My ex is engaged to his ex a week after he left me-so confused?

My boyfriend and I were so perfectly happy, until one night he broke up with me. He and his ex were together for a year before she broke up with him. He said it was because she didn't want commitment and she wanted someone with money. She had a boyfriend while we were together but was texting my boyfriend and saying she missed him. A few weeks before he left me, he told me his ex had broke it off with her boyfriend. I am so crushed and don't want to get out of bed. The pain or thoughts doesn't stop! We have only been split up for a week! They seem so happy. It's so unbelievable to me! I am in shock every day... And can't help but cry. Why do they get to be so happy? :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • I truly feel for you... what you are going through is a completely normal reaction.. I have been there, not under the exact same circumstances, but definitely just as bad and not wanting to get out of bed. I could say all the things people say at a time like this, "He wasn't the right one for you anyway", "Someone better will come along" blah blah.. I know it is so hard to believe those things when you're where you are. So, pamper yourself.. take care of yourself.. Allow yourself a few days in bed to completely hit bottom with the pain, and cry, cry, cry all you need to... it always helped me to read books, self-help books about how to get over somebody, or books with a comedic undertone about people who have been through the same thing and how they have dealt with it.. When I recently went through a breakup, the pain was so bad that I felt like I was the only one who has ever felt so badly, nobody could have ever felt as sad as me - and then I thought of way worse scenarios, like Sandra Bullock and how her husband publicly humiliated her and how strong she was (at least in public).. I know that might sound silly but if you can look at other people's situations that may have been even worse than yours and they came out of it, you know you will eventually too.. Chances are this isn't your first breakup in your life so you too know that you will get over this eventually... I know, all you can think about and picture in your head is how happy they are and how great everything is with them, judging from their unstable past it's probably not so, but it doesn't even matter, in your head you are making them out to be way happier than I'm sure they really are.. Call friends, family, anybody that will listen to you.. I know people get sick of hearing about it after a while but maybe just explain to them that you just need someone to listen while you get all of this out and try to get over it.. If you need to or think it would help, maybe even see a therapist.. Just remember his decision had nothing to do with YOU, it was his issues that led him to that decision.. I just really really feel for you and wish you the best, heartache is the worst... Give yourself a break, know that you'll have good days and bad days... Good luck to you..

    • I know eventually things will get easier, but It helps to hear others say what my ex did is a little crazy. I keep thinking this is not what healthy people do to other people! Thank you for validating my thoughts. Although I must disagree that It's true love when you leave someone to find someone with money.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hey don't let this get you down too much. I'm in a pretty similar situation to you. We were on a break (my decission) after 6 weeks of no contact she tells me she doesn't think were right for each other and then bam I find out last weekend that she's engaged to some other guy! (its only been 2 months since she said she wanted to marry me and have my kids).

    I thought we were perfectly happy and everything was going to work out but you know what, I don't want to be with her anymore. Anyone who can shift their feelings that easily isn't right for anybody. Sure their happy now but they broke up for a reason before and karma will come round one way or another but the unfortunate thing is you won't be around to see it or enjoy it because by that time you'll be over it. Listen to moeisdope, she's on the right track there!


What Girls Said 2

  • I was in the same boat not too long ago, about 5 months or so ago. Me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years, and we broke agreement. But we break up a lot, but never stay broken up. A month later I find out he got another chick pregnant. At that point I had no other choice but to move on and you know what? I found a guy that is WAY better than my ex. You see, when one door closes another one always opens. It may feel like the end of the world now, and I understand if it makes you wanna cry. You just do what I do, when you're feeling upset write it down. Keep a journal. and date every time you write. When your life finally turns around, re-read everything you wrote...I promise you you will say to yourself "What the hell was I thinking being this upset over him?" Someone is going to take his place, it may not happen today or tomorrow, just keep your head up and stay beautiful.

  • because they really love each other. That stupid guy made you a rebound! it's really hard in your part esp when you see him happy with someone. Move on! It's easier said than done but I'm sure you can. Time will heal. Forget about your ex. Always remember that lose someone because someone better is cming. That stupid ex of yours doesn't deserve you!