Ladies and gentlemen of GaG - Who gets the ring?

Okay, so here's the story:

I proposed to my ex about 3 months ago. About a month ago, I got suspicious that she might be cheating on me. She lived in my apartment. So 2 weeks ago, I decided to come home early - and I saw her f***ing some random guy.

I dumped her, and kicked her out of my apartment. I also got the engagement ring back. I checked with my lawyer - and since there was no marriage, I legally own the ring.

However, I'm not asking about the law, but etiquette. Personally, I think that I am in the right - and that the ring is mine. However, since my image heavily influences my professional life, naturally I am concerned that I come out of this with my good reputation intact.

Under the rules of etiquette as I understand them, if the girl breaks the engagement, the guy gets the ring back. If the guy breaks the engagement, the girl keeps the ring. Technically, I'm the one who broke the engagement - I dumped her, not the other way around. But, in my view, my ex "broke" the engagement when she cheated on me.

So I turn to you guys for advice on this situation.

Updates:
Thanks for your advice! Like I said, my image is important, so I needed to see what people thought of this situation. I am definitely taking what you guys said into consideration.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if it imposes on your professional life and will infringe it

    then I would say let her keep it

    but if it doesn't then I would take it

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    • Frankly I don't see how it would impose on anything. The girl CHEATED on him, for heaven's sake. That's one thing etiquette absolutely does not call for.

    • People always talk. You can never stop people from talking.

      no matter what happens girls/guys have to have their two cents in any serious situation. Makes them feel better = their ego getting bigger

What Girls Said 12

  • You may have dumped her, but she was the one who messed up. So regardless of the etiquette, she doesn't deserve the ring. I'm so sorry this happened to you :( But you seem like a really sweet guy, I'm confident you won't have any trouble finding someone worth your time.

    Personally, I would not keep the ring if my partner and I broke up under any circumstances. I don't want a single thing to remind me of him. My ex got me this really expensive necklace, and then proceeded to just be an inconsiderate jerk; a year later during the break up I handed him his jacket, his CDs, and then the necklace and sent him on his way.

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  • Keep it. Etiquette is not cheating on your fiance. Besides, get your money back and find a better girl. A girl who knows how great of a person you are.

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  • Sure you get the ring, she cheated..she doesn't deserve the ring...

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  • Yeah, ask her for your ring back.

    F*** cheaters.

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  • She cheated on you. Of course you get the ring!

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  • Keep the ring, she cheated so its rightfully yours. If she asks for it just tell her to ask the next guy she f***s over for one...

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  • I think it's right that you get the ring, as well.

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  • Keep the ring. She doesn't deserve it.

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  • you get the ring.

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  • she cheated, etiquette kinda went out the window there. keep the ring, she doesn't deserve it

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  • I don't know why people have such a hard time answering this, if you proposed and she declined or you both broke up the guy should get the ring back, he did pay for it anyways..

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  • you checked with the law? wow

    i say you keep the ring just by principle

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What Guys Said 4

  • The ring is yours. She deserves no respect from you in any capacity whatsoever. She broke the engagement due to her horrific behaviour.

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  • Not only would I keep the ring, but I would give her big f***ing Spartan boot!

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  • She broke the engagement definatly

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  • Keep the ring mate, your in the clear.

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