Go with my instinct, or am I overreacting because I like her.......

Hey! this is my first, and hopefully last post! lol.

Basically, I met a girl at work when I done some overtime one day (we don't work together, we work separate shifts... so rarely see each other) We swapped numbers, and have been talking and flirting for the past few months. we finally went on a first date a week today. The date went very, very well. having been on dates before, I know how awkward some can be. this was quite the opposite. The conversation flowed all night, we laughed, we had good chemistry... lets just say all the boxes were ticked as far as dates go... and then some. we ended up missing our last trains home, and because she lived the closer, she invited me back to stay at hers. making it clear we wouldn't be having sex. which I totally expected, and respected her for. However, we stayed up all night (til 6am) drinking, talking, listening to music...we had a nice kiss (or two) lol. I did SLEEP in her bed with her, and went home the next day. she said she wanted to see me again. ALL GOOD! later that night when I was home, she texted to "thank me for a lovely evening" .. to which I replied the same feeling on my part.

NOW... the next day, around 7pm, I sent her a short text saying hello, and asked how her day was. she replied, but they were short, and to the point (unlike her) then that was it. I thought I'd leave it for her to initiate the next contact...however she hasn't. I then see her in work briefly, and she was friendly enough, but didn't quite seem "herself" ...

Later that night, (stupidly maybe) I texted her asking her out again... she said she was busy this week, but asked if I was free Next week. I said yeah, OK, and that's the last contact we've had. three days ago.

Now I maybe being dumb, but she just seems to have gotten less keen since going out, and is being very closed off and short in texts. and she hasn't initiated any contact ...i get the feeling she's lost interest, which leads to me being self critical "did I do something wrong on the date" ... "did I snore in my sleep" lol... Christ knows... I don't think I came across too keen after the date... I didn't wanna leave it a week like some dudes, and considering we spoke quite frequently before we went out, I didn't think that would change after the first date... she just seems less keen all of a sudden. I feel like now though, I should back off until she gets in touch.

i will say, she is going through a divorce from a 12 year marriage...but said she was unhappy for years, so felt it was a relief to be out of it. I Dunno... someone tell me I'm just being an idiot and should just chill.

I'm never normally like this either, which is strange in itself!

thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well if she was in a 12 year marriage she probably doesn't want to get serious right after. From what you said about the date I bet she'll call/text you in her own time.

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    • thanks for the reassurance hun... I'm sure you're right. I'm just being stupid. If she doesn't though, I'm sure it wasn't anything I done. I wasn't imagining how well the date went. could just be her own personal issues she has at the moment.

      take care. thank you!

What Guys Said 1

  • well my friend right now you should leave it alone, if she's going through a divorce (which is very hard even if you don't have feeling for your ex-spouse).Its a bad time finding chemistry is a great thing just take it for what its work.She going through a lot right now and put more pressure on her is gunna make it worse...like you said Chill out let it come naturally or you will wreck any chance you have with her . hope that helps

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    • Thanks dude! it has been 6 months since her split, but I suppose that's not so long after being with each other for 12 years. I think they were childhood friends too. so it must be difficult as you say.

      I think I just needed some reassurance that I should take it easy.

      its funny, I used to see forums like these and laugh at them. but actually doing this has felt quite good. especially when you get people taking time to help you that don't even know you!

      thanks again! take care.

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