Why I am not happy as before with him?

What's wrong with me? I've been with my man for almost three years now. Been engaged for a year and half. Don't plan on getting married for a long time. I find myself not as happy as I use to be with him. I don't get those butterfly feelings anymore, look forward to anything really except maybe sex a few times a week. I wish I felt like I did when we first started going out together. How can I bring that back? I don't know if it's me, us or him. Any suggestions? Please ask me for more info if you care to know more specifics.

Updates:
It's like we are already settled down. We have a 18 month baby together and live together. Maybe I feel this way because it's Winter lol, I dunno..
I know what I want in my relationship, my man and with our family :). Just haven't been feeling happy, maybe I am depressed. ( not suicidally depressed)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • hey...it's just that you guys are now together and spend a lot of time with each other. So there is nothing new in it. And also now you have a kid, so it makes you a little more responsible person. Because you can't live totally free life of a teenage girl. Things did get change when you live with someone, Instead of meeting him for an hour in a day for a date. So guys are probably missing that but I guess everybody has to go through that part. And we have to make adjustments in life. Hey but if it's about having fun then best thing I can tell you is that just don't get always involve with him. I mean do some other things, hang out with friends (ur friends where you can go alone, no cheat ;)). And that's a way you can keep yourself busy and also you can keep your relationship as good as you want. It's just about a little change around yourself, but it doesn't mean that you leave someone you love(I know you wont, just saying). Or spend your time in anything you have passion for. Same advice for him and then you guys will enjoy going out together every time bcoz it'd feel like meeting sometimes.

    Take care

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    • Yeah you are probably right. We just need to spend more time apart and I need to do more of my thing. Like when we gone for a month, we are like so happy to see one another and the sex is amazing too like we just first met or something.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's normal for that to happen. After a while the hormones that create lust subside, and hormones that create feelings of attachment start to blossom. It's just the way it is. You are getting used to him being there and are starting to settle down. If you're feeling bored with it or unhappy then you're not ready to settle down and you should probably rethink you're situation. If you're engaged with him then obviously you're very serious. Maybe take a break? Take a few months away from him and do you. Maybe move out? I don't know but if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. Also, how old are you?

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    • I'm 21..

    • I think you're scared to spend your life with him. You should do some soul searching and rediscover yourself. Take some time by yourself or whatever but you need to be sure you know what you want. It could also be that your depressed. You should really spice up your life (I mean your life with your fiance). You should incorporate something new in your life. Reorganize your house, buy brighter lights, take a dance class or something, but keep yourself as busy as you can and change up the scenery.

    • Yeah I have been wondering if I am depressed. My fiance is a awesome guy to me. Very loving, affection and fun to be around. I find there is no rush to get married. I want to be whole before we get married if that makes sense.

What Girls Said 3

  • You know the answer more than anyone else. I used to be the same with my guy. I would dread seeing him and I blamed it the way I looked "If I just lost weight then the night would be so much better and I would be in a good mood" I would tell myself that, hiding the real issue that I didn't feel comfortable with him and I didn't think he truly loved me. It's most likely an issue of communicating a feeling you are hiding/ don't recognize. good luck working it out:)

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  • It could be a combination of being a parent and in a relationship? I'm not sure, but being engaged, raising a child, and being as young as you are...that could be tough.

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  • try new things.

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