My husband and I have been together for 3 years, married for 1, and we have two kids (wow, in writing it makes it seem like we're, busy!) we fight a lot (when kids are asleep) he doesn't pay attention to me in any way, anymore, and our bedroom life. kinda sucks now. (to me everything can get messed up, but once the bedroom life is added, that's when we have a big deal.) he spends a lot of our money on ciggarettes (I know its a hard habbit to quit but c'mon we need that money for other stuff) like today, we only have 25-ish dollars until monday and he decides he needs to buy ciggs and all that $ we need for gas, elect (m power box) and a few other things. I made a comment about it and he got all pissed and slammed the door and left for his filthy habbit. I make his lunch, dinner, I even put love notes in his lunch, I try to look my best for him, clean the house and handle the kids, yet nothing I do is good enough. We still wind up arguing. I know marriage is work, but work since day 1? Lame.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I hate to give this advice because it sounds preachy and religious, which I'm not. But I've seen it work firsthand for several couples.

    Get copies of the books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Many people think Dr. Laura is a lunatic, and I don't agree with everything she says, but these books are right on the money. You sound like you may already be doing a lot of positive things, in which case, you may be stuck. But it's worth a try.

    A wise person once told me about finding a spouse: "choose wisely, treat kindly". You can treat a complete jerk kindly but he'll still be a jerk. If you chose a good guy, each of you doing the cute things you did when you were dating will help restore that fondness. Personally, I think your kids deserve better than a broken home (in most cases). Sorry to hear maybe your guy is too selfish


What Girls Said 1

  • I believe that you tow need to talk. I don't mean hush conversations while the children rae sleep I mean talk I adults. Why not send the kids to mawmaw's or somewhere and you two go for to get dinner (it can be fast food) some where yall can talk is better. You need to talk about what is bothering you and see if he has things on his mind too. Tell him what you think about his habit and that the least hecan do when money is tight is cut back. You teo can talk about weather or not you need to stay married. that might be a wake up call. Don't get to up set if he doesn't want to talk guys are just like that some time you need to tell him that you NEED this. I hope it all works out for you. I'm sorry that your in that situation.