How do I explain to my girlfriend I don't want to get married?

My girlfriend has been recently bringing up the subject of marriage lately, but I don't want to get married. Don't get me wrong, I love her with all my heart, and I would die a happy man if I could wake up next to her every morning for the rest of my life.

But in my experience, marriage is simply not a working concept. My parents, friends, siblings have all had horrible marriages that ended in divorce. My own first marriage was a SPECTACULAR failure. The only couple I do know that still together not only hasn't directly spoken to each other in months, but I've come to believe they're both having affairs.

I love my girlfriend, and I don't want to be married to her because I know it will ruin our relationship, and I don't want to come to hate her.

Can someone please help me out on how I can explain this to her? Or am I a bad person for thinking such things about marriage?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You tell her exactly what you wrote here. Part of being in a relationship is overcoming disagreements by understanding your partner's point of view and developing a compromise. And while I understand marriage is kind of something you either do or don't and doesn't leave a lot of room for compromise you might propose something along the lines of "when the state considers us common law I will marry you" Or she may be OK with "I really don't want to be married because of my views on it but I'd be happy to wear your ring for the rest of my life."

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What Girls Said 3

  • The only way is to just tell her. Just be aware of the consequences. If she wants to get married and you don't, then it might change/break the relationship because you want different things. I would like to point out that it doesn't mean it would go that way with you, but if you definitely don't want to then that is up to you.

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  • You need to tell her why you think marriage is a bad idea. Give her reasons why you think marriage isn't the best option. And no , you aren't a bad person for thinking like that. You're just being realistic.

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  • The only way is to be straight forward and say it. You are not a bad person at all. I don't believe in marriage either. I think it is a dated institution.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I know how you feel bro, I was raised around divorce and cheating people all my life, I don't hate marriages tho. I actually value love highly and have some sort of hatred towards cheaters. I think your just not ready for a marriage yet, just give it another year or two. Tell her this " look baby, I love you like there's no tomorrow, and I would love to be with you for as long as I continue to breathe,but we have our whole life ahead of us, so lets take our time before we get to that step okay?" something like that, customize it as much as you like. Good luck!

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  • You just tell her. Are you living together? This is the kind of conversation that needs to take place fairly soon after you realize it's serious, like whether you want kids or not.

    You have to be straight with her and give her the chance to leave if marriage is more important than you.

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