I want to marry my current boyfriend, how should I bring it up?

We've been together for 8 months and I know, beyond a doubt that this is the man that I want to share my life with. I'm not being naive here either, I really, truly know that this is the real deal.

We're only 19, and we haven't gotten our lives settled yet, should we wait or go for it? Also, how should I start a conversation about it without seeming intimidating?..

I don't need to get married immediately, but I want to at least discuss it with him.

Updates:
I'm definitely past the infatuation thing, and he has already brought up marriage a few times.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he has already brought it up, then the ice is broken and you can easily bring it up again. I still agree with the others...wait, please wait to actually get married. Talk about it? Yes...definitely, but don't do it till you are both past 25. I have no doubt that you are past the infatuation stage; but people really do change ALLOT by the time they get to 30. Yes, I know that sounds so far away, but you will be there before you know it. I could count on BOTH hands the number of people who married young and now have out grown their spouse. They are either married and miserable or divorced (usually with kids). Many of then put off college for family and now are 40 and working for not much more than minimum wage and always the first to go in a layoff. It is a hand-to-mouth, miserable existence made worse when they see their old friends...who did go to college ...now working a well paying career, living comfortably while they have to choose between rent and getting their beater car fixed (again) and Christmas presents for their kids.

    If it is love, it WILL last then next 6 or so years.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Tell him you think "he's the one" BUT you want to wait at least 6 years to find out. Why 6? Humanbeings brains are not fully mature until about 25 yrs. Up to that age emotions can easily cloud judgment. ( this is known by auto insurance companies, which is why rates drop after age 25)



    If it is love, it will be around in 6 if more years. Divorce courts are full of 30/40-something who got married before age 25.

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    • Oh...and notice what the other guys are saying? We're all saying the same thing, just a bit differently..



  • Just pop the question. No, not THAT question, but this one:

    "If you were to get married, what are you looking for in a wife?"

    There you have it. Topic broached.

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  • Wait for it, if he's the right guy for you, you'll have plenty of time and it might just scare him off. Realistically, talking about marriage with guys at that age probably won't make them feel any more like they are obliged to continue the relationship than if you are simply dating. If you are going to go about, you can try by kind of in a cute way snuggling up to him or something saying something like "lets get married" in a semi-joking way or "we can do this all the time when we are married" etc. Being forward with it, will probably just risk unnerving him.

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  • i would say to avoid it. don't pressure him or make him feel like its going too fast. your still young, and in the grand scheme of things, you haven't been together THAT long.

    its perfectly fine to feel that way,and he may very well feel it too. but no need to put that kind of pressure on it yet

    enjoy being 19 for now.

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  • I would not discuss something like that for two reasons. 1. You're both probably really infatuated with each other at the moment and 2. You're both only 19. There are so many things that will change by the time you're 22 or 23. If someone started talking to me seriously about marriage when I was 19 I would have been really stressed out with a lot of anxiety. That conversation after dating for 8 months will seem intimidating no matter what. I am not one to tell someone what to do, but if it were me I'd wait until I was at least 22 - 23 before I would even think about it. Personally I have no desire to get married prior to 26, but that's just me.

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    • My apologies then, if he brought up the subject a few times and you feel the same then I say speak your mind about the topic.

  • He's too young for that kind of commitment, give it some time. You guys need to get your lives straight before you go for it.

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  • Don't do it. Just don't do it.

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  • wait

    you're 19

    go for engaged not marriage

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What Girls Said 2

  • When he does something cute or you goes are cuddling and watching a romantic movie together just look at him and be like, "Baby you're the guy I wanna be with the rest of my life". or something sappy like that. But not like you want an answer. Just say it like you're letting him know. see where it goes from there.

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  • Ask him what he thinks of the idea. Then don't discuss it further for now if he doesn't say any more.

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