Should I pursue or should I just let this go?

It's the old cliché : I've liked my best guy friend for over a year now. He dated a girl for 10 months of that year but they recently broke up. We had an emotional relationship (with lots of email & texting) while he was dating her but I decided it's not fair toward the girl & stopped all communication. The day after they broke up he contacted me again. We get along like a house on fire but he keeps canceling on me when I organize group things like movies or braise with my friends. His friends & family love me & I always have a good time with them. We run together and hang out after races. I've always been there for him when he needed to talk & he has told me that I'm special to him in that way.

He knows I have feelings for him & sometimes it feels as though he has feelings for me, but just the fact that he never comes over for a visit or asks me how I am when I'm going through a stressful time or cancels on me half an hour before a social gathering makes me feel as though I'm being taken for the fool. It really bugs me because I'm attractive, funny, sporty, a nice person & basically everything that would make us compatible but I'm just not good enough. His 2 previous girlfriends were super skinny and super bitchy and willing to sleep with him (something I'm against - I believe in no sex before marriage - something he told me he also believed in when we had just met). I don't know if our age difference has an effect - he's 25 and I'm 30.

I just want someone to think I'm worth the effort (I can be a little difficult sometimes - especially when he cancels an appointment). I wish I could just move away from here and never see him or speak to him but I'll miss his face too much :( Aaaarrrrgggghhh!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I reckon you should talk to him about this and this time don't let him "Cancel on you". If he does just let it go and move on because you deserve better.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, the sex is probably prety attracitve for him! I would cut him loose, frfankly, in spite of his family and all.

    How about slapping him good and hard! Would that bring you closure?

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should move on. I mean, wouldn't you be much happier spending your time and energy on a guy who is happy to meet with you at the arranged time, who would come over to visit you, asks you how you are doing etc...Someone who appreciates you are not a bitch and that you don't want to have sex without marriage...I think this guy's behaviors already told you a lot where his priorities lie, or don't lie.

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  • That canceling thing is really annoying. I also get annoyed when people cancel last minute (unless it was legit) because it shows little concern for the organizer and lack of consideration. If he's not putting in as much into your relationship perhaps you should bring it up to him and make him own up. Age does become a factor if it accurately reflects their maturity level.

    You have to decide whether or not you can accept him for his flaws and find out how he really feels about you. If it's not mutual then it would bring unhappiness for you to try to make someting work when it doesn't

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