah hell no they didn't. (Just think about the way our grandparents' generation talked about it in private -- and about how much time each sex spent basically in full retreat from the other.)
      But, only recently has it even been POSSIBLE for people to break up marriages, without the danger of starving or going without basic domestic functions of life.

      So... now it's more important than ever before for people to focus on what will REALLY strengthen a marriage. Through both good times and bad.

  • For some people, going through with a wedding is important. There are still those out there who are religious and for them a marriage is part of their faith.

    For other people, they have their own personal reasons for wanting to get married.

    I know for myself I would like to get married someday. I get a lot of flack from people because of desiring marriage. But one of my reasons is kind of odd. Not there's been a few times where I have dated someone for a period of time and then they start acting single and telling me we were never together. I know marriage is no guarantee. But it just makes me have more peace of mind. And I feel a person who wants to marry you won't go through with it if that's not truly what they want.

    I'm not really sure if that makes any sense. But I also like the idea of being married. To have that special moment with your partner. I've had a lot of bad experiences in relationships. And this would be a more positive one. It would make me feel special and nave me feel closer to my partner.

    Plus there are tax benefits if being married, being able to put them on my health insurance and vice versa. Plus being married to my best friend :)

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  • Personally because I like the symbolic meaning of having a ring on my finger, making a vow in front of family and friends and just having a special day where we promise to love each other forever. Legally I also just like knowing he is my spouse. I also think it's better for my future family and to have kids who know their parents are married. I'm just not OK with being someone's girlfriend forever. It stays the ultimate way of showing commitment for me personally and I just like the meaning of it. My boyfriend feels the same about it and me.

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  • I think a lot of it comes back to religious sacrament. That's the primary reason I am getting married: because I find it most honorable before God.

    Secondly, there are tax benefits when two people are married. Combining finances is a major marriage advantage in general, but can get you some tax breaks in the end.

    And it's also nice to hear your partner say before witnesses and a priest "I'm not going to leave you unless death takes me". The verbal and physical contract is somewhat comforting, if nothing else. Divorce is hard and expensive, so it makes leaving harder... all the more reason to work things out than call it quits. I guess the legality of marriage strongly discourages you to take the path of least resistance.

    That's my reasoning.

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  • I find no real reason to get married. Yes, it shows a true commitment that the husband will never cheat. But we all have heard stories of men cheating on their wives and going through a messy divorce. Id rather not go through that. Also, I dont like feeling like a house slave. I find that in order to keep your husband happy, you have to do things to make him happy even when your not in the mood to. Its like being trapped. I dont want to feel like that. There is no guarantee that a man will be faithful to you forever.

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  • there is no point.
    unless its for financial reasons... but even then.. I don't know if thats a valid point.

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  • legally it's very smart. Healthcare, children, if he does cheat or leave you alimony. marriage is beautiful it's the stupid people who get married for 6 months and divorced who makes it ugly and not worth it. immature people who cheat.

    think about it like this if you guys are together for 20 years bills everything in your name or joint and he picks up and leave you with nothing but bills. you can't tell a judge he should help pay back loans or debts he's/she's not entitled to. think about it if marriage wasn't such a big deal why are the LGBT community fighting so hard for it.

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  • Some people do it because of religious reasons or just because its a tradition. Also, some do it because they want to be connected emotionally, spiritually, and legally. They want to be able to legally share things, become one, and share the last name. I think people maybe want that extra assurance of commitment. Also, they want to get married because they love each other and want to be together forever.

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  • Well, it's easier financially and you get huge tax and insurance breaks. Married men are also more likely to be promoted and tend to be paid more.

    But like you will die sooner than you otherwise would but that will happen anyway so.

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  • to some people its a dream.. or something they've always wanted... I don't know how else to put it clearer

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  • Tradition, symbolism, ritual.
    Marriage and what it represents is just something I place a lot of value on.

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  • I wanted to share a last name, and to completely intertwine our lives in the legal sense (next of kin, assets etc). Doing that in front of our family and friends felt like a much better idea than a change of name form

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  • Babies, tax breaks, health benefits,

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  • I personally don't believe in marriage. Nothing should changed between being in a committed relationship and being married.

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  • I don't get it.

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  • either:
    - financial stability
    - family/social pressure
    - the hope marriage will help you learn to love each other as its not something you can quickly or easily get out of

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  • Well there are religious, and or cultural/ traditional reasons
    Many people value marriage

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  • well u don't really have to get married it's a choice lol

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  • you don't know if it will work out or not, so lots of peeps marry in hopes that it will work out

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  • Financial benefits

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  • Marrage is for family and friends to help celibrate the once in a life time love you share it's for your kids to see that there family is a solid unit and lastly to protect eachhother from the worlds struggles

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  • I think it's to cement your promises to each other. It, also acts as a failsafe as your relationship will be protected by the low too.

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  • Taxes and hospital visitation rights. There's a number of reasons legally, marriage is a good thing.

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  • A marriage is supposed to be a symbol of a persons promise to you. To be with you " until death do us part" . ", through sickness & in health" It signifies their love for you and represents their commitment to you. Marriage doesn't mean it'll last though.

    Some people are sentimental and love the idea of a wedding. Considering divorce is
    " messy" and can be a prolonged process I guess in a way it does show comittment if they are willing put themselves in that position, coz there's no guarantees in any relationship or in a marriage.

    No one can guarantee they'll never leave you or love you forever. It's a risk we all take and getting married proves someone is worthy of that risk.

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  • If you know you're not going to leave each other there is no reason to not get married.

    There are legal benefits in getting married.

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