Engaged under 18?

Anyone out that under 18 and engaged? How long were you dating that person before and what was your exact age when you first got engaged?

I'm 16 and just said yes. Any advice for me? :)

(I'm not going to get married until after high school.)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wanted to get engaged like you and married at 18. My girlfriend was afraid of her parents so she wouldn't do it. I had to wait until we were 20 & married at 21. (time wasted not being married) I now have been married 20 years.

    I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have dated different girls or going over to different girls apartments, but I don't regret it.

    It seems like people get married in the mid to late 20's or even 30 & get divorced. That's too bad but we found the right ones at a young age.

    I know that you said under 18 respond, but I just wanted to tell you my success story.

    Do they still have pre engagement these days?

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    • I agree with this person.I would like to know how many guys & girls played the field and then found out the guy or girl 2 to 3 relationships back were actually the right one but they let them go just to see what else was out there.

    • Thanks. A story like yours is just what I love hearing. :)

    • Your welcome, I was told that I was too young by well everybody. Listen to your heart.Only you know what this guy is like & only you know how strong your love is for each other.

      The BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!

What Guys Said 5

  • My best advise anyone ever gave me on marriage I think would just be to live with them for a while in your own place together(you know, as engaged) before tying the knot, instead of getting married while you two still live at different places then moving in together as your first living on your own experience.

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    • (Responding to this after four months is kind of weird, but oh well. :P) I think that living together first is smart. You a few other people who answered this got me thinking about that, and living together first is now my plan as has been for about 4 months. :) Thanks.

  • I wanna say getting married that young is a bad idea, because people go through drastic changes in their late teens and early 20s that turn them into completely different people. I wish you the best and hope everything does work out, but don't be surprised if it doesn't. Don't be surprised if the man you're still married to at 25 isn't the same man you married at 18 and the relationship ends over it.

    People don't really learn or show who they really are until after they've been on their own and totally independent for a few years. Best advice is to stay together with him to see where likes take you and then wait until you're at least 23 years old before you get married.

    I've seen too many marriages straight out of high school fail because people don't understand that who you were in high school isn't who you're going to be once you really "grow up".

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  • I got engaged at 16 myself. She was the most beautiful girl in the whole world and she lived just to love me and felt the same way. We known each other for 5 or 6 years before that.

    Well we lasted for about 3 years after announcing our engagement to our friends and family. We probably could have made it, but we were young and too much in love. I gave up school to be with her and she gave up a offer to go live with her family and have a normal life. We never regretted our choices we really loved each other that much, but we realized that we were giving up a lot and that we did have all the time in the world to love each other but we still gave up things we didn't really have to. We were just blinded by love.

    We broke it off and went our separate ways and promised to keep in touch and should we ever cross paths we will try again, but we just went too far too fast.

    I think if you really love this guy and vice-versa you should go for it, but always keep in mind you have your whole lives in front of you, don't be afraid to just take it slow and enjoy what you have right now.

    (I hope my advice helps you and keeps you from messing up like I did)

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    • Okay WHY did you give-up school? if they LOVED you so much they wouldn't have made you or you wouldn't have felt like you had to give that up that is a serious thing to just give up! I mean sure you CAN always go back..but you can't get that precious time back to be in school, it'll take you even longer and WILL stress you out even MORE!?

    • I did go back and it cost me a year. At the time we wanted to get married I had to get a job and support myself and her. 'cause she had no parents to fall back on and mine said if I went through with that I would have to take care of myself as at the time I was 18.

      I made that choice without really thinking about it. we all make mistakes

  • Damn! 16 ang engaged. Ok my advice is DON'T EVER CHEAT HIM! An ex-friend of my girl is engaged with some poor guy who has more horns that a hunter's trophy room and he doesn't know jack. I could only feel sorry for the guy, because they are 19 and I think she's cheating on him because she rushed and said yes way before she should have. However, the girls is such a phony bitch that she acts like he was the love of his life and her facebook was full of "I love my boyfriend" messages.

    Just don't give him wings if you cannot keep him flying or you will kill him.

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    • No worries on that one. He is my entire world. I love him with all of my heart and never want to hurt him. I might have done this early age wise, but emotionally I'm ready. I can't invision life with out him.

    • Then you're all set to go. Good luck! =]

    • Thank you. :)

  • now I'm curious this was asked 8 months ago are you guys still together? are wedding plans still in affect? hows the relationship between you guys? if I may ask.

    sry I'm just curious in how everything is workingout

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    • We are still together. <3 The infatuation stage is over though, so engagement went down to an engaged to be engaged thing. :P We don't want to rush things. :) Still love him so much. Thanks for asking. :)

    • Oh yea that is understandable but I'm really happy things are going well between you two! good luck with him!

    • Thanks! :D

What Girls Said 16

  • Personally I don't think you should get married even after high school. I was with a guy( my high school sweetheart) since 15. and we ended up breaking up at 20. why? because we were both very young and we wanted to see the world. I know you are probably saying " I know he's the one" because I thought I was going to marry my high school sweetheart too right out of college. Its important that you. find yourself. before you get married. You don't want to end up in a divorce. But good luck& best wishes. to you and your mans!=]

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  • i am 16 and engaged also! I'm turning 17 on ovember 30, 2008. my fiance and I dated a little over a year before he proposed to me. it seems like a short period, but w love each other so much. and even the grumpy adults around us see that we're meant for eachother. since apil 20thth I've dealt wih so many people trying to tell me not to. that we will get a divorce, that I don't know what I'm doing. but we both do. we're ready. my best advoce is to follow your own heart and not to worry about what people will say, because the will.we're getting married june 13, 2010. good luck!

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    • I know this is a loooooong time after your answer, but how is everything? I'm just curious, because my boyfriend and I love each other and talk about the future =)

  • Hey there. My sister got engaged at 15years. My parents freaked out. He is 10 years older than her. She didn't plan any wedding until after high school and married by 18. She has now been maried for 11 years to the same guy.

    They knew each other from very young but their life hasn't been easy. My sister says if she could go back she wouldn't have been so stupid to get engaged at such a young age but is now happy. But marriage is a big responsibility and you miss out on your youth. Everyone thinks because you're young you will still have a great life like you were single. If you do decide to get engaged good luck but do take my words into advice. You have your whole life ahead of you and I'm sure if the guy loves you he will wait until your older.

    Alot of my friends have been engaged before 18 years and married by 18years and all have said the same thing. They regret that decision later because you miss out on what you should be doing at that age. Your life becomes more hard and you miss being carefree.

    I married at 22years and cried because I thought I was too young. You really need to look at this long and hard before making any decisions.

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  • Well I got married when I was 17 right out of high school and at that time I thought that was what I wanted. I'm now 27 with 2 children and divorced. I would say that if you really love this person there should not be any rush to get married. You are have your whole life ahead of you. Get your education go to collage and have a career before you get married. Marriage isn't something to "rush" into and you may think you know what you want in life now but trust me as I got older the things I thought I wanted when I was your age were not even close to what I needed. Just enjoy being young and in love and wait to get married for a while cause trust me things get a whole lot harder once you are married so just take your time if it's true love then there should be no hurry.

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  • i was with my boyfriend for two years when he asked me to marry him, I said yes, we started dating when I was 14 and like 6month now I'm 17, he asked me when right after we had both turned 16 and I'm still with him. it don't matter much on the age, its more on how you feel about that person. most people would say that the younger you are the more immature you are, but its best to look at how you feel towards each other and how you act towards each other. dnt look at the bad things its better to look at the good things, and just because someone tells you that your underage and shouldnt get engaged, so what its you choice about that not theirs, your the one who decides if its right or not.

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  • If your saying that your not going to get married untill after high school, why would you get engaded? Plus your only 16 and I m sure that right now that your are truly in love with your fiance,

    But don't forget that your getting older and your gona start looking at other different guys,

    My best advise for you is just if you trully think that he's THE ONE for you, then just pray about, because right now your to young yo think about marriege you migh be head over hills about him, but once you will start growing up you will think different, because your mind and your body will change.

    Good luck

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  • Honestly, if that's what you want to do than do it! Don't let people give you grief for it! Only you can know what's best for you, and if it's a mistake then you should be able to make it! I got a lot of grief for getting married at 19 to a man 6 years older than me. If you live him.WHO CARES yah know! You got one life, so you should be living like you want! :-)

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    • Man, it is nice to hear that attitude! Thanks!

    • No problem. I know a lot of people say don't do it, because they themselves weren't ready, but remember everyone is different. What's good for you isn't good for everyone else. My 26 year old sister isn't married, but here I am 21 and I am! It's just not her time yet and it was mine. If you ever need anyone to talk to about this, I'm here!

    • Thanks. I'll remember that. :)

  • My only advice to you is enjoy being in love! You will only find a love like this once in a lifetime so, enjoy it! don't waste any time stressing and really think things through. Recently, I have been to a wedding of two 18 year olds and it was lovely. Apperciate love and thank your lucky stars that you already found the one. The rest of us, are having a much harder time haha. Enjoy!

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  • I know this was asked a really long time ago, but how is everything? I'm curious because my boyfriend and I love each other and we talk about the future. We talk about being together and we can see us getting married later in life, but neither of us want to until after college. Just curious =)

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    • We broke up a little over a month ago after being together for about 4 years. Sorry I'm not a success story. We had major things wrong for for over 2 years and didn't take the chance to fix them when we could. Then he moved to a different state for college and all of it combined was to much to handle.

  • I got engaged when I was sixteen. Right before his birthday. I am almost 18 now and we are still in love. I have been dating him almost two and a half years now. When we did get engaged we had only dated a year and half. We plan to get married right out of high school. We have all of our plans set. We fight and break up sometimes. But I know in my heart and his that we belong together. And that is what always brings us back together is our love for one another. You have to know what is right for you. Marrying at a young age is right for me. I don't want to know what it is like to date other people. Cause there will be no one else like my guy. So I'm a lucky girl to have my guy, so I'm going to hang on tight and never let go. Follow your heart. Not your mind. I hope this helps.

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  • i was engaged during high school and our total time together was nearly 4 years. we ended up breaking up a couple months ago and it was actually a good thing. I think that doing it all so early is a bad idea because you can get stuck in a relationship that turns bad or miss out on a lot in life because you end up in a rut. just going off my experience. and now after all that I'm fine and I've moved on and am dating a guy who is amazing and I now just want to have my life and not stress about marriage and all that. (btw I'm now 19)

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    • Wow...this is exactly my story now. Insane. We were 2 months short of 4 years when I left him. Its a good thing because our relationship had been crappy, in a rut, for a long time but I didn't know how to get out. I'm 19 :)

  • DON'T DO IT! getting married so young is such a mistake. you change so much between the ages of 18-25.

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    • We weren't intending to get married until after college. And we decided not to consider ourselves enganged a few months after this post. We broke up about a month ago after nearly 4 years together.

  • As long as you are both inlove than I think getting ingaged under 18 years old is fine, and you may want to wait until high school is done.

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  • I wasn't engaged at that age, but I hate to tell you that I knew a lot of people who were, and all of them ended up falling in love later, maybe in college. None of them got married. When you're so young (even in college) and you get engaged, you're really just playing house. I would have wanted to be engaged at that age too but I'm happy I never was. I'm 19 now and yes, I'm thinking about that stuff a little bit, but I'm not expecting a proposal NOW. I'm just expecting maybe to meet the person I will eventually marry (could be my boyfriend). Don't break up with this guy, obviously, keep going with it, but don't believe that it will actually go through, or that you will be married forever. I have never heard of a marriage like this working out, unless both people are very, very religious. However, if it does work out, good luck. I'm not trying to be cynical, only being honest.

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    • I understand your point. If you're right or wrong I don't know for sure. Still, I think we can do it. :) Since I asked this question, the infatuation stage ended. Half of what I was thinking involving engagment was because of that . . . but the important half wasn't. We're both very mature for our age. Thanks for the answer. :) Oh, and look up at the very first answer for a guy's relationship story like this that did work out. :) (you said you'd never heard of one)

    • Oh I'm sure some work out, I just mean that the ones I know first-hand don't. I'm not saying that there's no chance whatsoever, just that in general the odds are against you. would you go to college? in today's economy it's almost impossible to get a job without an education.

    • Oh yeah, I'm still going to college. :) I'm not completey insane. :P

  • too young.

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  • I would say NO!

    I am 21 and just divorced. A guy friend whom I had known since I was 11 joined the marines in Dec last year. Went to his going away party and anyway we texted back and forth. He came home on leave in March and we got together and decided to get married, he was being shipped to Afghanistan later . Well he went back to San Diego and we kept talking and decided when he came back in late April to bring his personal belongings home we would get married. In the meantime I was not real faithful and had slept with three other guys. Anyway he came home on his two week leave before shipping out and we got married 4 days before he left. What a mistake! I did miss him so much, but within a couple of weeks the whirlwind adventure became real life and I knew I wasn't ready to wait a year for companionship and sex and I cheated repeatedly. Through some of his friends he found out , things went really bad and just two weeks ago a terrible mistake was corrected before a judge in divorce court. I wasn't even able to see him in person to tell him how sorry I am that once reality set in I knew I was not close to being ready for commitment and marriage. Only lucky thing was we tried our best to get me pregnant while he was hear and it didn't happen. What a tragedy that would have been

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