OK so I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. The problem is he's just recently started looking at other women and noticing certain females. Like the other day he called a girl his. She made his coffee and he says my little brunette made it for me. I told him that hurt me so he knew. He also goes on match.com everyday. Now he can't email them or anything but he can look at them and wink at them. He goes in and rates the matches of the day. I have told him how it makes me feel but he still does it. He even has very recent info on it and that he is divorced.Even he has changed he spend very little time with me and if I ask him to watch a movie with me I get blown off. He is not affectionate and our sex life is horrible. He gets everything I get nothing. When I cry he doesn't seem to care. I wrote him a poem that took me 5 months to write and when I gave it to him Yeah thanks is all he said. No hug no kiss no nothing. He doesn't even buy me flowers on our anniversary or Valentine's day.He tells me he loves me and doesn't want me to go yet I can't believe him anymore. And I no longer trust him around females. And sad to say I really do not like women anymore because of all this. He even makes comments on me hooking up with a girl which I have told him many times that I am not Bi. Yet every time he sees two girls together on the internet he makes a comment. Now let me say this I am 29 and he is 42. In the beginning of our relationship he told me he wanted to marry me and that I'd wear his mom's ring and we'd have it fitted to my finger. Now he doesn't want to ever get married again. Please help me I don't understand what's happening.
He doesn't want to ever get married again?
What Guys Said 2
Sounds like he's acting ignorant and being heartless. I think that his age is the problem here, believe it or not. It is pretty common among men after the age of 40 (and women after 50), however, the reasons behind it and the solutions for it are not agreed on. Some people say that it's a compensation for his adolescence, and some say it's because he's trying to deny the fact that he's getting old.
The stress at work, or at home, the pressure from life, and some other factors cause something called "Emotional apathy". He starts feeling like his whole life is a tedious routine and he tries to renew that by acting like a 20 years old guy, neglecting other people's feeling (esp. his spouse and children). "Love" becomes a meaningless word, he starts seeing himself as the victim, no matter how nice you are to him and how hard you try to please him, he just ignores it. He will even change the kind of people he usually sits with or talks to. You will notice that he's become a totally different man.
Now don't blame yourself, trust me, it's not because of you. This could be caused by emotional emptiness, lack of self-esteem, or self-confidence problems. Psychologists say that he starts looking for something to retrieve his self-efficacy. And this is why you see most old men dating a very young lady, as if they are trying to prove that they are capable of scoring a hot, young girl just unlike other men at his age.
Your boyfriend's actions revolve around the reasons I have mentioned. I know this much because my father went through the same phase so I had to look it up. You are young and you sound like a very emotional person, if you don't think you can handle it for some time (hoping that he'd go back to his senses soon), then you must put an end to this, otherwise it will turn into your worst nightmare. I don't usually motivate separation, I prefer people to talk and discuss things for quite some time, before they make such a decision. However, in your case, be careful ! Because he might destroy your confidence and make you feel guilty for things you have NOT done. So, yeah, I agree with the other guy who said "he's being a douchbag", but I wanted to support this idea with some reasoning and common sense.
Best of luck. (:0
He's a douchebag. Leave him.0
What Girls Said 0
No girls shared opinions.
Select as Most Helpful Opinion?
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.