How to dump a difficult guy?

OK so we've only been married 1/2 a year and we've only been together 1 year. I really wanted to dump him after 2 weeks but he's very persistent. How do I go about dumping him?

since we are married now, I want to make it less messy and say it's "only so we're separate but still married". He doesn't want to every break up and refuse to listen to me when I say to give me space and let me move away and for minimal contact. I some times think about cold turkey leaving him but we've already invested too much time together.

Why do I want to separate?

-we have different morals. He didn't go to church, he doesn't save sex for marriage. we basically got married so sex would feel OK for me since we are married (he's the only one I've ever had sex with)

-I feel it disgusting that he lived with a girl when he was 17 and she was 14 for 3 years. And they had a lot of sex and he told me every tiny detail about how much sex, what positions/foreplay, where they had sex (in the car etc) and how his first time went and how her down there taste etc. Kind of gross

-He does pot and I don't

-He doesn't know my religion or my God

-He likes to have too much sex, and I don't

-He talks about his ex too much, which is gross

-I hate his past (sexual past, and how much pot he does, which is a lot of pot by the way)

so... other than that he breaks my stuff and he broke my 1600 dollar laptop ! and yeah, my camera and other stuff.

So should I break up with him? and how should I go about doing it?

Thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You idiot.

    So there's this guy that you've never really liked to the point where you've been wanting to dump him ever since you were with him for two weeks. Then you married him even though you don't like him and are nothing like him, so you could have sex with him, AND want to dump him. Wow, I'm sure your god will be pleased with your interpretation of the whole 'sanctity of marriage' thing.. Do you intend to marry every guy you want to f***?

    And now you want to break up with him, but not get a divorce. Because that would be messy. Well that's great! It would be good for you just to see what a horrible mess you've got yourself in. Why have you let it come this far?!

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    • Well said!

    • I felt like I could love anyone, with God's help. He really seemed to need love. He says his dad kicked him out of the house at 17, and that's why he lived with his girlfriend. Then his girlfriend cheated on him and kicked him out of her house. And he seemed to need love, and I felt sorry for him. He made me feel like he had no one or nothing else in the world but me and I was his everythign and he would die without me. I guess I have to marry him till death do us part. I am not going to marry again.

What Guys Said 2

  • Wow girl... Married to a guy who breaks your stuff? How did that happen?

    But well, there's no way to make it "less messy", after all now you're married. Divorce is the way.

    By the things you said, he's somewhat violent, so you should look for a place to stay while the divorce things are getting settled... Call a lawyer, a close friend and then talk formally to your husband about the divorce (and I mean it! We never know how people's reactions can be, so you better take some precautions).

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    • I'm religious and divorce is going to look bad on me, and my God and my people will look down on me. Divorce is not the answer. I do love him that's why I married him, he seems to need a lot of love and he's somewhat clingy. It's bad when he breaks stuff which he has ripped my books to pieces, broke my lamp and my laptop. I'm afraid he'll so more so I should just learn to not talk against him. Yesterday night he grabbed my arm and I started to hit him. We just need to stop this fighting.

  • A perfect example about how superfluous imaginary friends can successfully destroy a relationship.

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    • God does not destroy the relationship. It has nothing to do with God. It's just that I some times don't feel like I'm around a religious person and I don't feel close to God. But I know God does no harm. it's not my fault nor is it his fault for choosing the religious beliefs we do. I mean, I do plan to stay until death do us part. I just have it hard to love someone who I don't feel deserves my love some times. Then I rely on God to help me. So God does more good than harm.

    • If your religion is not harming the relationship, why did you bring it up 2 times? "-we have different morals. He didn't go to church, he doesn't save sex for marriage." and "-He doesn't know my religion or my God".

    • Yeah I guess you can say that it is my fault for thinking I cannot love him because he is not religious. God could probably love him and help him to change if he gives God a chance. God can do anything. But anyways, It's not God's fault. God doesn't do bad things like destroy marriages...it even says in the bible that if a nonbeliever chooses to stay than a believer has to accept and stay... I'm just disatisfied because I'm wishing he was more religious.

What Girls Said 2

  • What are you crazy!

    I would disect your stupidity from the 2 weeks all the way until 1 1/2 years together but 'Theiz' did a good job at that so I will cut to it.

    You tell him face to face I want a trial separation and say you will go stay at your mothers for a while (have your things packed already) and leave

    Then reacess your intelligence

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  • DIVORCE HIS ASS ! WHY WOULD YOU MARRY A LOSER ? YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER.

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    • Actually I don't think I can do either: divorce or do better.

      I've looked around, lots of guys I dated have also have no religion, do drugs, party too much, have too much debt... etc etc, everyone has problems... I just have to deal with his now that I'm married to him. Divorce is against my religion and culture. I had my pastor marry us, and he will be super disgraced (along with me) if we ever divorce.

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