Young marriages last?

Do young marriages (18-25) last or do most of them end ? Give examples if you have any.

  • Yeah they do it's a lot of work though
    59% (77)47% (30)55% (107)Vote
  • No they don't they just marry while they are still in "puppy love" and don't really know what love is
    14% (18)30% (19)19% (37)Vote
  • Some do last, but they aren't really happy with each other
    27% (36)23% (15)26% (51)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Both my parents and grandparents got married young.

    My grandmother was married when she was 17 (given, different times). But my mother got married when she was 18 and my father was 25. They've been together for 25 years. My grandparents were together for 56 years; until my grandfather passed away.

    My uncles got married later (42, 38); both of them are ironically divorced.

    My father always used to tell me the two things that bring two people together:

    - enjoying good times together

    - enduring and struggling through bad times together

    both of those things make the bond between two people stronger..

    the reason my uncles didn't last.. is because they had been through life's struggles.. endured much.. reached at a point in their life where they were financially well off.. and then someone walked into their life.. finding all of that on a silver plate.. and demanding it.. feeling entitled to it.. and in no way ADDING to either one of their lives.. or there with him during the point in his life where he was struggling.. they found him when he had already made it.. and so there was no bond strong enough to keep them together..

    my parents pretty much started from nothing.. and struggled through life together.. both financially.. and in terms of family.. at this point in their life.. they look at each other like teammates.. having gone through life's struggles together.. and being able to both enjoy life's pleasures and rewards together.. as a result of the hard work and effort they both equally put in..

    then again.. one example doesn't give a universal answer..

    the major disadvantage of a younger marriage is immaturity.. there is no guarantee that both people in a young marriage will be mature enough when entering into it.. and mature enough to last through it.. if one or both people don't understand the nature of what they're getting into.. or get into it for the wrong reason.. marriage will fail..

    a marriage is a partnership.. and each person who enters it is like a company.. each company makes money, and has certain expenses.. they find each other and say.. hey.. if we work together.. we can both benefit.. why don't we become partners? this is true.. for as long as BOTH parties BENEFIT.. if at any point ONE party does not benefit.. they are logically motivated to leave the partnership.. and since both parties will be LOCKED-IN to this agreement.. and there is no guarantee of performance or way to enforce performance.. both parties are at the mercy of the other.. they just have to TRUST that the other party is smart enough to realize that if s/o is unhappy, then they will leave.. so if they want to be happy.. then the other party must also be happy.. younger people are usually more self-centered and narrow-sighted.. not able to see beyond their own wants.. and so their own selfishness and disreguard for the other person is what causes the marriage to fail and fall apart..

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What Guys Said 9

  • My great grand mother was 14 and my great grand father was 17 their marriage lasted 81 years he died at 98 and she lived on to 103, my granmother was 15 and my grandfather was 19 it lasted 65 years and he died of diabetes. Not until the last twenty years has teen marriage been so oppressed, I think because so many of the older folks have had such bad marriages because they are so far from GOD / COUNTRY / FAMILY the opposite of my grand parents days. Our society doesn't make you wait and save yourself for marriage and it doesn't shame you if you selfishly give up on your marriage, and get a divorce. Use to NO man would even think about marrying a divorced woman because it is a SIN that keeps you out of Heaven. Use to if a man was a player(playboy) and divorced his wife, all he could get was the Skanky-Hos because the good girls talked among themselves and no good girl would go out with him. So marriage was protected by all of society, because everyone you meet or go out with is going to be your neighbors wife or husband. __ When I was young I learned that in my grand parents day if a girl wasn't married before she got out of her teens she was called an old maid and often looked at as someone with poor social skills or bad manners that had run off all her good chances at a full life and happy marriage. In the 1980's you could get married at 16 in Oklahoma and 13 in Arkansas and New Mexico without your parent's permission; and in Texas at 16 with your parents permission. There is a website that has all the current age limits around the world you have to Yahoo search it. __ The TRUTH is your marriage will only last as long as you are willing to let GOD show you how to keep giving and loving tough. He chose some very special stories for the Bible and if we read and study the stories we see where He will Bless and protect your marriage and where He will let you have your own free will even if it is selfish and cost you your marriage. If you are willing to grow up and not be a part girl and a party guy and you choose to have older married friends that do married things instead of continue to act like a teen-agers which will stress your marriage to the breaking point. __ To have a home and family is a lot of work no matter your age; but personally I wish I had gotten married like my grandparents in my teens and moved out to the ranch 50 miles from town and never got caught up in the stupid stuff board city kids get into. I wish my first girlfriend was still with me and we had grown up together out on the prairie or in the woods or on the lake together in a cabin we built together and filled with love. __ If I had only started reading all the secret solutions hidden in the BIBLE I could , still have her today in my arms. YES YOUNG MARRIAGES CAN LAST, if you do it right !

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    • I can see how 3 people already have give you down arrows because many people don't believe in or care about the Bible anymore but I really agree! Just like you I don't think that it's people's ages necessarily that makes them break up but instead their thinking. Also in dating nowadays, to quote an old youth pastor, people aren't practicing or preparing for marriage but instead practicing for divorce!

    • Show All
    • Sadly your right the ignorance is the biggest problem we have, with Theology being forced out of our schools social graces and family structure have greatly suffered. Check this out:

      link

    • Anecdotal evidence isn't evidence and the bible isn't a refereed source.

      Divorce rates are also higher in areas that report stronger religious affiliation. Placing something in caps doesn't denote a real effect and smugly condemning people on a religious basis doesn't win any friends.

  • A: Yeah they do it's a lot of work though

    C: Some do last, but they aren't really happy with each other

    Both (A) & (C) has the same essence. "A Lot of Work" and "They aren't really happy with each other" share the same essence.

    Marriage is a relationship. Let's take something less intimate , say friendship. Would two friends say to each other, soon after they met, "we get along so well that we vow to be friends forever". Even with friendship, there are many unseen factors, or "time bombs" such as personality differences, or life views which haven't grown (still underground) and break the surface. What makes marrital relationships any different, except more "upfront" ?

    There are many reasons for two people to get marry, I am seeing "they have many unseen issues to work out" as one of them in the majority of marriages.

    A lot of truths are embedded in the statistics "lefthand" quoted. Thanks for posting it.

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  • I think you have two different time periods here. I noticed that right around 24, marriages start to get a lot more stable. This is generally after the person has had some time on their own as an adult, have started a career and recognize their own part in a relationship.

    What I can tell you is that I went to my 20th high school reunion and I had the second oldest marriage there. I got married at 27, most of my classmates got married earlier than I did.

    I think people need to get personal and sexual experience before making long term commitments. it is really hard to imagine what a marriage is about if you have little understanding of personal responsibility or little sexual experience (by this I do mean sexual experience with more than one partner). Many friends who got married young reported that they simply weren't ready to handle the responsibility or simply hadn't finished growing up yet when they got married.

    The statistics seem to bear this out

    Age at marriage for those who divorce in the United States

    --------------------------------------------------

    Age Women Men

    --------------------------------------------------

    Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%

    20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%

    25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%

    30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%

    35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

    link

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    • Your report on the age at marriage is correct. However, your opinion about sexual experience contradicts all the studies that have been done on the subject. Having more than one premarital partner and cohabiting before marriage increase the risk of future divorce by over 50%. Those who think premarital sex is never wrong are more than 2.5 times as likely to cheat on their spouse than those who feel it is always wrong or almost always wrong.

    • Please cite a source on this. I have seen a lot of opinion masquerading as science and I suspect your numbers are among them.

  • Those under 20 are at an increased risk of divorce relative to those who marry older. The divorce rate decreases up until the mid 20s and then stays about the same. I was 24 and my wife 21 when we married 7 years ago, and now 2 and a half kids later we are still doing well.

    Since the babyboomer generation, between 50 and 60 percent of marriages end in divorce by the age of 50. Hopefully your generation and my generation can change that trend by making better decisions about relationships.

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  • Well it is basically based on the two of the people. Make sure that both are very mature with this decision and are willing to be together to the end. Through the ups and down, happiness and sadness. They all have to go together. The relationship just can't be based on love, or sexual relations. It has to be cause they are very comfortable with one another and they will both work together,. And are deeply in love.

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  • My grandparents got married young (my grandma was only 17 at the time) and they just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last year. I'd say yes, they can last.

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  • I am 25 and I have seen a few girls from my high school who got married and divorced already and they are my age.

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  • with time people change, back in the day when not every one had an opinion it wouldn't of mattered, but now since we all grow and mature with time so does our views and so on. so young marrieges won't last. very unfortunate, but thas reality.

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  • Most marriages before 25 end up kaput

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    • X2 I'm one of them trust me this statement is true. Ironically it wasn't because of me either, "She" just didn't want it to work.

What Girls Said 20

  • Like many people have said, a lot of young marriages don't last. But some do, and it all depends on the two people involved and also maybe on how long they've known each other before they get married. A woman I know from work married at 16 and had her first child before her 17th and now she has about 5 children and multiple grandchildren and is still with the same man. And one of my own friends has been with her boyfriend since age 14, they aren't married yet, but they act it and we all think its only a matter of time.

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  • My parents were married when my mother was 14 and my dad 17. They are still married and they are in their early 60's. The key to a long marriage is mutual respect. The love you feel in the beginning is just chemicals on the brain. You will never keep that high that you have in the beginning of a relationship. One person can't work at it either. You have to have two willing parties to work at it.

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  • I think they very rarely last very long. First, we change drastically form the ages of 16 to 30. Our personalities morph; hell, I'm not the same person at 24 that I was at 20. It's also a time when so much is going on in getting ready for how the rest ofyour life is going to go that marriage can fall to the back of your mind, and you have to work at marriage for it to be solid. And finally, this is the time when so many want to be single, experience life, have some fun, and when married you can't do everything you might have done, which can cause some resentment to foster in the marriage.

    And let's face it, most people get married young for one reason: children. Children having children, when they are too young and not really ready for the responsibilities of adulthood and parenthood. Throw a fledgling marriage into the mix, and you've got a recipe for disaster.

    My parents married young and divorced in ten years. The same with two of my aunts, one uncle, a cousin, and four friends. All divorced. My stepsister married young, and they have filed for divorce three different times, only getting back together because they want to stay together for the baby. All together, I know of at least 30 couples who married young and are divorced or will end up divorced.

    Now, not all are like that. My other sister married young and they are perfectly suited to each other. They were mature, out on their own and in their careers already, and they work well together. Two other couples I know are the same. And me and my guy, while not married, are in our mid twenties, after being together for five years, and I doubt that our eventual marriage will end in divorce. So some couples can make it. But notice the difference: over 30 to 4. Those are bad odds, period.

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  • Not too long ago while waiting to get my hair done, I was reading an article in a magazine talking about this exact subject. The consensus was that marriages of couples between 18 -25 that (READY) 90% end in divorce within 2 yrs. Is that sad?

    I am part of this age group so I am included, but we are a spoiled generation. We've been raised without responsibility. We find a guy, the sex is good, we mistake that for love, get married, then find out wow nobody told me all this other crap went with marriage.

    Next just sit and think for just one minute! How selfish are we today? We have been spoiled to the point of thinking all you have to do is want it and it magically appears. NOT SO in real life.

    I'm done! Hope everyone had a great holiday and is ready for a happy New Year

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    • You are so right in the last half of this note: the first half is what "they" want you to think because so much money is made off divorce.

      Truth is as recent as the 1970's it was still horribly shameful to even mention the word divorce, as a matter of fact a famous song spelled it out instead of say it. For the first 180 years of our country the lessons mainly came from the Holy Bible: Math, Science, HIStory, Home and Family Living, Economics, Civics, Animal Husbandry, Culinary Arts, and ....

  • I can speak from experience, recent...I don't know if it will end in till death do us part, or if it will be turmoil and divorce, but I have faith. And faith is believing in what you hope for. So, with that said: My husband and I met in high school. To be honest, I cheated on two of my boyfriends throughout 2 years, and saw him continuously. I felt such a drive to be with him, as we met as often as we could. He was my second guy to be with as I was his second girl. Both of our experiences with losing our v-cards was awful, but with each other, our intimacy was on fire! We spent time sneaking around for two years, until he graduated h.s and moved away. We lost contact as he had a girlfriend in college, and I was still in h.s. But anyways, 5 years pass by. We never spoke again, and I searched for love in all the wrong places. Dated and lived with one guy for 3 years, dated a jerk for 8 months, and a guy who I'm pretty sure will never grow up for 1. So as you can see, I looked, and didn't find what I was looking for...Love. The real kind. Then, as my 21st birthday approached, and I was single, I searched on FB for him, (the high school sweetheart) and BOOM, there he was. I added him and the very next day he called me as I was on my way to see my sister. We talked all night, and then afterwords, while he was at a party, he texted me, "My love for you has gone to the end of the world and to the moon and back, I have never stopped thinking about you." I was shocked at his honesty, and excited about rekindling what we had. He then tells me, that he's planning a trip to Las Vegas, and has no one to go with him, as he's been single for 3 years. So I said yes! Even though I hadn't seen him in 5 years! So 2 months before our big trip we meet in our hometown, which is smack in the middle between where we both live distance wise (2 hours) and went out to a local lake and spent the night drinking and talking, and as I got rather drunk, as I was nervous, I ended up passing out on his shoulder as he drove me home. 3 weeks later, after going to his house a few times, he tells me, I'm the One, and he wants to elope while in Vegas. I say yes, and I now have a wonderful life, and a fabulous survival rate. And the wedding in Vegas was so beautiful, just the two of us, with flowers, a limo, pictures, etc. (there are studies on high school sweethearts re-kindling romances after time spent apart) (not the kind that marry their h.s sweetheart and never date anyone else, that percentage is awful, but also, not always true.) I am positive I have finally realized the wonderful man he really is. Now, we are finally having our reception in our home town, and can't wait to see all of our family and friends together, and to have our first dance..."Arizona" by K.O.L, also, a big note...our first REAL date, was in fact, Las Vegas, and we spent a week there, and we stayed at the Aria, it was beautiful. And for our bachelor/bachelorette party we saw Zumanity. Sexy!

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  • I think they can. Back in the day the majority of marriages were during that age, being older than that was uncommon; and that was before the divorce rate jumped up. Its just become more uncommon now because of pressure like college and career paths, etc that have become expected norm to do first. My parent were married later, late twenties early thirtees, and got divorved after 18 years versus plenty of couples I know in my extened family or church that were marreid much younger and are still going strong.

    I think the reason its higher in that age group now is simply because divorce has become more common amlost newly weds period, and there's more people in that age group are available for marrige. People, sadly, seem to see it as a way out rather than work it out a lot of the time, and its just easier to get divorced when you're that young, probably without children just yet, and with time to try again.

    However, I think lasting marriages are possible, just both people have to be willing to work for it.

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  • they can potentially, but it takes something special. I don't know of any marriages. but I know of 2 couple who have exchanged promise rings and have been together for more than a year and are rock solid. then I know another couple who has been together for more than 2 years and it's a bit if-y.

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  • A lot of young people forget that relationships require maintainance. They expect it to turn out like a Disney movie, where you fall in love and everything magically works out for the best. The reality is that there will be problems, and they will have to find a way to work through them.

    It really depends on the people, and their willingness to work at the relationship.

    /rant

    XD

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  • I can't pick any of these answers on the poll since none of them match with what I think...

    My parents got married when they were 20, and they're still happily married for 25 years now. I think it doesn't really matter how old you are, it matters how mature you are and how willing are you to make compromises and sacrifices for something you love to work.

    Everyone is different...

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  • The earlier you get married, the likelier you are to divorce. Discouraging, but true based on statistics.

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  • I heard from statistics that 85% of young marriages end because both people are still growing up and growing into knowing what they out of there lives. and most of the time they decide they not only want they need something diff in there life.

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  • its a fact that the % of them that last is a lot less than the % that don't last

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  • Most of the ones I know ended very soon. I knew about 3 couples that married out of high school, all three ended within 2 years. One of my old grade school classmates is 27 and has already been married twice and I think she's already going on her third marriage.

    Granted, some do work but be careful about it. Marriage is a huge step so think it through before you walk down the aisle.

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  • I do not know of any, but I do know however that a marriage is what you make of it. If you both work together and remeber the vows that they made and keep God first they just might have a chance.

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  • well I guess it all really just depends on the two people that get married.. for ex, my cousing got married when she was 19 and the guy was like 22, they separated just 3 months after the wedding. And then, my grandparents got married when my grandmother was 17 and my grandfather was 22, they were married for over 54 years, until my grandpa passed. So see, it just goes to show, it all depends on so many diff things of both people involved.

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  • You should put a D as "it depends"

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  • I don't think you can compare it to when your grandparents were kids, because it was diffrent times, now I really don't think they work, people don't get what they want these days, so they think well we should just get married, but marriage isn't always the answer

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  • my grandparents got married at 18 and are still married

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  • i know this was a month ago but why is every choice negative?

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    • Because marriage is hard work regardless

    • I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 25, believe it or not. that was 20 years ago and we're still together. it's been hard. I thought my husband was all I needed to be happy and that put a burden on him to try to make me happy. you have to have your own dreams and successes to be truly happy, whether before or during marriage. any marriage is hard work. personally, I was immature at 18 and wish I would have taken things a lot slower, couldve saved myself some trouble if I had waited a little.

  • i married at 16 he was 20. we lasted 6 years. we grew apart. we grew up and became different ppl. I wouldn't reccomend it.

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