FML-Should I stay or should I go?

I am so f'ing torn. I caught my fiance in a major lie this weekend. He didn't cheat but he went to a bar and I'm pretty sure he hung out with another girl. He doesn't know it but I saw his phone records and just on Saturday and Sunday there's messages back and forth to this unknown # that I called and it was a female. He assures me (of course) that he isn't cheating but yesterday we pretty much called it quits.He finally manned up to his lying and that he fuc*ed up. But he thinks I'll never trust him again and honestly I don't know that I can.Yesterday was extremely uncomfortable because he pretty much stayed in the extra room all day.So I told him he didn't have to stay in that room and I left the house.I left around 3 and came home around midnight and he was gone.I was fine. I went to sleep but I started freaking out this morning when I realized he never came home.I called his phone and it went straight to vmail. I thought he was dead on the side of the road somewhere or in jail. I just knew that if he was upset he would be out drinking his sorrows away with his boys. He came home a little while ago and I confronted him.I was saying we need to figure out basically what to do now because this is not okay. He surprisingly started telling me he loves me and wants to be with me forever just like we planned and he again acknowledged that he fuc*ed up.He was also upset that I left the house. He talked about his feelings and the life that we built together. I'm so torn. I've only ever caught him in a small lie before and this major one. But other than that we never had any trust issues or major issues period. When we got engaged my heart was truly in forever...through thick and thin. So I don't want to just give up but I also don't want to be an idiot. What do I do? Please help...all feedback will be very much appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • he acknowledged he srewed up - as in it was wrong to hang out with another girl and lying about it? Or it was wrong to go on a date? I mean, if he just hung out with some girl you don't know and he was just a fool who got caught up in ies mainly because he feared you'd misinterpret the whole situation - then he's just that, a fool. If he went on a date with a girl he's interested in and let her believe he's available - then he really facked up. But even in that case you might consider this a case of cold feet? You know him best! And if it's the first time he ever did something like that, you might as well have a good man by your side. A fool at times. lol

    • I really like the way you interpreted it. Honestly I do believe he was just being a fool. I will admit in the past I've been a little crazy about him going out and I'm definitely working on it. I do think though that because of that he's scared to tell me things. He really is good to me though and I know he really f'ing loves me.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly, I think you guys should separate from one another. You are just engaged and he's already cheated? Imagine what it will be like when married! He's obviously not ready and for him to lie and sneak around is a bad sign. Don't just shrug it off...why should you settle? You know? Find someone who really loves you and marry that person!

    • having any doubts about any of this is just a sign something is not right and you are always going to wonder...what is going on if he starts acting weird.. ya know?

    • Great point and I don't wanna live like that.

  • I dated a guy on and off that was cheating on his fiance with me... I had no clue she existed, then he married her and I only found out right before they had their baby. He lost his house and then got back with her after they had been broken up for two years...

    you got a lot to think about...

    cheating can happen to anyone anytime, just go with your gut sweetie

    • You're absolutely right. My gut tells me he would have cheated if he wasn't caught right away.But I know he's not cheating because he is always home or w/me. He's not working right now and since I take care of everything nothing can go past me. I also have access to our phone bills and can see all his activity. I prefer to not have to stalk him though. I never before had a reason not to trust him. He also seemed really shook up by almost losing me. But he should know what he has regardless.This sucks

  • leave him long enough for him to realize how much he needs you and also to show he really cannot do something like that again or he'll lose you for good. if you forgive him so quick he'll take advantage of it.

    i hope things work out :/

  • If you really do love him, I'd say give him another chance and see how it goes. Just keep your gaurd up!

    • Yes I really do love him. He is my best friend and we've been in each others' lives going on ten years. We have a truly deep connection.