I've been with my boyfriend for four years and love him to pieces. he is about to turn 23 and I'm 28. I want to get engaged very badly, I don't want to get married right away though. I want to get married when we have enough money to have a wedding and support ourselves (I'm not really into the whole living with parents while married thing or the whole living paycheck to paycheck thing either). I feel like my biological clock is ticking like crazy.
I really do want to marry him though I know we are meant to be. what he said is that he loves me so much but he says he thinks at 23 that he is not ready to get married. I told him its OK, why can't we get engaged? he tells me its because he has no job (he got laid off) and lives with his parents (had to move back home due to being laid off). he said he wants to find a job he is starting to go to school to be an ultrasound tech and would like to at least have enough money to buy me an engagement ring and live on his own/together. he tells me that the idea of being with me and only me the rest of his life is something he wants, but would like to be more stable. I believed him until I started reading things online about how you can tell if a man will really propose and all of the articles say that if a guy says that "I'm not ready" to run and dump him. that money should not be an issue that there is no "being ready" ever, so it just means the guy is stalling and will never propose. that even if he is dirt poor and living on the streets that if he loves you he will propose even with no ring. are these articles full of garbage? I really want to believe him...and I do ...but all these articles are written by men...also my friends are telling me that if he hasn't proposed by now he never will (they are married and work at fast food restaurants).
what should I do? I love him so much...should I wait until he is ready? isn't 22 old enough to be married? I know 22 year old guys who have been married for years with 4-5 kids. please help
Most Helpful Guy
Your boyfriend is making a logical decision. Lets see, you said he 1) Has no job, 2) Lives with his parents, 3) Is currently going to school. Three classic reasons to delay marriage. Those articles you read are not entirely true. A man who is dirt poor living on the street will propose without a ring? Maybe in a romantic comedy but not in real life.
Your boyfriend feels he doesn't have anything to offer right now, that comes with the whole "The Man is Supposed to Provide" thing. And getting engaged or married will not improve his situation at all. Just wait it out and give it time. Or if you feel you just have to get married than leave the poor guy and move on.1