Cost of the rings vs saving money for the future.

I've been reading through questions about wedding rings. I noticed a lot of women said they'd be fine with any symbol as long as it was given with love. However, I was reading these in questions from people who didn't have the money to buy an expensive ring.

I also read the whole two/three months salary requirement.

So here' s my question. The guy makes a good amount of money, enough that two/three months salary would probably buy one nice ring. However, the guy wants to save for the future i. e. retirement, a house, a new car, etc. He knows the ring is important, but also sees the value of spending his money to provide for her, and himself, once they are married. So instead of buying the expensive ring, he buys her one that's still nice, but not the two/three month salary price.

Would this say he's just cheap or would the fact he's thinking more about the future and providing for her make up for the less expensive ring?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I love that you are thinking about your future. When my husband and I first got married we didn't have a lot of money so we got simple, matching bands. A few years later when we were both more stable and successful he offered to replace the band with a beautiful, 2 carat princess cut ring, the one I had always wanted but for some reason I didn't want it anymore. Over the years the simple band had started to have meaning. It was on my finger when our car broke down and we had to walk home two hours in the rain. It was on my finger when he held my hand through my grandmother's funeral and my best friends wedding. Somewhere along the line I started to see my husband when I looked at that simple band and it will kill me if I wake up one morning and it's not on my finger.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I personally think that's great! But I'm sort of weird...I just want twisty ties from Giant Eagle for my engagement ring and my wedding ring will be a tattoo(done by my brother)...if you really love this women you're with, you'll know if she's more materialistic or not...I think that since it's from you heart it doesn't really matter how expensive it is.

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  • My fiance bought a ring that was not anywhere near the 2-3 month salary rule and it is beautiful and I love it. I wouldn't want anything else. I think it was important that he picked it out himself and he took it upon himself to ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. Its a ring. When did the amount of money you spend equate to how much you love someone, and how much you want to be with them? I mean, don't go out and buy the cheapest thing you can find when you can easily afford more, but get something that fits her and reminds you or her, no matter what it costs. People get so caught up in these spending rules and it becomes more about how expensive the ring is than the question it was bought to help ask.

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  • I don't think it should matter how much a guy spends on an engagement ring. As long as it won't turn my finger green, I'm good. Besides, why would a guy need to tell his fiance how much he spent on it? I would think it's like a any other gift - don't ask/don't tell how much it cost. As long as the guy picks out something he knows his fiance will like, then there should be no problem.

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    • The cost of the ring sometimes comes up when the wife is getting it appraised for insurance. I agree, it isn't something normally told.

  • try going to an antique shop and finding something pretty there...those rings have a lot of history and I think that using one as a wedding or engagement ring is a good symbol of, "we can make it through anything"

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  • If she truly loves you - she wouldn't care for the ring - me - I seriously don't like diamonds but it still would be a nice thought from my fiance to shower me with expensive gifts because I know that's how much his love is for me but never buy me those stupid useless things. Diamonds may be forever, they're rocks that can demolish into thin air in a million years or so but love is eternal - it never dies and always stays with you. Just think what kind of girl you have and see what she likes. I really like what bugginmint said.

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  • I'm probably not the best one to answer, because if it were me, any ring would be wonderful. But my boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and I'm more than ready!

    However, a ring is far from the most important thing in a relationship. You're correct, providing for the future is much more important. Though, it is important to get something that she will like...she's going to be the one wearing it. Think about getting her a ring that could always be upgraded later. I think most jewelry stores do this. That way, you could set a little bit of money aside throughout the year(s), and then on an anniversary or other special occasion, upgrade the ring to something that might suit her more. It not only saves you money now, but will make a nice (and fairly easy) gift for the future.

    By the way, if she really loves you, it will only matter that she knows you want to spend your life with her.

    Good luck and Congratulations! :)

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  • I never want a ring that costed 2 or three months salary! I've found a few rings that would be PERFECT, for under $80! I don't like diamonds, so that cuts costs, and I am really not fond of gold either, so... there we go.

    So if he had a good job, and wanted to save up, then fine. Get me one of those under $100 rings I want, buy me dinner at the Buffet, and I'm good to go!

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  • The ring size is not too important to some girls but just for your info there is a web site called JTV that sells real jewelry at cheap prices and there is also an auction site called steal it back.com where you can get great deals on huge stones. Good luck.

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  • If the girl loves you she will love the ring... but you also have to thinking about that she will have that ring for the rest of her life... think about it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think diamonds are for gullible people, its just a giant marketing campaign. I'd much rather have a down payment on a house or new furniture than a sparkly chip. Ooh it sparkles, heres my life savings! I think you have the right idea. Don't skimp but make a budget that makes sense. Does your bride-to-be feel the same way?

    2-3 month Salary Requirement? Thats another marketing gimic to part you with your hard earned cash. And I think you are thinking about engagement rings? Never heard of a "rule" for wedding bands. Anyway, I don't know anyone that spent that much. Maybe 1 month tops. I'd buy according to what seems reasonable up to 1 carat. Don't expect to spend less than a grand or 2. I wouldn't spend more than 5. You can always upgrade the stone later for an anniversary if you want.

    I was fortunate enough to have a grandmother leave me an engagement ring to give. Sometimes these family heirlooms are even better in a way. Some people would feel differently. Any options there?

    As for the wedding rings, I wouldn't pay too much more for the market price of gold (or whatever) by weight. Some designers you are paying for the name (or store). And if you are rough on your hands you, at least, will want something 14k or in 3 months it will look like you took a grinder to it. My wife picked out a beautiful all gold wedding ring (no diamonds) for under $200. Mine was more but I have big hands and needed a custom order. She was thrilled and still is. Its like when people ask how to tell if wine is good. Do you like the way it tastes? Yes? Then its a good wine. End of story.

    -Shop around, don't buy the first place you stop. Don't let a jeweler pressure you.

    -Don't reveal your budget. Just steer your way to what interests you

    -Tell them you are getting prices for your wedding budget that's a year or so from now. No pressure...

    -Beware jewelry with letter code pricing or no pricing. They play it by ear (and screw you).

    -If buying diamonds, get a diamond buying guide, its worth every penny. If you sound like you know what you are talking about you won't get screwed as bad.

    -If you put diamonds on top of sugar (bring sugar packets and pour it on a napkin) they reveal their true color. Literally.

    -Don't be afraid to haggle prices. Make an offer. They don't care about charging you too much.

    -Get a gem report for stones over $1500-$2000.

    -Remember these are not an investment that you will sell for profit later. The idea is to use buying tips to save money if you can and above all be happy with what you get.

    You're not cheap, and in my opinion any girl that thought so I wouldn't want to be with. Which is not to say I wouldn't provide and spoil her in other ways. Good luck.

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    • Actually this is in the planning stages. I wanted an idea on how much to save so I didn't have a huge hole in my budget after buying the ring. I'm very cautious with my money and generally don't buy big purchases spontaneously. Thanks for the advice.

    • FYI, "Diamond Ring Buying Guide" by Renee Newman is a good one to get. $10-15 investment will save you hundreds easily. Maybe get a cheap Jewelers eye loupe too. (magnifier) Sales people shit when you whip out your own. lol. Dress sharp too.

  • I would say as long as you don't blow the money on alcohol or video games or something, and you let her know that you're doing it so you can give her security and better quality of life, then she will be fine with it.

    Just my opinion.

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  • Go cheap if she loves you she will know that you are trying to save for your future together!!

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