Six months ago my husband hired a guy to work for our company and I find him extremely attractive (physically and otherwise) the more I get to know him. It feels like an electric shock whenever I am around him and I’m certain he feels it too as he acts very shy when I am around when otherwise he would not. At first he did all the classic things like smile and look down at the ground when he would talk to me, fidget a lot when I’m around, his hands would shake when I would ask him for help doing things. Some days he will talk to me easily and other days it seems he avoids me or can’t wait to leave the room. I will often catch him looking at me and he will quickly look away. The more I talk to him and get to know him the more I see his personality is very similar to mine (completely opposite from my husband) which doesn’t help the attraction I feel toward him.
One day my husband came home from work and told me shy guy called me a bitch (in a joking manner) but I got so upset my husband told me he was just kidding. So I texted shy guy for the first time and told him what my husband said and shy guy told me it was a lie and that we would get him back for being an ass. A couple of days later shy guy went out of his way to catch me alone outside and he brought up the fact that we had to get my hubby back and we shared with each other how his constant comments irritate us. He told me my husband has been on his ass a lot lately and he’s sick of it (he said this angrily) and I agreed we would get him back somehow. Our conversation was about our feelings which made me feel like we were really bonding and that he trusted me to share with me his frustrations with my husband.
After that day he went back to acting shy around me. Recently I asked all the guys to join me for lunch and shy guy sat next to me in the back seat of the truck and another guy sat on the other side of me so we were in very close quarters and I could literally feel the tension. It was so intense I can't even describe it. Shy guy kept fidgeting with his bottle of water and kept drinking from it and hardly said anything to anyone while I kept the conversation going with the other guy next to me. At the restaurant my husband made a rude comment to shy guy and I stuck up for shy guy and told hubby it wasn’t nice and then my husband told all the guys that I don’t like him giving shy guy a hard time. After that comment shy guy started opening up and talking and we both ganged up on my husband when he would say annoying or stupid things. We shared some flirty smiles because obviously we were the only two who had the private conversation about how rude my husband can be and it was like a secret we shared.
At any rate, I’m obsessed with him. Please read comment below for more info on my problem...
Most Helpful Girl
The larger issue is not your feelings for this new guy, but the issues you clearly have in your relationship. It is very possible you are using how you feel with this new guy to compensate for what you are lacking in your marriage. Honestly, your attention should not be on shy guy, it should be on how to either resolve the issues in your marriage or if you want to be in your marriage any longer. If you've tried to work things out with your husband and he won't take the time to work with you in how to mend the problems, then maybe it is time to get out. However, if you leave your husband, it should be because you don't feel about him the way you once did and you're not happy. Do not leave him because of another guy. Even if you aren't happy with your husband, at least respect the marriage you committed to enough not to end it for some other guy. Work on forgetting about this other guy, no good can come of it, then refocus your attention on your marriage and whether you feel it is worth trying to save or whether you should just cut your losses and leave him.1