Is He Ever Going to Follow Through?

I met an American guy when I lived in Spain, and immediately he pursued me. He got very intense very quickly, and when I didn't respond as enthusiastically to his grand ideas of being together when we got back to the States and moving to be together (he lives in Kansas city, I live in Seattle), he got back together with his ex girlfriend, who he has known all his life. Then she flew to Spain, and he proposed to her, which seemed very extreme and really threw me, especially since we slept together between the time he got back together with her and the time he proposed. I told him to never contact me again, and returned to my life in Seattle. Eight months later, I get a call in the middle of the night from him (though I never gave him my number...), and he said he had broken off the engagement, that he loved me, had tried to live without me, but found it too hard. I was furious that he was contacting me when I told him not to, and turned him down. But six months later, about a month ago, I contacted him, and we've been talking ever since. He told me things would be different this time, that once we both graduated from our universities he would think about moving to wherever I went to law school, etc. I've been encouraging him to come visit me in Seattle so that we can figure things out, which he says he will do once he can save some money. For several weeks, he has been calling or texting almost every day, so things have certainly seemed to improve, and he seemed to be making a conscious effort to be the kind of man I want in my life. He even brings up marriage, kids, etc., which I am much more hesitant to think about in a non-hypothetical way because I am several years younger than he is (I'm only in my early twenties). But for some reason, he has not called me in nearly a week (it's been five days), and I have no idea why. Nothing went wrong, we didn't argue, I didn't call him a bunch of times hounding him...so where did he go? And today is Valentine's day, and I understand that he can't be here, but he could at least have flowers delivered, or um, I don't know, call ME to let me know he's thinking of me. Although I realize we're not together, I still don't think this is an unreasonable request, especially when he has been assuring me that he's trying to be better for me. So, men, should I drop him for good? Is he just reverting back to his flaky, mysterious-but-not-in-a-good-way ways? *perhaps I should also note that he was in the navy for eight years, beginning at age seventeen, and has served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He suffers from PTSD, and can be extremely closed-off, at times hostile, and is afraid of losing those he loves*


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What Guys Said 1

  • holy long. lol.

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