Never get married, that's the moral of the story?

I got a lecture today from one of Canada's best known Criminal Justice profs. He was only there for a bit of a motivational speech but he touched into how men need to be careful about protecting their money and he was super blunt about it. He said if your smart you'll realize with divorce rated rocketing in past decades except the last recession when they "magically" fell, you'll realize marriages are only for women to have financial security so when they get fed up with you which is almost a guarantee they'll probably run off to divorce court just to steal a large chunk of your personal value and half of that hard earned pension when you retire since divorce courts are so extremely biased against men and always take the women's side. He said boys its not a matter of if you'll get divorced its when and how many times... thus guy has not been threw a divorce keep that in mind. Just a little something to think about boys!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • WOW, sounds like somebody was very bitter and poisoned an entire classroom full of people. I'm an instructor as well and I don't go telling the students bitter things about men, etc.

    If it's any consolation, there are guys out there -- like my ex -- who remain jobless and feckless till the end of their days because they found a hard-working woman to dupe into supporting them then petitioned for alimony in the divorce proceedings.

    I remember being young and sweet... and completely gullible when he said, "Take my name, honey. That's what all normal women do..." He was sweet about it at first, but ultimately really pushed for it.

    Sure, along with 50% of everything including your retirement money. It was completely arbitrary in that I was the one with legitimate grounds for divorce. The first judge we had (who was a guy) literally told him to "grow a set" and threw the petition out as invalid, but the ex just kept finding ways to go harpooning for my paychecks because the court system was taking too long to change my name.

    Should I tell women, "Never change your name over..." or "Some guys are con artists"? No! The only thing I can advise is to take a good long look at who you decide to spend forever with. Will you be able to deal with their little quirks and insecurities for the long-haul? Will habits X, Y and Z still be adorable in 10, 20, 30, 50 years down the road? Try to picture it clearly before you commit to moving in with each other, marrying each other, having children together, etc...

    Life's a gamble and the biggest stake you can put up is your heart, not your bank account. You have to make sure you're both on the same page with this sort of thing. Problem is that in today's society divorce is almost expected, so marriage is entered into too lightly.

    Your teacher's point is that you shouldn't enter into a marital union without careful thought. I would, perhaps, have used different words, and certainly not pitched a message like that to a class full of susceptible teenagers on the verge of adulthood!

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What Girls Said 12

  • just because he's a professor in that, he can give an statement of what he sees but influencing whether people actually marry is a social issue. that's why you get to KNOW someone before you marry them. You learn more about the person and their personality. if all you care about is money, then why marry? Some guys fall in love with the wrong type of girl or the guy isn't ready for marriage. it's more complicated than just statistics on divorce rates.

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    • remember his audience was a upper level university class... he's not talking to a bunch of numbnuts who get married at the age of 19.

    • Indeed but that bunch of numbnuts who get married at the age of 19 are those who fill the statistics.

  • If its of any consolation for you. I recommend women not to marry cause they'll get cheated on. Seriously! Part of being in a relationship is being aware that both parties can injure one another.

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    • women cheat just as much as men, and not only that 30% of children born to couples are not the fathers women cheat and tell her bf/husband its his baby

    • This marriage paranoia is still unfounded. You can get a prenup and though men have to deal with women having kids that are not theirs some women have to deal with outside women getting pregnant with their husbands and demanding child support as well as the man's attention. So really, its not easy both ways and still 50% of the marriages work and the vast majority 70% have the guys kids. We can all be victims to this but then we have to look at it on the bright side as well. Marriages do work

    • money is one thing, raising a kid that's not yours is completely different, some marriages do work, but marriage is not compatible with the way modern women live prior to getting married which is why men are on sort of a marriage strike so to speak

  • Intelligent input.

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  • Sounds like a shallow narcissist idiot to me lol.

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    • i wouldn't be calling a guy with two phds an idiot

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    • lol, well that explains it :P

    • @qa now your contradicting yourself. 2 phds yet a criminal and a drop out? Hmmm

  • after reading your question...and then readin your responses to ppl's answer...u sound like your easily influenced.

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  • I don't think a prof wld say that!But he could be because I have also met profs and when they start talking you wouldn't think they are profs.

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  • ahahaha.. I agree with Toni88.. you really are easily influenced.

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  • what has happened to humanity?

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    • ask your own gender that

    • lol that garbage is not very typical in Canada, most divorces are just because women get fed up with whatever not because of adultry which both parties are equally at fault

    • idk we are all f***ed in the head... look at this video ... link

  • I don't believe in marriage anyway. We are living so long these days and every generation is living longer and longer of course divorce rates are going to go up. How can you not get sick of someone when you spend so many decades together?

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  • That is not a moral of the story. That's just a thought I think.

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  • Get a prenup if you're so concerned. I know many couples who are happily married for years. Why would you listen to what one guy says? I hear about many women in abusive relationships, that doesn't mean I think they're all like that and so I should never get married.

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    • Why would I listen to him? Lets see... two phds... a chief RCMP consultant... multiple award winning author..

    • Lol that means nothing if he's bitter towards women and clearly biased. Both my parents have PhDs and numerous publications in science, neither of them have discouraged me from getting married. Neither have any of their colleagues of equal merit and education.

  • Sounds like a bitter, jaded old man that didn't learn his lesson. People with this kind of outlook in life make me sick. I feel bad but a tiny part of me thinks he probably deserved what was coming. I've seen more men be unfaithful to their wives in my circle of acquaintances. They just up and leave their wives and kids. What a damn shame.

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    • hes pretty young, that hasn't happened to him he just warning us from his studies criminal justice. Personally I don't look at it like its his opnions because what he saying is all based around real statistics and trends

    • Come to think of it, all of the women that I know that have gone through a divorce did so because their husbands cheated on them and ran off with another woman. One of the cases was my aunt and uncle, and he ran off with another man. My neighbor's husband is cheating on her and she has 4 kids with him. She's afraid to divorce him because she doesn't have a job, even though he threatens her. How's that for you?

What Guys Said 8

  • He's right.

    Ask my 1st wife.

    IF you do get married insist on 1 night out with the boys & DON'T be foolish enough to spend it with the boys!

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  • of course, always have a pre nup a girl that won't sign a pre nup is a girl not worth marrying

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  • I've not posted about it here on GAG, but I've spoken to some GAG members on Meebo, and mentioned that that's one of the reasons I don't believe in marriage. Russian Roulette has better odds.

    Iron clad pre-nups if you're still a romantic. Otherwise, to hell with marriage. Until the inequities of the divorce court are changed, and fathers have equal custodial rights to their children by default anyway.

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  • You might as well get married with a prenup before having kids.

    Other then that, its a terrible idea for the higher income partner. Which is often, but not always, the male.

    A lot of things are said, a lot of promises are made, but the only one that is legally binding is the higher income party will keep supporting the lower income party day in day out, even if they separate.

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  • Prenup is the answer but it isn't complete: marry someone you know good enough to be sure he/she can be trusted and marry only after you've been together a few years.

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    • I know I won't marry again: I had luck my first time but why marry then? If we just had continued to live together, unmarried there wouldn't have been any difference.

    • That's not enough.

    • So many things in your life depend on pure luck: being born black or white, in the USA or in Somalia, in a ghetto or in a mansion. Same for marriage.

  • Never base your veiws on one man's opinion, that's the moral of the story..

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    • I agree you shouldn't get married. Don't even have any contact with any women, its for the best

    • Marriage isn't the problem. Divorce is the problem. No marriage, no divorce but you can still have to pay palimony: link .

      HAMLET. Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? link

  • Your professor is a troll and you are too easily influenced.

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  • Given what the divorce rate is... I look at things this way:

    If you were watching couple holdings hands crossing the street and half of them were hit by vehicles... would you want to give it a try?

    I completely agree marriage is a bad investment of time, money and emotions which could better be spent on other things.

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