For everyone that is married, do you believe your spouse is your soul mate?

Yesterday my therapist told me that love like that is rare.Maybe it is wishful thinking but I think there is only a couple people in the world that you love. I do not think that love always lets people choose their partners. I would like to hear, what you think love is.

  • Yes
    27% (3)54% (7)42% (10)Vote
  • No
    18% (2)15% (2)17% (4)Vote
  • Maybe
    36% (4)0% (0)17% (4)Vote
  • Not Sure
    19% (2)31% (4)24% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think soul mate is a silly idea perpetuated by movies to sell tickets or in romance novels. I have probably felt more soulfully connected during the honeymoon phase with any number of my relationships than I have over time in a long-term relationship/marriage.

    Personally I think to have a soul mate you need to be one and to me that implies that both parties really have to be pretty solid people themselves, people that have it together and are without any number of negative qualities and baggage that lead us to lose our patience or otherwise be less than nice to the people that are closest to us, including our spouse.

    I for one have baggage. I am overly sensitive to things that stem back to my dysfunctional relationship with my father. A therapist told me once, when I was discussing issues with my then current partner, that the anger I had was too strong for it to really be due to my partner and that it was actually from my past. It was kind of weird to consider, but she was right. And, I wish just knowing stuff like that was enough to fix it, but it isn't. I will probably always have something in me that is sensitive to what I went through as a child.

    My husband has baggage. He had an equally difficult upbringing with issues from both his parents. It affects our marriage. He has worked on it, but it will likely always color his view on relationships as hard as he tries to make it go away.

    So, I think the ideal of soul mate is two people that really can always have each others' back and be there for each other through thick and thin in a very nice, sweet way, and honestly that is just asking too much. I think people can stand up for each other, but we just won't always be sweet while we do it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Soul mate", I don't know about that, but my wife and I have a solid relationship. The real key is communication, trust and sometimes a little hard work. Every relationship hits rough patches and it is how you deal with them that define the relationship. I can say this about my marriage, we are the couple that friends "think" are "soul mates". The reality is we are each others best friend and we work at our relationship.

    To answer your question about love... Love is that person that will drive you crazy and make you madder than anyone is able to, but you also know you can not live without. Love will make you think and do irrational things. Love will make you go to Hell and back and not think twice. And in my case love made me decide to settle down, grow up and make a commitment.

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  • maimonides defines it as "the feeling you get when you focus on the virtues of others". Based on this you can learn to love anyone. The problem is with western civilization people are led to believe that you see someone and fall in love. This is false you see someone and become infatuated. It takes years of hard work to love someone. Noah weinberg said "if you believe that you FALL in love you'll fall out of it just as easily".

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  • Why no "not married, want to see results" option? :|

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    • Because the question title is is directed to MARRIED people. I wanted to see the results too though.

    • ya, people need to realize people still wanna see results lol. Even if the question is aimed at one very narrow specific group, there should still be an option to see results. Though, by the way, I think poll options really should have that tacked on by default.

  • I have had two marriages, and at this point, I don't think either was even close to being my soul mate.

    Maybe I felt that way for the first year of my second marriage, but definitely not now. I agree that it's completely rare. If this marriage ends, I don't think I would ever bother with marriage again.

    One time I did feel like I found a soul mate, and it was a magical but brief time. I pissed her off and she dumped me, which was one of the hardest breakups of my life.

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What Girls Said 6

  • If there is only ONE person for you in the entire 7 billion people on this planet, what are the chances they live in the same city as you? Unlikely.

    There are many people you could form a successful marriage with. It can't be just one or else divorce would never happen.

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  • Ha, rarely, seeing the divorce rate these days.

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  • Married my boyfriend when I was really young. No I don't think he's my soul mate though I felt very close to him at the time. I think I wasn't mature enough, and he still isn't, he's still growing and changing. I didn't know things about him that you would only find out if you lived with him alone. And he was abusive towards me. so def not my soulmate.

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  • Soul mate is such a strong word

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  • I'm not sure what love is, except that if you really truly loved someone you would be able to lay down your life for that other person and value their life over yours. Their happiness over your happiness etc.

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  • I'm not married but I do believe that my boyfriend is my soul mate and I want to marry him some day.

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