My Fiance and I have split after a year together. I always told her that I don't do friends and if we ever split I will just cut-off as it's how I deal with things. Now we've parted, she has sent me text messages asking if I'm OK. I've been told by a woman that this means that she's angling to negotiate a reconciliation. Personally, I think it's more to do with making her feel better than me. I'm gutted, what do these text messages mean and what do I do?
Most Helpful Girl
Without knowing who initated the break up and why ,its hard to know exactly why your ex may wnat to contact you.
If she initiated the breakup she may be feeling guilty - most normal balanced people don;'t like hurting others and she obvioulsy loved you once if she agreed to marry you. Alternatively if it was you that decided to split maybe she is having a hard time coming to terms with it. Splitting up is hard at the best of times but when you have gone as far as getting engaged then it is even harder to accept that the future you had planned is not going to be anymore.
Whatever the reason the first few months of a break up is always hard - even if she was the one to make the decision she will still be missing you. the habit of talking to and sharing things together is a hard one to break and there will be times when she will wonder if she's done the right thing - especially if she is not in another relationship right now. That's not to say she necessarily wnats the situation to chnage just that all those feelings don't change overnight.
What it really comes down to, is what you wnat to do - she has opened a door to talking again you need to decide if that's what you wnat. if it was her that broke off the engagement you may still feel angry with her or have other unresolved feelings you might want to work through alone.
Alternatively if you initiated the split maybe this is a chance for you to talk ,now that the high emotions have all calmed down - to explain more clearly to her why you felt you had to go - it may help her move on from the pain she will be feeling.
If you don't wnat to talk you should contact her and tell her why - firstly it will stop you getting texts you don't wnat and secondly it is the mature and courteous thing to do . Just because you are no onger together and despite whose fault it is you can still be mannerly and respectful to your ex -just text and explain politely that you just don't wnat any contact with her right now.