Yesterday my therapist told me that love like that is rare.Maybe it is wishful thinking but I think there is only a couple people in the world that you love. I do not think that love always lets people choose their partners. I would like to hear, what you think love is.
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
- MaybeVote C
- Not SureVote D
Most Helpful Girl
I think soul mate is a silly idea perpetuated by movies to sell tickets or in romance novels. I have probably felt more soulfully connected during the honeymoon phase with any number of my relationships than I have over time in a long-term relationship/marriage.
Personally I think to have a soul mate you need to be one and to me that implies that both parties really have to be pretty solid people themselves, people that have it together and are without any number of negative qualities and baggage that lead us to lose our patience or otherwise be less than nice to the people that are closest to us, including our spouse.
I for one have baggage. I am overly sensitive to things that stem back to my dysfunctional relationship with my father. A therapist told me once, when I was discussing issues with my then current partner, that the anger I had was too strong for it to really be due to my partner and that it was actually from my past. It was kind of weird to consider, but she was right. And, I wish just knowing stuff like that was enough to fix it, but it isn't. I will probably always have something in me that is sensitive to what I went through as a child.
My husband has baggage. He had an equally difficult upbringing with issues from both his parents. It affects our marriage. He has worked on it, but it will likely always color his view on relationships as hard as he tries to make it go away.
So, I think the ideal of soul mate is two people that really can always have each others' back and be there for each other through thick and thin in a very nice, sweet way, and honestly that is just asking too much. I think people can stand up for each other, but we just won't always be sweet while we do it.0