How can I get my boyfriend of 4 years to get engaged?

We have been together for 4 years. I have asked him to marry me and he said no that we were too young to get engaged. He is twenty one and I am twenty the exact same age as my parents. He won't give me a straight answer as to why he doesn't want to be engaged but he says he wants to marry me. Please give me some advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • In my opinion, 21 IS young to get married. I am also 21 and noticed a massive trend of people getting engaged for the hell of it. If he wants to get married, he will in time. Don't pressure him. You don't want a marriage knowing you forced him to do it, rather than him proving his love for you. How will you ever know how he actually felt otherwise?

    Like most guys, he probably wants to be more stable (in job, mentality etc.) before making a commitment like that. There are still so many things you and him can achieve in life before getting married. Especially given the amount of time and money involved (ie. ring etc.)

    Do you want to get married just to prove your relationship? because after that the only way you can prove your love is kids etc. Are you really ready for that? I'm sure he's probably thought of that, and I doubt he'd be ready for that.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm in the same situation, I really want to get engaged and I know he does too. But he says he wants to do it in his own time.

    So maybe your boyfriend's just in the same situation as mine, just wants to do it in his own time.

    As someone said here earlier, we can't force them to get engaged/married. It would be wrong, all we can do is wait :)

    If he really wants to marry you, he will ask you when he's ready, but I think it's good that he knows that you're ready too.

    Everything comes in it's own time, but I do know also that the waiting is difficult, but hey, it will be worth it!

  • Chances are he is telling the truth when he says he wants to get married, but 21 IS young for some people. It doesn't matter what age anyone else got married at; it doesn't matter if you feel ready. you BOTH must feel ready and comfortable before you decide on something that changes so many aspects of both of your lives. You should be okay with waiting instead of forcing him to get engaged before he is ready.

  • He probably just wants to wait until he's more comfortable getting married. I'd stop asking and just be patient :P