Marriage and needing to have it

I just saw a question about this girl who asked what kind of wedding dress she should wear...which makes me think that she is just getting married because she wants the ceremony..but does not actually like the guy...which got me thinking...

So my question is..are there girls out there who have no NEED to get married..but if it came about they still would..that is what I want in a girl...when she could care less but if it came up then we would...I like to feel no pressure when it comes to that sort of thing..just like girls with sex...(girls control sex, men control relationships)..so I am just curious if there is any girls out there like this...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't want to get married because it just seems so materialistic. Like, a wedding now is just a materialistic symbol of what "love" is, and I find that weird. Why can't two people be together forever without having a huge wedding? Love seems more genuine to me without marriage.. I don't know that's just me tho.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Why are you assuming that because she was asking about wedding dresses that she doesn't love the guy? Maybe she is just unsure what kind of dress she should get. Weddings are really expensive, I understand why they are not attractive prospects for men. For me, I want to get married because it is what I believe is the most romantic gesture a guy could do. He wants to spend his life with you so he is willing to go through something he probably doesn't enjoy so that his woman will be happy. And it shows that he loves her.

    I'm not wanting a wedding to just spend a tonne of money and what not. I want a wedding because it celebrates the relationship. That is how I view what my wedding will be. I'm not one to spend a tonne of money either. I know some people can spend 50 000 dollars or more on a wedding. I would be happy to get married in a small get together in someone's backyard garden, in a dress I bought from sears on clearance :P. I'm a very simple person.

    For me, marriage is something that shows that someone is committed to you and it does legally come with benefits too. I want to also know that if I have kids with a guy, he is going to stay. Although I know a marriage doesn't provide that kind of security anymore, I would just feel better if I was married to the guy beforehand. I don't know why, but for some reason it makes me feel better. I know so many single moms and I admire their strength. Because its so hard to raise kids alone. I just don't want to have to do that.

    Also, I would never be able to marry someone I didn't love and care about either. To me, marriage and love mean the same thing.

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    • You basically just proved my point with the last sentence..."love and marriage are the same thing"...therefore marriage would NOT be needed...

      Also...I assumed she just wanted the dress and the ceremony because she is asking about it to people on here..why should we care..only she should...

      Marriages fail!...I have seen many of them fail (kids or not)..and...if you need a piece of paper to say that your RELATIONSHIP MIGHT fail..then you are sadly mistaken...

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    • Lol, that's fine if you don't want a marriage. I was just stating an opinion. I think that I proved myself fine. I said it celebrated a relationship. But I guess everything can be interpreted differently.

    • As I said...I have my opinion you have yours..I just wanted to see if there was anyone like me out there...

  • I am sure there are girls out there like that. Me? No, I want to get married!

    Lol..not just the ceremony..but, I do have my dream wedding in mind. Because I want to have the perfect day..of celebrating the fact that I am going to be with my lover forever! And, that I found my soulmate...So, I have to look perfect..and everything has to be perfect! Or at least I dream of it that way...If it doesn't happen, I wouldn't mind...because I would still be marrying him.

    But, I just think it's 90% of every women's dream to have their "perfect" wedding. :)

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    • I agree. It's a very important day in a woman's life, (hopefully in the man's too) so it only makes sense that you would want everything to be wonderful.

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    • I am not being an a**hole..however you are being a bitch!

    • Also...people in relationships who get caught cheating are in trouble all the time...you do not need marriage to "say you are in trouble for cheating"...face it..marriage is not NEEDED...it is WANTED...

  • For me, marriage isn't just about the bride and groom; it's about the joining of two families, and everyone sharing in the celebration of love together. If it was just about us, I wouldn't want the ceremony at all. So, yes, I do want to get married and have the ceremony someday, because it's important to me. But I would never pressure him to get married just because it's what I want. I want him to want it just as much as I do. For me, that proposal is an important moment. It's him showing me that he's so committed to me, to our relationship, and he's ready to start a family with me. It's not about the pretty dress or the cake or the flowers - it's about the pledge to each other, and the promise of joining our families and then creating our own family.

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  • Why would you assume that she doesn't want to get married for liking the guy because she wants to know what kind of dress she should wear? Just because she wants to look nice on her wedding day doesn't mean she doesn't care about the guy... Or is there more to the question that you left out?

    Anyway, I posted a question that relates to this the other day. Some of the answers there could be applied to this: link Based on those results, it's about 50/50. Some women "need" it, some don't.

    For me, I don't need to get married, but I really would like to. But if the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with never wants to get married, I wouldn't leave him because of it. Committing to that guy is why I would want to get married anyway, so leaving him because of that would seem counter-intuitive.

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    • i agree too haha

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    • Marriage mean many different things to many different people. It's not always a ceremony and a piece of paper. Some people like to share their relationship with other people. Having a marriage gives family and friends a way to see the love bloom in a relationship and share in the experience. Nothing wrong with not wanting to get married, but some people do like to. Some people do just like to live common law, its really just a choice.

    • I disagree with you, QA. Marriage is a commitment..and..it's not just a piece of paper...It is more like, you WILL get in trouble if you are caught cheating and etc...So, it is a security for both couples..that neither would ever do that to each other..and they believe they will be together forever...

  • wow that marriage probably last very long. I think some people just get despirate and lonely or she could feel like it's just the right thing to do. I don't think I would do that

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