Purity?

Ohkkaay so I was wondering what a 16 year old boy would think if I had a purity ring on that said "true love waits" or something like that. Is it a turn on ? Turn off? Opinions on that. Also I would like to know what a guy would think if I wanted to wait til marriage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A guy should respect you decision to wait until marriage to have sex.

    He shouldn't try to call you any names, or make you try and feel bad for wanting to wait until marriage to have sex.

    On the same note.

    You should respect a guy's decision to not want to wait until marriage to have sex.

    And you shouldn't try to call him any names, or try to make him feel bad for not wanting to wait until marriage until he has sex.

    With that said,

    As far as appearances go, guys are split. A good 60% will say they respect a girl who respects herself. And they will try and save social face and play the moral card where other women are present who are ready to criticize them if they're honest.

    As far as reality goes, of the 60% who tries to save social face, and "respect a girl who respects herself"; and usually not in a relationship with nor married to a girl who wanted to wait until marriage. Hypocrites? Yes. Well, in front of other women anyway. Behind closed door or between just other guys, the truth comes flowing out like it's on sale. And they'll openly admit how they really feel.

    As far as the other 40%, who don't care about saving social face, what would they think about a girl who wanted to wait until getting married to have sex? "Good luck getting married"; no, but seriously, they'll openly admit that it's not a turn-on, they're indifferent if they don't have feelings for the girl or find her attractive, and it's not worth the frustration or wait for a girl they have feelings about or are attracted to. That's like a guy "waiting until marriage" to (1) take a girl on a date, (2) reach into his wallet and pay, (3) call, text and talk, (4) pay attention to & care about her, etc. Why not just wait until marriage to meet someone and have a relationship? That's like being in a "relationship" with a guy who is "waiting until marriage" to take you on a date, pay for you, talk to you, be there for you emotionally; but has no issues with having just sex for the time being; until marriage.

    And in all honesty, the way guys see it, is as an outdated way of basically saying:

    "If you want to have sex with me, you're just going to have to marry me"

    or,

    "If we're not going to get married, then we're not going to have sex"

    but..

    "It's not like we have to be married for you to spend your time & money on me, and be there for me emotionally."

    In other words,

    "I (the girl) can get what's important to me (the girl) before marriage, but you (the guy) can't. It's just more moral and respectful that way."

    But again, that's just how "guys feel" vs. how "you feel". It's not a matter of who is right and who is wrong, or what is moral or immoral. Those are just a matter of opinion, and there's no such thing as a right or wrong opinion.

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    • This is a perfect answer, I love it! It really throws an ugly double standard into the spotlight! Girl's that want to wait "until marriage" for sex, should be upfront about it, and realize that it's not shallow for guys to start looking elsewhere. Girls wouldn't wait forever for a man to propose to them, they'd leave after they got tired of "waiting around." Same goes for guys!

What Guys Said 1

  • Um...a purity ring as a turn on/turn off? Are we getting some meanings mixed up here?

    You're setting limits. And someone who wouldn't respect these limits needs to be shown the door.

    Different guys, different thoughts. The one who respects it can be considered a 'keeper'.

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What Girls Said 1

  • honey I think you are thinking of this for the wrong reason. The point of a purity ring is not to turn on guys, and if you truly feel that you should wait until marriage for sex then it doesn't matter what the guy thinks. If he is anything other than completely respectful then you deserve better anyway.

    The point of wearing a purity ring though is if you really believe that true love waits. =)

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    • I do believe that true love really waits. I was just wondering if guys thought that it was weird if a girl had a purity ring and if they did, would they leave then? that's what I mean. but thanks

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