Why won't he propose?

I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 10.5 years. My boyfriend is 26.

Still no ring.

Is it because he doesn't love me enough?

Updates:
To the guys that are obviously against marriage, are you even in relationships?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You kind of have to decide for yourself how to react. If it were me, I wouldn't want to contaminate our relationship with an outside custom. But maybe in his case it's more a matter of being with you for as long as possible until you get fed up and leave him.

    One radical departure would, if you really want him to marry you, is to propose to him. And if he says no, the leave him. If marriage is critical to you. Or you could just keep waiting and see where things go. After 10 years though, a ring seems dubious. Three years is about the longest it should typically take, although for some relationships, there is a wiser dynamic that doesn't fret over jewelry.

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    • I'm not fretting over a piece of jewelry honey lol

    • You did say, 'still no ring'. I know it's largely symbolic. Still, if you don't feel like he adores you now, he won't even after marriage. In fact marriage would be the beginning of the end. But you know that and that's what you want. Break away from him by getting closer.

What Guys Said 10

  • Marriage is often more important to the woman. If the man is getting what he wants already without marriage he may have no reason to think about upgrading his commitment. Yes it's traditional for the man to propose, but make sure he knows that your life plan includes marriage at an age that will leave time to build a family. Be clear that if he's not interested in marriage, that you need to downgrade this relationship to casual friends, and start going out with other men. Who knows, he may appreciate you more afterward, and change his way of thinking. It's not an ultimatum, it's just being a strong proactive woman, as you should be.

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  • Hello,

    maybe you want to consider asking him to marry you.. you need to at least consider talking about it.. he may love you with all his heart but may not want to take that step becouse he's unsure.. somthimes you need to initiate a step..

    Good Luck

    - Chris

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  • What's the point of getting married?

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  • Woah slow down! You two are still young, aren't you taking things a little too fast. He may just want to experience more of life before he gets the feeling of being tied down. I'm not trying to sound anti-marriage, but isn't 25 a little young to be thinking so soon about marriage.

    If you two are truly in love, a little more time together as a couple is something that you can wait for.

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    • 25 is young? I'm 20 and married. My parents were married at 18. I always though 25 was the prime age.

    • Hey if that's young then I'm way to young me and my girl are planning on getting married and I'm 19

  • He's not ready.

    He's to shy.

    He hasn't even thought about it.

    He doesn't want to.

    He's saving for a ring still.

    He's setting up something special and you just don't know about it.

    There can be multiple factors.

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  • Can be a bunch of different factors. Are either of you still in school?

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  • Some guys are just afraid of commitment. Or afraid you might not want the commitment. Does he know your feelings on the subject?

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  • Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, or from your perspective why buy the pig if you can get the sausage for free...

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  • if you didn't know what he wanted going in to the relationship..you wouldn't be where you are now. ALWAYS know what you're getting into before you start it..if you had already planned on marrying this guy from the start but he didn't. you wasted your time..cause you didn't ask him what he thinks of it

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    • I doubt they were thinking of marriage when they got together because they were both somewhere between 14-16 years old. Are you telling her she should have known she wanted to get married when she started this relationship TEN YEARS AGO? :p

    • Most girls will look at a guy and know instantly if he's marriage material..its kinda like how we look at em and instantly go "f***able, or not" lol..and besides..my girlfriend is only 17 and she's already thinking she wants to marry me. which scares me half to death..we'll see what happens

    • I am not against marriage. and yes I'm in a relationship

  • Why do you want to get married?

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What Girls Said 7

  • Like Dave b quick said, marriage is often more important to the woman unless he has something to gain from it that he's not getting from not being married. There are plenty of guys that still want that commitment just as much, but there are some that don't see the point. This usually happens when you've been living together for a couple years. He sees it as, you're already playing house and acting like a married couple, so why make it legal and complicated. We see it as a security and proof of their love. After 10 years though, I doubt he's going to make a move in the marriage department unless you say something about it and figure out what his feelings are about it.

    Of the people I know in this situation, marriage never ended up happening for the couples who had been dating for that long and been living together for a while. The woman eventually dumped the guy because he refused to propose. I'd talk to him and figure out where he stands sooner rather than later. No point to waste any more time on someone that doesn't have the same end goal as you do.

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  • Uh, if he hasn't asked, either he's not ready or he doesn't want to. Simple as that. Especially considering you've been together since you were kids. That alone is a red flag in a sense.

    Talk to him about it and see where he stands. If he avoids answering or gives some lame answer, chances are he doesn't want to get married to you, and you should consider ending the relationship. If you've been with a guy for some time and he won't propose, chances are he's stringing you along.

    But given you two have been together so long since a young age, it could be a few of the other factors.

    Seriously, though, talk to him about it. Just ask about where he stands on the idea of marriage.

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  • Have you two discussed marriage? If you haven't, you probably should. He might be against it, or he might just have figured why change things if they are going well. At least tell him you are interested in marriage someday. If he has different views, you should probably just cut your losses and move on. Or, that could be enough of a shove to get him to buckle down and propose.

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  • marriage is a huge step so maybe he's just waiting until he's ready to make itt. I think its a very personal moment when someone has decided to make that committment. I'm sure he loves you and sees his life with you if you have been together for so long so just give him time to get to your level. let him propose when he feels its right like that it will be genuine, the last thing you want to do is make him feel like your giving him an ultimatum or pressuring him to marry you. if it makes you feel any better you shouldn't worry about age 25/26 is still very young and you guys seem like your on the right track. just give him time I'm sure he will ask you when you leats expect it and it will make it so much better :)

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  • wow dang, If you really want to get married to him... maybe you should propose and see what he says. But yeah, my boyfriend proposed after only about 3 months of dating! you can always let him go if he doesn't seem to love you enough and find someone else who will propose in a few months and you'd be marry in a few months... maybe? it could happen but if you want to and he doesn't want to at all... that sucks girl... good luck

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  • What was your boyfriend's explanation when you asked him?

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    • You should try to discuss it with him. If you're 24 you probably haven't been out of college very long. Maybe he's waiting til you are both more financially secure. No matter what you do don't push the issue. Ask him if he's thought about getting married and/or what his goals and plans are then tell him yours. Don't ask him this during a baseball game, or when he's getting ready to go out. Ask when you are together and there is plenty of time for a long in-depth conversation. Good luck!

  • If he stuck with you for 10 years, I'm pretty sure he loves you.

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