How to get a legal separation?

im not happy in my marriage anymore. I literally hate my husband. he's such a d*** and he doesn't give me any sex. I don't care if he's having an affair because I'm sick and tired of his a**. I watch the kids 24/7 and apply for jobs and wash his dirty laundry when all he cares about is his stupid cars and watching American chopper. it feels like I'm taking care of a 38 year old child. I want my life back. I got married when I was 20 and he was 35 and now I'm 23 years old and miserable. honest advice please.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i have a friend that just turned 30 and she married a 49 year old. it lasted about 1 year and now she has a 2 year old with him. they got divorced cause he was exactly like what you describe. she took him to court and now she gets support and is happy without him.

    get out of the relationship before you get pregnant again. your only young once! enjoy life:)

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    • enjoy life, you got some kids to take care of I think she's the last on the list of importance, worry about that money lady I'm telling you

What Guys Said 8

  • Well, make sure you communicate how you feel and what you want.

    I hope you haven't been holding this all in away from him.

    And, why not just go for the divorce?

    YOU are in control of your happiness, and if he's not the man you married, then, no matter how hard the decision, it is time to tell him how you feel.

    Your local government may have a website for filing pro se (without a lawyer). For us here in Wisconsin, we have the forms on-line. So, I downloaded them, filled them out and my ex and I filed jointly. It's a long process, but there should be free help at your local courthouse, too.

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  • Dudeman your advice is stupid. she is looking for real advice and you're worrying about who f'ing her. Theyre many men that would accept her and her child.

    Here sweetie: womensdivorce.com they have all the info you need to get rid of that azzhole for you, then get you a really good guy.

    Oh by the way dudeman, why don't you get yourself a girl you little p...

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    • Yea he is one of the biggest jackrabbits on gag.

  • Someone came here seeking advise about being mentally a used, yet she ran into jerks and cowards. It doesn't matter about their ages here. This guy is abusing here even if he was younger. He's emotional abusing her which is sorst than physical.

    Who she marry young or old is no one business but hers. How can anyone honest give advice and feel good about themselves know they're being a jerk (stillwater), your advice was hurtful and childless. If you had nothing to add why didn't you stay quite. She didn't say his age was the cause of the fail marriage. Go back and read it again.

    She didn't ask for a divorce and it maybe for a reason. Sometimes people don't know what they have lost till its too late. A legal separation may send a strong message to hi

    m to get his house in order. What advice would you have giving her if he was 25? Her husband was like this at 20 @25 and now @ 35. Sometimes you just can't turn sh*t into a husband cause you just may get sh*t in return. You should never take a cheap shot at someone that is hurting.

    What a sorry sack (stillwater) must be to be so heartless. They gave you something for your advice...What a joke!

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  • well, in all honesty, you're 23 and got kids, you're not going to find a decent guy after that. so I suggest you stay with him for 7 more years, in most states when you are married ten years you get alimony for life and you get half of his retirement for life. At this point I would say forget about him and think about the money, he was 35 when you meet him I'm assuming he's balling if you were 20, or you're just got daddy issues one of the two

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    • That's a stupid idea. In 7 years she'll be 30, and she won't get those 7 years back. And I know being an @sshole is kind of your thing, so I'll just leave your first and last comments alone.

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    • dudeman has a point. the regretful mommies on here might get mad and vote him down but, bottom line is the bottom line. I am considered a catch by most of my female friends and have a lot going for me. and I will date an older or less attractive girl without kids before I will date a young hot girl that jumped in the baby race with all her friends right after high school. I did 6 years with a girl with kids and I will never do it again. busted my a$$ to be dad/husband and got cheated on.

    • got cheated on, damn it

  • well you sure f***ed up.

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  • Cheat on him. Have fun. Ignore him. Make him pay the bills. See how long he will put up with it

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  • get divorced for the sake of your mental health. keep taking care of your kids

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    • i am hot and only a year older than you, and single. you should cheat on him with me

    • would you ever cheat for real?

  • Oopsie.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Find a lawyer in your area.. most do consultations for free and they can tell you what your next move should be depending on your circumstances. Since there are kids involved, you're definitely going to want to get a lawyer. Things can get messy fast. You have a lot of options and it's best to have someone explain to you exactly what those are and which would be best for you right now.

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  • I agree with nate18...that's what you get for marrying at your age to a guy 15 years older.

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  • your still very young. if you are that unhappy I think you should leave him. no need to waste time on a marriage that is dead

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  • i will tell you what I have been telling my mother the same thing for the last five years get a divorce if you aren't happy then fix it because complaining isn't doing anything...

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  • If he is not having sex with you, he is getting it wet elsewhere. I am sorry to say. Why don't you guys try counseling first and see if you can work it out before you talk divorce.

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  • If this is so, I would go and find a lawyer, does he blow away a lot of money?

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  • Yeah you should probably divorce him if it makes you so unhappy

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  • Go to your county's website and see if they have a legal self-help clinic so that you can file for legal separation on your own. However, if you need legal advice, that is another story and you should see if you can find a lawyer who will at least give you a free consultation and some information, though they will only help so much without pay. You could also look for a service in your area that could help with free legal advice, if you qualify. A certain amount of attorneys will work pro bono (free).

    Sorry to hear about your situation, sounds miserable. I think the biggest hurdle for most divorcing women is the financial one and unless he is doing well, you will need a job to make it. I would focus on how you will have the money to live on your own and plan for where you will live and what it will cost and see if you can set some money on the side before you tell him you are leaving. Once you tell him you are leaving all h*ll will break lose and your chances to plan will be gone. Good luck.

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  • Seek legal advice. In some places you can call a lawyer and get free advice. BTW while you are making your plans to exit, don't change your behavior and arouse suspicion from him. Yes, it's sneaky but you never know how someone could flip out once they find out their spouse wants to leave them. They might become spiteful and vengeful, so don't let your right hand know what the left is doing if you know what I mean.

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