I just got engaged. I am so happy to be with her. But, I think she is an alcoholic. We have spent times having drinks and had some great times. She sometimes drinks every mixture imaginable and then gets very mean towards me. Yesterday she started drinking vodka with a friend at 11 am...then they shared 2 bottles of wine...she met me after I got off work and had a beer, shot of Jager and ordered a shot of Stoli. At my band's practice, she had 2 more beers. Then we went to the casino I'm playing this weekend to check it out and she had another beer and another shot of Jager...(after reading this I'm thinking, yes, she has a drinking problem.)
On the way home, she got really mean towards me and said some stuff that really hurt. Can anyone tell me how to get her help? Have you ever dealt with this before?
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Longshot had some good ideas. My mother was an alcoholic (or rather, though she has been sober for 12 years now, she still considers herself to be one; that's how AA works). Anyhow, it's often the case that they need to hit "rock bottom" before they pick themselves up and get the help they need. It's not always the case, but if you're serious that she might have a problem, don't be surprised. It's great that she agreed to stop drinking right now, but if she really does have a problem, don't start thinking everything is fine. It can be incredibly hard to deal with this going forward as she slips then promises than slips.
I would definitely consult Alcoholics Anonymous to see what's best. One thing, never bullsh*t yourself about what she is doing (though be sure to treat her well). Furthermore, if you said that she wasn't going to drink, f***ing stick to it. Too many times family members end up enabling their addicted loved ones by giving them a break here and there. Try not to let it get between you two, finesse lol, but never buy her a drink because she really wants one and is crying or yelling or whatever. You will never be doing her or yourself a favor by doing that. NEVER. If it means a rift in your relationship, so be it, don't enable her. Make sure to ask AA about this so you can hear it from them too.
By the way it might not be that bad, but bullsh*tting yourself about it hoping for the best can really leave you disappointed. So don't.0