She's 50, I'm 53. She lives with ex-lover, he's 72, has nice home, she's a minimum wage worker & former lifelong drug user, recently (20 months) delivered from addiction, we're engaged & after 9 months together, she still has me pick her up around-the-corner from his house, and hides her engagement ring when she's in his house (says she does this out of respect, obviously not respect for me or us), won't move in with me or accept a rent free room somewhere else, we used to go out 7 nights, now she only wants to go to church and bible study together, she hasn't told her sister that we're engaged yet after being so for 7 months, says that her ex is hardly ever there, and that he spends most nights with his new lover, never introduces me to people she knows when we run into them in public, says that she is in love with me and wants to spend her life with me. She seems obsessed with continuing to stay there, when I threatened to leave, she made veiled reference to "something she was involved with before she met him, and that's how she met him, and that she was still involved with it after she met him", but won't say any more about it? Any guesses? Guess I'm nuts, huh?
Most Helpful Girl
To be honest this just sounds like you've been caught up in a very dramatic situation. Are you sure you really care about her or are you addicted to the drama? It can happen to the best of us.
Her hiding you is very very wrong and disrespectful. You shouldn't stand for it nor should you stand for her not telling you everything. If she's really in love with you and planning to spend the rest of her life with you she should be open and honest and tell you everything. And she should absolutely NOT want to stay with her ex.
If I were you I would try my hardest to remove my emotions and look at this from an outside view. You would see that it makes no sense. Hopefully you have the courage to see that and make a change.0