I am 22 and my boyfriend is 23. WE have been together for 2 years now and we live together. My boyfriend is the kind of guy who is very codependent and I am the complete opposite. I have the independent attitude that says "I don't nee your help I can do it myself" I have always been like this and I don't know why. My mother and father always fought when I was a kid and she always wanted to leave him but she never worked so she stayed in a terrible marriage because she had no choice...i swore to myself that I would never be like her! I have taken it to the point that if my boyfriend even says something like "Would you please stop leaving the gate open when you leave." I will not close it because I don't want any man telling me what I can and can't do. I know I have taken it to the extreme but I don't know how to stop. I love my boyfriend very much but I don't want to need him and that's all he wants from me. I know he is frustrated and so am i...i just don't know how to change it. I still get angry when I go see my parents and it brings those old feelings back up and it just makes me push my boyfriend farther away...i am just so afraid that I will end up like my mom and be stuck and need a man instead of enjoy being with a man...
I have serious issues with men...help
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try going to therapy, your parents marriage obviously did a number on you. practice telling yourself that your boyfriend is not some one that you need to fight with, he's not your dad, also remind yourself you don't need him you want him. and its OK to do nice things like closing the gate.0
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