He's engaged but we still love each other?

now before I get the "if he loved you he'd be engaged to you"

we were engaged..we were engaged when I was around 19yrs old. he's military and he's getting out next year. I was talking to him the 23rd of Sept. about how he missed me and still thought of me as his and still loved me a lot and wanted to see me and I could tell in his voice he was serious. I've known him since I was 15 and knew he was the one I was going to marry when I was 16. it's always been the same for him. I called the wedding off, it was darkest period for him ever for me too. he left this girl Shianne to marry me. she was crushed, obviously. well, back to Sept. 23rd...we were talking everyday like we used to for a few days and then suddenly he adds Shianne's mom and Shianne on facebook and I stopped hearing from him. I knew he still loved Shianne and I was OK with it, you can't help who you love. we've been on and off REPEATEDLY but have never been given a FAIR shot because it's always been long distance. well, by Oct 4th they were dating and by Oct 10th they were engaged and planning on moving in together and he'd changed up his whole career plan. I guess she was visiting her family and they decided to hangout and things just "clicked." I'm the only one he's having problems talking to because of our history and I'm the only girl she's threatened by. I want him back and I honestly feel like on some level, he does too. we've talked about DEEP stuff. they fight about me a lot, or used to. I guess they haven't fought about me anymore much. it's because I've cut down on talking to him. I think he's just scared we won't work. people keep saying it won't work with them because of the way it's happening and it's so rash but any advice?

Updates:
he's doing his best to give me the cold shoulder but he's not doing good at alll with it. if he didn't want to talk to me he wouldn't and he'd ignore me but he's not...he's just not talking to me as much as we used to..im not sure whether to stop
talking to him or to keep talking to him to remind him I'm here for him always and that I dooo love him and he CAN trust me...but it's OBVIOUS that it's hard for BOTH of us to have boundaries. it's never been friends with benefits or anything like that
we've just always been muuch more. should I stop talking to him? I'm scared if I do he'll forget about me and things will get better with them, as bad as that sounds. a part of me knows he'll never get over me but another part of me is scared he will
i have no idea when theyll get married because they aren't having a ceremony & if rebuilding trust with me is what he needs then that's ok!ill wait.what do I do?do I keep talking to him in hopes hell remember?do I ignore him risking losing him completely?

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What Guys Said 1

  • you broke up with him and he broke things off with the other girl for you...he's at round 2 with the same girl and he still does have the memory of what you did to him back then in spite of his mixed feelings...you've got a lot of trust re-building to do if you think you're gonna have another shot at destroying an engagement a second time around

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