I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years. Everything is great except one thing. He isn't ready to marry me yet? I don't get it. We live together, share finances. Basically play house. But when I bring up marriage he says he is committed and doesn't understand why I cannot see the commitment. He says he has thought about it but he isn't sure/ready for it. I can't help but be bothered by this. He was divorced approx 8 years ago. I have never been married. He is 41 and I am 27. Advise please.
Most Helpful Girl
... and you're only really willing to put another 2 years into waiting before you'd have to move on. He can't really argue with that - it's about making yourself happy, and you're not forcing him.
But either way, you basically have to spend that time NOT trying to convince him to marry you! Nagging is irritating - think about all the times your parents or teachers kept going on at you to do something. You stop wanting to do it just because they won't stop talking about it... even if you were planning on getting around to it in the first place. Now you just hear it all the time and there's no way you want to do it. But sometimes then you grow up, leave school, move out or whatever, and when nobody's telling you to do it all the time, you have your space and you come around to it in your own time. I think this is kind of like that - he'll get sick of the idea of marriage if you keep pestering him about it. Maybe he still has bad associations from his last marriage as well. For him to want to marry you, you'd have to be able to make him think it'd be amazing with you. If he doesn't, you don't have to take it personally - he might just not want to get married again. Move on, find someone who does. Good luck!0