Was that cold hearted of me

My boyfriend of 3 years proposed to me. I say no because I don't think I'm mature enough for marriage and we're both 19. Don't get me wrong I do love him but and 19 seems insanely young for that kind of commitment. I think might destroy him cause now he's gets mad at me for almost every little mistake I do. Was that cold hearted of me to tell him no?


0|0
6|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • No it was not cold hearted of you.

    If you feel that you ain't ready for that kind of commitment then you did the right thing.

    If your boyfriend doesn't understand that it is his own huge problem.

    Marriage is supposed to happen when both individuals feel that way.

    When you love someone. . . After everything awesomeness you had. . . Marriage is the last thing to do . . .spend the rest of your life with each other.

    Also want to point out getting married at age of 19 is bit young. . . I'd say best marriage age comes after age of 24-25+ . . . Though it can be different to all people.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • No. Not at all I think your reasoning is really good. Have you told him why you said no?

    1|0
    0|0
  • No, you are actually smart for doing so. Marriage is a HUGE choice in life. You both need to be ready for it completely or it probably won't work out.

    Have you sat down to talk with him about this? Sitting down and having a serious conversation may help. Letting him know that you are not ready and maybe letting him know why. If he loves you he should understand. What's the rush. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, what's a few more years of waiting going to hurt?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Good move.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • It was perfectly logical of you, and I commend you for it. Of course, he's feeling a little rejected, and you'll have to reassure him some that you're refusing his proposal doesn't mean that marriage is out of the question in the future, just that it is way too soon now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well I was 19 when I got married. Age doesn't always mean maturity. And no, you weren't cold hearted. What would have been would you to have told him yes and to start your marriage pretty much based on a lie. People always say they want honesty in a relationship, but half the time they really don't want honesty, they just want their way. Good for you for knowing your not ready and not giving in. :) I see that way too much with young military wives.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 19 is a rushing age to get married, as long as you give him a reason after you said no, then he should understand if he loves you that much. I know it could be hard for him since you turned down his purposal and its probably his first purposal, but you have to give him more information than a no, do you understand?

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, it would have been cold hearted to tell him yes and not mean it with all of your heart. You did the right thing. He needs to learn not to be upset with you. You say you're gonna be together forever right? Then you have forever to get married. Don't rush into it until you're ready 100% or it will just end in divorce in a few years anyways.

    0|1
    0|0
  • no I think you did the right thing.

    19 is young and what's the rush anyway

    0|0
    0|0
  • It wasn't cold hearted of you to tell him no. What you did was very loving, and you showed a great deal of maturity knowing that you aren't ready for marriage yet. A lot of young people our age are rushing into marriage, and then becoming heart broken when it doesn't work out. Give it time, at 19 you aren't very well versed in the world, and the person that you think is "the one" may just be "the moment" so, just sit down and talk to him, tell him to wait a few more years to see if he still wants to marry

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...