How can women with hyphenated names or keeping their maiden name claim to respect their husband?

If they truly gave themselves to their husbands why are they reluctant to respect and honor him? Aren't women who behave this way more likely to cheat on their marriage? How can they claim to be committed to their marriage if they won't fully accept it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am in your age group and can tell you the #1 reason...the way we were raised. I was raised you go to school, go to college, start your career and then maybe get married and maybe have children...what society told us as little girls in the late '70's was not how our mothers raised us. I always said when I was a little girl that I wanted my husband to take my name...now if I ever married I would have to hyphenate because my daughter has my last name (maiden name) but I have had clients that were men change their last names for their wives. Point is the VOW is the most important part of marriage, a name change is not always a matter of respect to a woman. It could be her career she is known as a certain name and needs to keep ahold of that or she merely wants something for her own. Maybe she loves her father and respects him so much that she wants to keep that part of her dad (esp if he's no longer on this earth). You will only know the realy answer from your wife without arguing about it but truly asking why...only she can give you the answer. We are in a new century and although I do see why you would ask I also see why should she be the one changing her identity? It is her identity...she did grow up that name...so just ask her...

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    • When she marries, she no longer belongs to her father, she belongs to her husband, and it is him she should respect. Wife does not mean the same as lover or mistress. It means she is giving herself to the man who has chosen her. She should be fully committed, without reservations or conditions.

    • Like I said we are in a different century....true no one should marry and take a vow without being totally sure and committed but when a woman marries it is more than her belonging to someone. It is a UNION of two families, a woman is not a possession. Even if she is very traditional and fills the traditional wife role the bible says a wife respects the husband AND the husband respects the wife. When she has children she will also play the mother role, roles don't disappear when we marry!!!!!

What Girls Said 6

  • Everyone else is exactly right, I just wanted to observe that this question seems blatantly disrespectful just to get a response out of women.

    I'm sure all women who hyphenate their names have different reasons for it, you can't just assume it's because she doesn't respect her husband (and as for honoring him, I believe it should be more equal than that). I've considered hyphenating when I get married or just not changing my name at all, because I'm very proud of my last name and I don't want to lose it; that's MY reason. Everyone would have a different reason for choosing whether or not to change their name.

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    • Then you do not want to be a wife, you want to be a half-committed lover. Women here do not understand what wife means.

    • Marriage is a union, it's not a man owning a woman; names are irrelevant when committing yourselves to each other. You obviously have a skewed definition of a wife. How insecure must you be to doubt someone over a name change?

  • whoaaa. "belong to"? no one "belongs" to anyone. a husband does NOT "own" his wife. you get married so you can share that relationship/love and the rest of your life with that person. names are exactly that - names. it should not make such a big difference if women choose not to change their last name. that's not what the commitment to the husband means.

    i thought we were in a day and age where trivial things like this were not something to trip someone up? but that's just my opinion...

    if it really means that much to you, I think you should talk to your wife, if that's the reason you're asking...

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  • Love, acceptance, and respect within a marriage do not hinge on whether or not a woman decides to change her last name. The fact that a woman is willing to go before the church, her community, her family and friends and pledge that she holds you above all others---should be enough. If a man is willing to doubt her commitment based on the simple fact that she wants to keep her last name--maybe you shouldn't be marrying her.

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  • Umm.. because we are stupid and we don't want to become our husband's slave/servant. We want to be cheating lying whores. Hello, stupid ass. You do NOT own your wife. You LOVE her and RESPECT her. I suggest that you stop viewing your gender as superior if you ever want a family... or something on your d*** besides your hand.

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  • It doesn't matter if she kept her last name. It is the point that she married you. Regardless if it is hyphenated does not mean that she will go and cheat or anything of that sort. She is not being reluctant to honor or respect him, its just her choice.

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  • Well why can't you take her last name as a show of respect? You didn't take her last name, that must mean you didn't fully accept her and and give yourself to her.

    o.o

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What Guys Said 1

  • Dude, you were definitely born in the wrong century.

    Perhaps you should just buy a wife? Pay her to change her name? Then lock her in the house and never let her out? Enforce your will with a tazer or something?

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