Taking his last name, thoughts?

Not that I'm getting married any time soon, and it doesn't apply to me (yet lol)

Girls-thoughts on taking your future husbands (or current) last name? is it something you feel is important? would you keep yours? why?

Guys-How important is it for your future (or current) wife to take your last name? how would you react if she didn't?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think most people who have a problem see it as some sexist tradition, some old timey thing to prove ownership or something. But if you're going to argue that then you shouldn't be getting married at all. Marriage was a way to trade property, because that's what women were and blah blah blah. You can't pick and choose which sexist traditions haven't evolved into something more loving and sweet. If you think that taking on a man's last name is sexist, so is getting married.

    Personally I like the idea of taking on his last name, for a few reasons. First it makes me feel really connected. I also really dislike the whole name hyphenation thing. I mean, what happens when two people with hyphenated names get married, how does that work? Do you F.O.I.L. that sh*t out? It just seems really silly. Take his name or keep your own, the whole hyphenation thing feels impersonal and like you're just trying to make him happy. I have a friend who took her husband's last name and made her maiden name her middle name, which I think is just fine as well. I just hated that stupid double hyphen last name bull sh*t. Take it or don't.

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    • so by that logic, because my ancestors were slaves, I guess I should also give up my rights as an American citizen because I'm actively against slavery? the fact that the legal and political dynamics of the nation and its institutions make no difference - if I'm against something, even if its nature has changed, I should not take part in it at all. that's what you're telling me with this reasoning you have. because marriage today is a very very different legal contract, in western nations anyway.

What Girls Said 10

  • Definitely take his name. I'm very proud of my own last name, which in turn is why I understand how important it is to pass on a family name. It's the man's honor to pass down his father's name to his children. I want to help my husband's family name continue, as I hope my brother is able to keep our family name going.

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  • I would only NOT take it if my name was widely known, but not my face. Which is unlikely, lol.

    I'm not too fond of my father (read: I hate his pathetic guts), so I'm not exactly eager to keep his name if I don't have to. I only haven't legally changed it because that whole process is too hard and expensive x(

    I love my boyfriend endlessly, and hopefully we will one day get married, and on that day I will be proud and honoured to take his name as my own, as another symbol of my devotion and love.

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  • i personally feel that its a sexist tradition, so ill most likely keep my name, and our child will take on both of our last names with a hyphen. I'm no man's property, so I don't need his last name stamped onto me like a label all of a sudden because we love each other and choose to be married.

    im not very traditional in general though.

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  • My boyfriend wants to take my last name instead because his current last name is his fathers. His parents divorced when he was young and he didn't see his father for like 6 years, so he doesn't feel any connection to it.

    Plus, he said that he wants to move to my home country with me so we can live near my parents and I can look after them in their old age. He said having my last name would be more appropriate since we will be living near and spending more time with my family rather than his who are in a different country.

    His willingness to become part of my family really touched me :)

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  • Not that I'm ever getting married...

    but, for me, I have no attachment to my last name... it isn't really mine... so if he really cared, or if I liked his better, I'd change...

    That being said, I've been thinking of changing my name back to what it was... if I did that, I'm not sure I'd change it for him.

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  • Not sure..My dad for some reason wants me to at least hyphenate my name.

    For me, if I love my man..and I am sure I do, if I am marrying him, I would LOVE to have his last name. I would be proud to share his last name and be apart of his family name. lol. I do not know.. I am a romantic ;)

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  • I would not change my name-but it does not matter- id still just be keeping _my_ fathers name. If I kept my mothers maiden name, id be keeping _her_ fathers name. If I took my grand mothers maiden name, id be taking _her_ fathers name etc etc..

    I'd have to belong to the Iroquois , Mohawk, Seneca, Onondaga, Oneida , Tuscarora , Cayuga, Cherokee, Choctaw, Gitksan, Haida, Hopi, Iroquois, Lenape, Navajo, Nairs , Khasi, Jaintia , Garo of Meghalaya, Minangkabau, Akan, Ashanti , Tuaregs , Bunts etc..

    And in all but a few cases trace it back a few hundred years to when my mothers Mothers Mother etc, handed down her name to her Daughter who handed down her name to her children...

    I come from European blood. I can trace my family back for hundreds of years, it will still be my 'fathers' name. At some point in my DNA I suppose, My mothers other was handed down her Mothers name. Too long ago to be traced as family..

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  • Yes, I'm very traditional. But ill take my last name now and move it to be my middle name, so I still have my old last name in my name. so if my name was jenny catherine smith and I married someone with the last name of jones, I would change my name to: Jenny Smith Jones or Jenny Catherine Smith Jones. :) I want to feel connected to my husband and I think having the same last name helps you feel connected. :)

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    • would you still inroduce yourself with alllthose names? or just with his last name but keep the other ones on paper?

      what my family did was pass the female last name through the kids or grand kids middle names

    • uh, no. I would just introduce myself with his last name and keep the other ones on paper.

      yeah our family does the same thing. my middle name is my great grandma's last name:)

  • I think it depends on the last name. Personally, I love my last name. And if my husband's last name is something crazy, (Pinkleton), then I will probably keep my dad's last name. :)

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  • I think it's nice to have the same name, so I would take his name unless it's something really weird.

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What Guys Said 0

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