Why are you all so scared of getting married? Why do you feel like we are rushing you?

Ive been dating my boyfriend for two years and the topic comes up all the time and every time he asks me why it has to happen now and can't wait.

I guess it just confuses me that it freaks you guys out if you love the girl your with.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because often it's the men that has a lot to lose if things don't work out... You can have everything you want in a relationship that you can have in marriage, except for the contract pretty much giving you half or more if things don't work out. You can love, live together, have kids, travel, be together in all the same ways in a relationship. It's not just the guys that get freaked out if someone wants to be together. Many women out there break up with guys that get too "clingy" or that wants to rush things. There are no promises in marriage. People let themselfs go physically, the treating of each other becomes different, and many things don't go as "planned". Women dream of being married when they are 5 years old and they have it all planned out. When it doesn't go as planned they throw a fit, look for sympathy, and blame men for all the problems. Some people want to get married just because their parents and grandparents did it, or it seems like the "right thing to do". Marriage doesn't equal happiness all the time. Just enjoy the relationship that you have. If you are happy with the person that you are with, then that's all you need...

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    • I couldn't have said it better than this....this is insanely true...good words my man

What Guys Said 2

  • marriage is a big deal...why is the divorse rate so high lately? people don't take the time to work at their relationships...people think its just meant to be perfect, it never is...theres always ups and downs...youve got to prove to him that you're willing to take it slow for him and that you guys truly are compatable...you should try living together first...i know people say this is a bad idea, but you never truly know what its like to be with that person until you live with them

    i mean I would have married my ex but obviously would have been bad since she's my ex now, will things work out between us? I hope so...do things look good for us, yes, but you can never plan the future and you can't see what's going to happen...youve just got to live for the moment...i beleive he will come out and ask you when he feels the time is right...marriage is a big step for anyone you have to understand that, guys just take it a little differently than women...

    just take your time, don't rush

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    • Of course I have questioned it and sadly we have broken up but he came to me and told me he couldn't live without me so I don't understand why marrying me would be such a big deal. I mean he tells me he wants to marry and have kids with me so why would putting a ring on my finger be any different. unless he is lying..

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    • So then what happens when we are both on a different page. Lets say he doesn't know what he wants but I've been planning my wedding since I was five. (sorry I think most girls do it) I want him in my happy ending/dream wedding. And I'm scared it will never happen if he is soo scared now. I mean I don't plan on changing anything about the way I treat him when/if we got married. And if its the same as a relationship why not just get married. Not every girl does it to get half. Am I insane?! lol

    • No ure not insane and I don't believe women get married to get half...anyways that's my there are prenups...but look, you should talk to him, let him know how you feel, share ur emotions, be open...tell him you want to take it to the next level, just say it would complete u...nothing will change with you guys, you just want to make it offical if you will...if he loves you enough he will want to wear a wedding band and make it offical...give it some time, don't rush a guy into making a decision like that

  • I never thought I would get married. I'd been asked and asked by a lot of the girls I dated and I always shrugged it off. I realized after that I didn't want to talk about it because they really weren't the right girl for me and I was terrified of marrying some girl I would be miserable with. Yes I "loved" them and we had a lot of fun together, but ultimately they just weren't what was right for me.

    Maybe this guy loves you to death, but just doesn't know what he is really looking for. and Like many guys, only knows that he likes you "NOW" but isn't sure what he wants "THEN" so being forced to think about it is scary.

    Your young, why the hell do you want to get married now anyway?

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    • I may be young but I know what I want. I have a plan and id like to see it pan out like I have it visioned. I know that there is a possibility that it may not happen like that but it would be nice. I'm not gonna be mad or throw a fit because it doesn't happen.

    • Just food for thought: I've found that the more I try to steer the direction of my life or the lives of others the more it results in dissapointment and not at all as you planned. Yes things can "fall into place" but most of the people I know who approach life that way are increasingly unhappy as they approach the end of their "master plan".

      If you ask me, the only way to be truly happy, is to just take life one day at a time and be thankful for everything that works out, and ignore the bad.

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