Opinions of marriage and kids?

personally marriage and kids isn't something that's on my "to do" list. I'm terrified of commitment and id prefer that I don't get married. a piece of paper doesn't matter when it comes to love and kids just ruin peoples lives/body in my opinion(less freedom, time,money and sleep)

so what's your opinion on kids and marriage


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it's not for everybody, but it is for me. I want a woman who loves me in spite of myself and a little girl who thinks the world of me. I want to be the cupboard fixer and sexy man to one and monster-scarer and riding horse to the other.

    I just have to find the right girl, first.

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What Guys Said 15

  • To those who don't like to have kids I'd like to say this...you don't know how precious they are...

    I have no problem with marriage or kids, just that work and finance takes precedence for now...because without a good background how is anybody going to look after them when they both arrive? As to commitment I have no problem with that...so long as I find the right person (as long as my finances in check). But life isn't always about money is it? It's about the opportunity to find someone compatible, and then the commitment into it from there. Only after achieving the first 3 goals will the kids naturally come. I guess that's what makes them precious...

    Personally I find it's a bit of a 'chicken or the egg' situation for me now and probably for anybody else reading this. Yes I would like to have all those things you've mentioned but for most of us it probably hinges on our ability to look after them financially and time-wise - when we are working hard we don't have time for kids (because apart from marriage, having children is a complete full-time dedication).

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  • I would like to get married and have a family. I like JohnnyBlaze's answer. That's pretty much how I'd be too. I'll steal his idea and say a couple of things too haha. I look foward to making those corny "dad jokes" that make everyone groan and roll their eyes, giving big bear hugs, have boys and teach them how to grill and fish, write cute little love letters to my wife, stuff like that.

    I really like this song too... link

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  • Terrified of commitment? Don't be. Love was once defined as "selfishness for two" so instead of being selfish alone you are selfish together . That can cause clashes but that's true for even dating. It's just more long term. It's not for everyone. Another phrase I learned was "Marriage is a mistake that everyone should make." I disagree, but it is a major difference from being single.

    Kids. Great people. In general. My 11 year old is turning into a little sh*t and I wish someone would knock some sense into her but at least I could see it coming. As a baby it's different.

    Babies are awesome. But if you ever thought your significant other was high maintenance, it's noting compared to a baby. You really really have to be ready. I was ready. And I loved it.

    I just wasn't ready for her to go off to school to learn how to be a gutter mouth. The only drawback.

    For both, you HAVE to be ready. There's really no turning back once you get going.

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    • yea those middle school years seem like the worst...this makes me want to home school my kids, but then again they have to experience real life, can't shelter them forever, you can only hope you taught them enough sense to make the right choices..

  • Can't wait for it.

    I know I'll be a great dad :)

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  • its all about what you choose...some people would feel unfufilled without children...if I can you give you a suggestion: get your tubes tied...dont conceive a baby and then abort it. if your not gonna have lids don't play with the lives of innocent babies and allow one to be conceivd just to have you kill it.

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    • i agree I don't want kids but if it happened id either suck it up and keep it or give it up for adoption not abortion

    • ^^^^ this girl has her head on straight

  • As long as 70% of women keep initiating divorce proceedings, I will never marry. The only thing women like more these days than marriage is to jump ship.

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  • I couldn't imagine my life not having kids or not being married

    something I've always wanted

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  • not ready at all for marriage...terrified of kids

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  • I would like to get married and have kids eventually. I would want to do a lot of traveling and stuff that would be almost impossible to do if we had kids. After that is out of the way then have kids.

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  • one day...

    Lord willing..

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  • Marriage yes but I work at a place that lots of families come through. I don't EVER want children of my own. Not ever. I like my own life and quite frankly, I get pissed off when my cat wakes me at 3 AM. Can't imagine I'd be a patient parent

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  • I SO agreed with you when I was your age..but my guess (and it is only that) is that you will change your mind...but definitely don't do either until you are ready...

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  • I've been looking for it, It's my only desire besides materialistic things.

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  • That piece of paper matters when it comes to screwing some guy over and taking everything he worked for while your off on a cruise ship with your rich boyfriend. ;)

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  • Ask Al Bundy. This guy knows

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What Girls Said 26

  • When you're young it's easy to have that mindset. I was also like that till someone said wait till you're older and you might just change and I think there's a lot of truth in that. We are young and we want freedom, that's normal and that's a given but I do believe as we will get older our desire for companionship will increase and wanting kids will also become a desire. I've read about many women who are in their 30's and get a craving for a baby all of a sudden because in a way we are wired to have children, that's one of our basic functions so we may not feel that way right now but I'm sure later on it will be different. I definitely do want to get married. If I fall in love I don't want to just be a girlfriend, I want to be a wife to a man and know that he was ready to make such a big commitment in front of our friends and family and say that's he's willing to take the plunge and be with me till the end. That takes a lot and then I'll know he's truly serious about me. Just being in a relationship is not enough for me emotionally. Obviously right now the thought of committing to one person for such a long time is slightly terrifying, when the time is right and I have fallen in love I'd want that for sure

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    • not every woman wants that. I have several people in my family both men and women who knew from teenage years that they did not want children and they are in their mid 50-60's and still do not have kids and are happy. I do plan on getting my tubes tied in 6 months. I have met the right guy for me but its not enough to give him a child. marriage maybe yes in a few years but definitely not kids.

  • look there are pros and cons, that is forsure, good days, bad days, etc, but if you don't spread your seed what is the purpose of life? What do you have to look forward to? That's at least how I think of it, although I know I CAN be happy on my own, I just want to get the most outta life and my experience here on earth, some think kids can take away from that but I believe they add to it. Kids let you tap into a different part of your brain, it hard to describe, but they can teach you a lot, kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for, they are brilliant and it is beautiful seeing the cycles of life and watching them grow and learn and growing with them. Life isn't about how beautiful or successful you are but the people your inspire and the lifes you touch, the deep human connections you share... For me to have kids I would want a stable environment, a strong relationship with my bf/husband(I have the same opinion on marriage... maybe once it meant something, but today weddings are all show and are meaningless, and I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love)

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  • The thing about marriage is that is is up to the couple involved to set the rules change them to suit what pleases them.. Period. I am married and we are best friends I want a child because I am a very motherly nurturing person. I believe it is necessary for a child to have two parents because it takes two people to make one and evidently two parents would be best to raise them( this is not a must but a +) sure commitment scares the hell out of me too but nothing scare me more than wandering through life with a different man at every segment no commitments..That's SCARY to me. The man I have I believe wil love me for life. Even if we do change the dynamics of our relationship. My body is personal. I feel special because only 1 man gets to see it.

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  • I don't really want kids but on the other hand, I would like to get married. For me it signifies the ultimate committment between two people, that they want their union to be legally recognised.

    I definitely don't think marriage should be rushed into either.

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  • I'd like it, but I'm still on the fence. I haven't met many men who would be what consider a good father. Thankfully, my boyfriend atm seems like he would be a great father. but who knows, I haven't put too much thought into it.

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  • lol I'm married with kids already and its my world.. I can't imagine my life without it honeslty. even though I'm so young apparently to some people they think I'm too young but love is love even though I'm only 17.

    hi I'm kait,

    im 17,

    married,

    and I have a set of triplets.

    :D

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  • I totally want to get married. I honestly think it's the sweetest thing to have a guy love you enough to want to completely commit to you. And I love kids, I know a lot of people think they're annoying but I think they're great and I think it'd be so cool to have someone love you whole heartedly and just think the world of you.

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  • I personally want to be married and have kids. I know it's not for everyone, but I believe in love and all that good stuff. I'm a very nurturing person, and I look forward to finding someone who I love and loves me back for the rest of my life, but I want to have a career too!

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  • I have always said I would love to get married but I am not sure anymore. It seems like marriage is just filled with heart ache like everything else in the world. The fear of divorce gets to me. Splitting assets and breaking up kids lives. I used to believe in happily ever after but now it seems so far fetched. The amount of married men some of my friends have dated. I can't imagine being their oblivious wife. You think your man is faithful like you are and he isnt. I can't live with that. I am afraid of it now.

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    • not to mention the fact that one of my sister's friend died of AIDS because her unfaithful husband couldn't keep it wrapped. How do you tell your husband to wrap it up all the time and get tested over and over. that's kind of ridiculous, no one really wants to have to do that.

  • Hmm well when I was your age I thought that's what I wanted-to be married w/kids. It wasn't. Been married twice and have decided it's not for me(unless I meet THE guy-but even then..).

    And as far as kids go..yes,it 'sometimes' changes your body-but not mine;-)

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  • I want to do both, eventually. The official piece of paper isn't that important to me, that's more of a formality. But I'm totally down with the committed relationship part. And I believe kids enhance life more than take away from it. I think of it as devoting time to something more important and long lasting than whatever else you'd be spending dollars and freetime on. It's its own type of adventure I want to take on.

    And I want to be a BA grandma when I'm oldish. Need kids first though :P

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  • Uhh...

    Only with this one person.

    Soon as I met him, I wanted to marry and have his child. After things happened and we couldn't be together anymore,

    I don't want to marry, I don't want biological children ever,

    I'll adopt, but I won't have my own.

    For reasons unknown, I just FEEL, that I could never love a biological child as much as an adopted one..

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  • I don't know about kids. That adolescent phase is a little intimidating. Not to mention, I'm still concerned as to how a baby is supposed to come out of me. It's a scary thought... I don't think I'd mind having just one. Much later of course. I would like to get married someday. And stay married hopefully.

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  • marriage yes, kids no err perferably not but even with protection accidents can happen

    im all for love and commitment but thinking about my family and how terrible my cousins are I'm afraid my child will be a demon spawn and I don't handle bratty kids well. I was raised on listen to my mommy or you get smacked and I damn well listened to my mother but people nowadays consider that child abuse and I don't want people in my buisness of how I raise a child so I rather avoid having one.

    plus I am skinny and I doubt my hips are child bearing hips so yea... I rather not get ripped or cut open yea

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  • I can't wait! Of course, I don't want it to happen for a long time but yeah, eventually I want it all. I love kids now, so I can only imagine what I'll be like when they're MY kids. I've been told by people that I'll make a great mom some day so..here's hoping :)

    I used to think like you, particularly about marriage, but I guess people change and so do their opinions!

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  • I wouldn't mind getting married someday but I'm still uncertain about how I feel about having kids.

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  • Its not for everything, but marraige is needed in our society.

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  • I am getting married and having kids. As soon as I turn at least 24 I'm going to do that.

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  • I want marriage and babies so badly it hurts.

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  • When a guy sweeps you off your feet you may have a different opinion. I would love to get married and have kids :)

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  • yeah it all sounds scary

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  • i'd like both.

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  • Marriage requires commitment which in this day and age is probably non existent.

    marriage itself is a very beautiful institution.Kids require selflessness...and for both you need good integrity and sense of responsibility which is getting rarer. I know that both teach you valuable things in life. And I truly belive that todays generation leads a very superficial life- and I am one them.

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  • i feel the SAME way about children, I'm never havin any, but I do wanna get married someday.

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  • I want to get married and have kids but the problem is to find the right man. Everything would seem easier when you're with the right guy :)

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  • I used to want to get married and have kids and all that junk, but now I'd rather not. I think marriage is great and kids are awesome, but I'd be better off on my own devoting myself to other important things.

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