Is it bad that I am not ready for marriage?

I am 22 and my boyfriend is 23 almost 24. He talks about marriage a lot but I am just not ready for marriage. He gets upset when I tell him that I am not ready...how can I tell him in a sweet way that he will understand.

Updates:
he graduated from college at 19 so he has a full time job and wants to settle down. I am just starting college and we live together...i just want to wait

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is there a "sweet way" to say "I'm not ready."? I guess you say "I'm not ready" and he asks "Why not?". Can you make a list of reasons as to why you aren't ready and post them?

    I don't blame you for waiting. The older you get, the more glad you will be for waiting. How long have you two been dating?

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    • We have been dating for a year and half now...

    • A year and a half is a very short time to date before marraige. And even though this guy is already out of college, I'm sure he has a lot of maturing to do.

      I know people that have lived together for 7 years without marraige.

      If he gets upset that you want to wait, that should be a bad sign. If he asks why, I'd tell him you want to graduate college first, or wait a few years.

      Both of you are still young, and have a lot of living to do. My opinion is minimum mid-20's till marraige

What Guys Said 3

  • If he graduated college at 19 he's definitely one of these guys that wants to fast track every aspect of his life. Like he needs to accomplish by 30 what most do by 50. Nothing you can do about that. All you can do is tell him that you understand how he feels, explain that you aren't ready and why you aren't ready, but that in time you will be ready. It's probably not what you wanted, but anything more florid and "sweet" may detract from the context.

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  • There is no sweet way if to him "no" is always going to sound rotten.

    What you need to do is explain to him why you feel ill prepared and if he doesn't listen you ask him why he won't if he loves you.

    It's a tricky situation, especially since he seems to really want to.

    VMS

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  • If you intend to marry him tell him you want to be able to finish school before settling down. Express that this is something important to you and doesn't mean you love him any less.

    VMS

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What Girls Said 1

  • There's nothing weird about not wanting to be married at 22. If he loves you he'll respect the fact that you're not ready to get married and stop pressuring you. And if you're not ready that's nothing to get upset about, what's his hurry anyway?

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