Should divorce be a last resort?

I kinda think it should. Marriages, in the traditional sense, should last a lifetime. The only reasons I could see going for a divorce is if the guy was abusive, or if a partner cheated on their spouse. Other than that, I view marriage as a permanent thing.

What do people here think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, my wife to be and I met when we were 20 and we're still happy together and neither of us thought about divorce at a given moment during all that time.

    1.

    Other people can do the same, given luck, insight, empathy, patience and good will.

    2.

    -I know NOW for certain that with at least three of my girlfriends I would NOT be happy now if I had married them (nor would they be, I think)

    -With other girls I didn't marry I could have had a good marriage.

    That I know NOW, with hindsight, with the knowledge I didn't have (or only very little of it) at 20.

    Thus yes, I could have married the 'wrong' girl and be unhappy with her or make her unhappy.

    3.

    I know it doesn't always happen like it happened to my wife and me.

    Who would I then be to judge people who divorce?

    It's better to have a honest divorce and be free than to live a prison-like marriage.

    Multiple divorces? Why not?

    People can make more than one error in their life.

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What Girls Said 11

  • As crazy as your spouse may drive you, I believe it is in everyone's best interest to keep the marriage whole.

    My belief is people get selfish in marriages. If one partner is unhappy, they blame it on the other, because it's easier to do so than accept responsibility for your own happiness. I think people today put too much emphasis on how "happy" being in a relationship should make them. Being a couple isn't about sharing experiences and working together anymore, it's about "how does this person make ME feel". Instead of focusing on the couple as a whole, they only think about themselves. No one feels responsible for their actions anymore, it's always someone else's fault.

    I've been married for 8 years now and believe me there are times when I'm ready to walk out the door. But then I realize that 90% of my misery is coming from me - because I refuse to see things any other way than my own. I get stubborn and selfish, but I always realize it in the end. There has to sacrifices and compromises. And sometimes when things just don't work out the way you want them to, you have to learn how to live with it.

    As for abuse and cheating - I completely agree. Unforgivable.

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    • Completely agree. Yeah people do get selfish, sometimes I guess that can be difficult to see.

  • I believe that too, people who get married should stick to there vows unless someone breaks them. A fight here and there shouldnt cause it. Boredom shouldn't either. You both promised to work at it when you get married so make it work. But if someone is abusive, cheated or does something that seriously emotionally scars yu (like tells you your worthless or something) then you gotta get out. When you get married it's like you'r swearing to everyone that this is your soul mate. And soul mates don't do things like that to you.

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  • I agree - marriage should be permanent. That's why I get so upset when I hear of divorces for no reason. Marriage is a committment made to love someone for your whole life, and you shouldn't get divorced just because you feel like it. If you love someone enough to marry them, you ought to love them enough to stick it out. At least give it two miserable years before you think about divorce.

    I do take a cynical approach to love and marriage but that's only because all the guys I've loved have betrayed me. Someday I would like to get married, but only when I'm older and when I've been with the same guy for at least five years. After five years I can think about marriage, cos once you've been seeing one person for that length of time you know them a lot better than if you married them after five months.

    I hate celebrity weddings and divorces because whilst the weddings are beautiful and splashed all over the media, the divorces are usually for stupid reasons and that defeats the point of marriage.

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  • Marriages DO last, its selfish immature adults that haven't grown up yet who get a divorce, they took responsibility for getting married, and they KNEW what it meant to get married, marriage is for life! And don't you even ACT like what I'm saying is a lie!

    You better really get to know a person before you MARRY them or you have no excuse for getting a divorce but, "I was selfish, I was addicted to sex, I cheated, I was a pig, I was immature" yea you know what I'm sayin is right!

    Man, you say, "Oh it just didn't work, we just weren't for each other"

    WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE FIGURED THAT OUT BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED IDIOT!

    Man, some people are just STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, IMMATURE, GOTTA GO BACK TO PRESCHOOL, IDIOTS. Man, if you actually TRY and stop thinkin bout your self all the time, you can make it work. You CAN. Now I'm not sayin if you guys are about to kill each other you should stay together, maybe you should get some space for that right there.

    Like they can't figure it out... damm.

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  • first of all, I believe too that abuse and cheating is intolerable. I also, I knw, I'm very traditional, I believe that marraige should last a lifetime. I mean, really wats the point of a ring, and i-dos and commitment? there's no commitment if people just call it quits just because.

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  • I completely argue with you lol ...

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  • I believe so for me, but I understand if people do it.

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  • Yes, I believe it should but sometimes you just know it's not right.

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  • sometimes couples can even work through infidelties in their marriage. I say if they can do that then why should other couples just give up for no good reason.

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  • this may be very cynical off me, but I just see marriage as a ring and paperwork stating what you have known to be true the whole time you've been with your partner, that you love and have devoted yourself to that someone. I see divorce the same way, when its over, it's over, whether you have the paperwork to prove it or not.

    and no I do not plan on getting married, I already know how I feel and how my man feels, we don't need a piece of paper to tell us so, but I think we've lived together for so long that we're married in common law by now. marriage just isn't what it used to be, you don't even have to know a person to marry them anymore, you can just marry some random stranger that you meet at the hotel bar in vegas, or like me, become married even without getting married because your state government says so. I just don't see much point in it anymore, not like when my grandparents got married.

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  • i really wish I could agree with you, it would be a nice thought. sadly, things today are not how they used to be and a lot of marriages that try to make it work, even if it's failing, usually end up in affairs anyway. why would you want to hold out until you cheated or were cheated on if you already feel in your heart that the marriage is doomed. unfortunately, a lot of people today mistake the comfort in a relationship as staleness, boredom and lost of sparks, failing to see that the sparks have just simply become a warm, cozy glow. I will say, however, that it takes both partners wanting and willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, whether it's a marriage on the rocks or out to sea with smooth sailing. if one spouse gives up totally then it's already over.

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    • The reason I would hold out is that I believe no marriage is a total shipwreck until something gives away (like cheating or abuse) it can still be rescued and maybe in the long run might make the marriage stronger. I do agree with you that it does take effort on both ends, but divorce would still remain a last resort for me.

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    • Nah, not married yet. Still got a few years of the single life in me still. :-)

    • Just be sure to get all of the "single life" out of you before you go after that special someone :)

What Guys Said 5

  • If a couple as kids, divorce should be the last resort in cases of abuse, addiction or cheating. If a couple with kids falls out of love I think they should fake it until the kids are all out of the house, then split.

    But otherwise, I don't think divorce is always bad. The idea that marriage should last a lifetime is a relatively new concept, only a few hundred years old.

    I think an equally important problem is people getting married for the wrong reasons -- divorce is a symptom. If people got married for the right reasons, if they got counseling beforehand, I think that would cut down on the divorce rate.

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  • i believe that once married you should do everything to make it work out. especially once you have kids together. I think abuse is never acceptable and the same goes for cheating.

    if you could go answer my latest question and give me a brief opinion of what you think that would be great and leave a comment on my answer and we can chat further if you like

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  • I agree with you Kain6th its the way I see it

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  • Yes, the way marriages seem to dissolve over nothing these days makes me wounder why those sorts of people get married to begin with.

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  • I think it is pretty permanent. I would not marry a woman I didn't intend to spend the rest of my life with, but you never know who she is or what she will do when you are actually married to her.

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