I met this guy about 10 years ago. We were both newlyweds,but were very attracted to each other. Fast forward to present day. I am in my 12th year of marriage,he in his 14th..We both married young (I am 29 he is 36)...I had separated from my hubby for about 5 months,got back together,then started texting this guy,so decided to actually go ahead w divorce due to the fact that I was always sidetracked by someone or something else. (I say that because I KNOW it will end up sounding like I am leaving my husband for this guy which is 99% NOT the case) Anyways. This guy, He found out through one of his coworkers that I would really like to have the chance to get to talk to him,and I didn't think I'd ever get the chance cause he is married,hes pretty high profile (he is a cop)..just don't think it'd happen. But he texted me...I thought for sure it'd just be a 'hit it and quit it' situation,but it turned into so much more. We never had sex. We met up on 5 occasions in 3 months,sexual only twice,no intercourse because he wanted our first time to be 'special' (we always met up in parks). I started feeling for him,and he said he was falling for me..went as far as giving me songs to look up w very meaningful and obvious love lyrics,but wouldn't come out and say that's what he was trying to say. We would joke about the future,but I NEVER not once expected him to leave her. I always wanted to be his side thing,sad but true ( I know it sounds sad). I mean,of course I'd love to be with him,but I am still married myself. I am just saying,I know this isn't a fairytale I AM being realistic. Anyways. I told him that my husband and I were definitely getting a dissolution,he gave me advice and talked to me about it,but slowly he has been backing away. I asked him what happened,if I should lose his # and he said 'that's not the case at all'. Then we have chatted here and there like normal..but I miss what was happening. Now,I think I figured out that I think he is giving me space to go forward with my dissolution with a clear head. I sent him a text saying I think I know why your not talking to me and he said why do you think and I said what I thought,also adding in that I think its cause he was falling for me and he got scared,and that I want him to be brave and be happy,not even with me,but with ANYBODY. And he never responded. That was 2 days ago. I need an opinion on what happened. He said he is very hard to break down to say what he feels,I think it is due to his profession..he also is very depressed because he is laid off..she makes him feel worthless instead of trying to lift him up in this hard time. He HAS told me his feelings though..just two weeks ago he finally admitted he misses me,that he thinks about me constantly,then the songs came..I just don't get what happened?!?!
So.My questions: Did he mean what he was saying? Do you think he got scared of it? Why would a guy give a girl such deep songs? And is his not texting back saying that I am right or he is annoyed?
Most Helpful Guy
I think he feels guilty that you might be having divroce becouse you are falling for him while he know that he has no such intention to leave his wife.
I don't think he backaway becouse he wanted to give you space. I think he backed away thinking that once you are single, you might pressure him to get a divorce and if he didnt, you may get hurt or try to make a scene.
Remember, he is a cop and he has a reputation on stake.
I think you have to clear your mind for the time being. Just forget about him and concentrate on your divorce. I don't know what Trihill means when he said this is bad for your devorce. But I think if your husband will be able to prove that you were having an affair with somone while you were married to him, you may loose lot of your rights dpeending on which country/state you are living.0