Why does she text me?

My Fiance and I have split after a year together. I always told her that I don't do friends and if we ever split I will just cut-off as it's how I deal with things. Now we've parted, she has sent me text messages asking if I'm OK. I've been told by a woman that this means that she's angling to negotiate a reconciliation. Personally, I think it's more to do with making her feel better than me. I'm gutted, what do these text messages mean and what do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Without knowing who initated the break up and why ,its hard to know exactly why your ex may wnat to contact you.

    If she initiated the breakup she may be feeling guilty - most normal balanced people don;'t like hurting others and she obvioulsy loved you once if she agreed to marry you. Alternatively if it was you that decided to split maybe she is having a hard time coming to terms with it. Splitting up is hard at the best of times but when you have gone as far as getting engaged then it is even harder to accept that the future you had planned is not going to be anymore.

    Whatever the reason the first few months of a break up is always hard - even if she was the one to make the decision she will still be missing you. the habit of talking to and sharing things together is a hard one to break and there will be times when she will wonder if she's done the right thing - especially if she is not in another relationship right now. That's not to say she necessarily wnats the situation to chnage just that all those feelings don't change overnight.

    What it really comes down to, is what you wnat to do - she has opened a door to talking again you need to decide if that's what you wnat. if it was her that broke off the engagement you may still feel angry with her or have other unresolved feelings you might want to work through alone.

    Alternatively if you initiated the split maybe this is a chance for you to talk ,now that the high emotions have all calmed down - to explain more clearly to her why you felt you had to go - it may help her move on from the pain she will be feeling.

    If you don't wnat to talk you should contact her and tell her why - firstly it will stop you getting texts you don't wnat and secondly it is the mature and courteous thing to do . Just because you are no onger together and despite whose fault it is you can still be mannerly and respectful to your ex -just text and explain politely that you just don't wnat any contact with her right now.

    • You are totally right, it is the mature and courteous thing to do but as it was her that broke it off, and I'm feeling very vulnerable, to hang on to something now would be the wrong thing to do. I don't want to be with anyone that don't want me. I dare not send her a message though in case it instigates some dialogue between us. I find it easier to cope if I don't have any communication with her. I miss her deeply and am lonely for someone to talk to about it all. Thank you so much.


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What Girls Said 4

  • i agree with you, she would feel better to hear you say you're alright. it would ease her conscience, however, she probably does care about you still even tho she doenst want to be involved with you. you know what you need, a clean break. don't hold onto hope to try to read things into her actions. if she wants you back, she knows how to reach you but that doesn't mean you should go back. its time to worry about your needs now.

  • It means she's thinking about you. Talk to her. She probably misses you.

  • Looks like my situation is kind of similar to yours so I would like to answer your question. I believe she is still in love with you and is thinking about trying again to make the relationship work. I say this because I just texted my ex boyfriend twice within the past 5 weeks, asking him out for a drink. He responded once, saying he was "out of town for work, but maybe some other time? miss you" but we still have not met up for drinks. We were together for 1 year, we broke up 2 years ago--he broke up with me but I feel it was largely my fault...but I've changed for the better in the past 2 years and I am still in love with him, so I texted him to see if we could just have a drink and chat..So, my guess is your ex would like to try again too, and I say, if you're both not yet in love with other people and still have feelings for each other, then definitely go for it! I say love is worth the risk of getting hurt. I really wish I would hear back from my ex, but he seems to be ignoring me now...Maybe text her back ask her how she's been, what she's been up to...it may or may not work, but if you still have feelings for her, its worth a try :)

  • It's been a year and she's texting you? I think she might want to get back together. That's a good sign that even after a year she still misses you, you probably had a lot of good times and she sees the grass was not greener on the other side. Id say if you are interested in possible reconcilliation then gradually start to text her back with small talk, How was your day, things like that. I wouldn't mention anything about the break up at this point. Let her bring it up. If she is thinking about getting back then you have to give her time to get comfortable with talking to you again. Just be real nice and sweet to her, show her what she is missing by not being with you. Good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • means she's lonely and misses you or she actually just cares about you as a friend and wants to make sure you're not devastated.

    i hope this helps

    • That's what I thought, no point getting my hopes up is there?

    • It depends on why you guys broke up in the first place

      if you can show her you're less dramatic and not trying to make any new getting back together too serious, then there's a chance. add some jealousy in there and that can speed things up.

      good luck my friend