How important is a marriage?

Two different questions for the females and males

Males:

Do you think marriage is important? What do you see marriage as or your reason of getting married?

Females:

If your boyfriend isn't keen on marriage, will you still want to be with him?

Updates:
omggg some men are just selfish to think that marriage is nt important. OK girls will lose out. I mean just think of this, if the girl is already old and her partner thinks that the marriage is not important, choose to be in a relationship when he can dump her at any chance to be with a younger girl, why is she being selfish to consider about how important marriage is. Guys fear of marriage because if anything happen, they know they can't run. Cowards!
ughh hate the society now. where are the guys who aren't fear of a long time commitment. to promise that he will love this girl forever. more and more guys are getting coward.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its important to have similar goals in life, such as children (or no children). Its important to have interests in common, such as travel. If you want to be in a long-term committed relationship, you need to find someone with the emotional maturity to put their needs secondary to the needs of the couple and family. You also need space within the relationship to self-actualize, although, this will have to wait if you start having children. Do you need marriage on top of all this? Clearly, no. But consider this, gathering your friends and family and publicly stating your commitment and plans to be together forever, you are forcing yourself to really consider the gravity of the promise you're making to another person. Marriage is helpful too, for inheritance, property ownership, etc, so there are practical considerations as well. Oh, and love, that's part of it too, but realistically, not the most important part, and your feelings will change over time, from the initial infatuation and sexual attraction, but hopefully to a deeper and ultimately more rewarding level of commitment.

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    • Wow! You have the intellectual capacity of a dead cockroach. Read a few books, write a few practice essays and come back after.

What Guys Said 18

  • - Do you think marriage is important?

    Yes. I think marriage matters when you want to raise children in a healthy, stable environment. Marriage is also a promise to be together and an ultimate sign of affection - nobody has cancelled that part, never mind the changing tastes, tax laws, etc.

    - What do you see marriage as or your reason of getting married?

    1) The way I was raised, if you want to have children with someone, you marry them. That's cut and dry. It's pathetic to knock up some girl and sort of halfway stick around as a "boyfriend dad".

    2) You can tell a girl she's the one for you but when you marry her that's an action that shows you actually mean it. There are many other ways to show affection at a man's disposal, but this one is an ongoing commitment not some trinket.

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    • That's all well and good. But don't forget with that ACTION of marriage you take also comes a binding agreement which can and most likely will majorly screw you in a few years.

  • I think it's important, yes. I want to get married because I want to share my life with the woman I love and raise a family with her.

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  • I'm not in a hurry to get married, no. SOOOO many of my friends have been married, and most have been divorced, and it was UGLY.

    I don't have any problem making a commitment with my girl, and I keep my word, but I don't need the government getting involved in my business, and I don't need a piece of paper to keep me around.

    In fact, I've always told my GFs: "There is the door. If at anytime you don't WANT to be with me, use it. I won't stop you. But if you are here, I want to know that it's because you WANT to be here, and not because you feel like you HAVE to be here." IMO, this keeps a relationship much more open and honest, and we're less likely to take each other for granted, because we are CHOOSING, every day, to be together, and that makes us more likely to work on the relationship.

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    • sh*t my boyfriend thinks the way you do. I feel that it is a problem because that is kind of selfish. It makes the girl feels that you don't cherish her enough to want to commit her for life. Don't you think so?

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    • I'm going to let you in on a little secret: guys can leave anyway! Do you not realize that the divorce rate is over 60%! And every last one of those people were SURE that it was forever, yet that didn't stop them from divorcing.

      My way encourages both people to WORK on the relationship every day and not take each other for granted, because you only stay together for the RIGHT reasons that way. It isn't selfish at all; it's the opposite, actually.

    • Re: your update.

      The problem is that women's groups have pushed the laws so far that marriage is a losing proposition for men; the risks of that legal contract are far greater than the reward. Women win by default in a divorce, and guys get royally screwed.

      So, you can thank other women for making marriage unappealing to men.

  • Marriage got no meaning if the relationship behind it is wrecked.

    It's just a paper. A tradition. A "signature" that now you're taken "for real"

    People automatically assume that marriage means strong relationship because usually strong relationships end with marriage, but - marriage could NOT magically make a bad relationship better.

    In my opinion, nobody at least in early twenties should rush to marriage, because almost -always- when you're "bound" to something or "supposed to" do something.. "expected" or anything like that.. everything about it becomes bad and sh*tty!

    When dating, everything is good and sweet because then people are not bound together or expected to do anything.. it could anytime spontaneously end.

    And that's why then people make a good effort to prevent their partners from leaving them if they are interested.

    But once you're married - you can't just leave so easy - especially if you are financially tied with your partner or you have a kid... or both at the same time.

    And what happens? Then the people involved stop making any effort.. to themselves, or to the relationship. They'll still be together anyway!

    And that is the very thing what makes marriages sh*tty and men especially to be afraid of them!

    So.. as long as there's good and stable relationship, marriage is totally optional and not necessary.

    In fact - it could even spoil everything!

    I know.. some might say - "..but it's better to see the REAL nature of my partner"

    Trust me - there are some things which should better remain unknown! ..especially if it's about the "real nature" of anybody that is human.

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  • Wherever information gathers, innovation will flourish and scientific progress will accelerate. So, too, in the seduction community – it didn’t take long before its pooled talents had distilled the process of getting into a girl’s pants into very pure and very effective forms. Armed with unprecedented tactical knowledge, players of a new breed never before seen flowed forth into the streets, bars, nightclubs and grocery stores.

    Before the new breed of trained players, women were rendered powerless. The sluts and the shy girls alike fell before the might of the industrially optimized players – right onto their beds with their Birkenstocks in the air.

    Women are slowly starting to wake up to the fact that it’s getting difficult to secure commitment from men any more. Not all of them are ready to face the fact that giving the milk away for free isn’t the greatest way to sell the cow, and even those who face facts can do little about the abundance of free milk available to any man willing to learn Game.

    What women really ought to do if they want to make men commit again is push for the reversal of their original “liberation”, but I’m not holding my breath for that one. What they are doing instead is further shooting their own gender in the foot with dating advice that’ll guarantee a lonely cat-filled future.

    The feminists made their bed, and now their daughters lie in it with men who won’t remember their faces a month and ten more girls later.

    Oh, and if any of the women I refer to as “sluts” here take offense, it’s wholly unjustified, because – haven’t you heard? – “slut” is now an empowering, positive term!

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  • Men get sex without marriage; we can enjoy all the benefits of a pseudo-wife through cohabitation;and we want to avoid divorce and its financial risks. That last one is why most men avoid marriage and will continue to do so until the Family Court system becomes more fair towards men and removes their anti-male bias.

    The marriage strike is purely a MALE project, and must in no way be conflated with any female culture of marriage avoidance. To do so, would bestow upon women a gravitas, and a crown of thorns, to which they are not entitled.

    Women have a lot to gain from marriage, and men have lot to lose -- far more than women do.

    Thanks to feminism, a woman can treat the matrimonial parchment like a tabula rasa, and write the script as she deems fitting. And she can tear it up whenever she wants to, and "make out like a bandit" in her divorce settlement, and drag the children along just like all the other loot she manages to haul away.

    And thanks to feminism, marriage is for men a peonage contract -- at the very best, it is life under a Sword of Damocles; at the very worst, it is a death trap. A man who marries signs his life away to a potential betrayer, one who can lie about him with the law to back her up, one who can reduce him to beggary and destitution, to living in his car, even to a jail cell. Such is the value of male life under the feminist regime.

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  • I feel marriage is important.

    you are committing to someone for life, through good and bad.

    These days marriage is a joke because people rush into marriage and forget what huge commitment it is supposed to be.

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  • I believe in marriage, but I also think it's a sacred bond (no I'm not religious). While it is just a piece of paper, I think it signifies your vow to love and be with that person for the rest of your life. It's like saying "I love you" x1000.

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  • I used to think marriage was important. After seeing both my mom and stepfather on their 3rd marriage, I have decided not to rush into things. I had a girlfriend tell friends that we were engaged when I never proposed to her. Ironically I broke up with her to join the military and she moved to another state.

    I have talked to one person about getting married though she would probably never remarry. The sanctity of marriage is destroyed for her though I doubt she would be unfaithful to me. I have stated that I would get a wedding band tattooed to my hand since I work with machine parts and electricity a lot.

    So marriage, besides a piece of paper, can help when someone falls ill. Only family can see them, so a spouse would have rights. Filing for taxes as well. Changing the name is usually not as big of a deal.

    I don't believe that the law is fair when it comes to marriage. The laws were passed when women were frowned upon for working. Things like Alimony should be reviewed and either applied to both parties of a marriage or thrown out completely. Also, the woman isn't automatically fit for guardianship just because she's the mother.

    Two of my stepbrothers are having marital problems. One wife wants him to sell his house that he owned prior to marrying her. If he does, she is entitled to half that when she wouldn't have any claim otherwise.

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  • i would never marry. if you love someone, why would you need a legally binding contract with them? if the only reason you are with someone is because decades ago you had a wedding day, that relationship is seriously flawed. I can't see myself changed my mind, so if a girl could not see herself having children out of wedlock, she's not the girl for me.

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  • Marriage is not important to me, love is important though. I would get married only if I met a girl that thought it was important.

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  • It isn't important at all. In fact I find the strange ceremonial ritual we call marriage strange, needless and debilitating. I believe monogamy and faithfulness are of utmost importance, but how a ceremony or a ring improves the odds of a couple staying together and remaining loyal is beyond me.

    I don't need no god, no superstition, no outside influence to encourage me to be moral and the best I can be.

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  • I don't understand the meaning of marriage yet!

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  • I believe in marriage is happiness if you marry to a person that you love..I wanna be father and I want her to be my childrens mother.

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  • That's very important because marriage is blessed.

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  • re:Update - Guys are begining to realize that if you marry the wrong girl, you will get financially assraped for the rest of your life.

    It's legally safer to just not get married at all.

    That's not cowardice. That's common sense.

    If the law ever changed, to make divorce more in favour of the man, and not do things like automatically award her custody of the kids, then maybe men would find it easier to enter into that very one-sided contract called marriage.

    But until then... you can keep it.

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    • True. The judicial system sure is gynocentric.

  • I personally don't think it's important at all. I don't believe in marriage.

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  • Yes. It's one of the basic building blocks of society. It's a sort of constant across most societies out there and it shows fidelity and loving. The whole premise of standing by your lover no matter what may come is appealing to me. I'm also a Christian so that ties in also.

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What Girls Said 8

  • 1. How important is a marriage?

    Depends on the person and society.

    To me it's only important if it prevents crime and violent acts such as people becoming bitter and hate filled and violently hurting others because they don't have a partner. Finding marriage important would likely ensure said people would have a partner or at least interest.

    2. If your boyfriend isn't keen on marriage, will you still want to be with him?

    LMAO XD a bit of a reach to imagine a boyfriend as I don't have that long of an attention span with guys and need multiples to keep me amused.

    I would still want to be with him as to me marriage for a hetero female is a downgrade where you: compromise far more than your partner is willing to

    are obligated to have sex but her orgasm = her responsibility

    do more work than your partner who is most likely to cheat on you

    are most likely to be unhappy like over half of married women

    ^ interesting that it coincides with how over half of divorces are initiated by women

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  • If my boyfriend were not into marriage I would not be with him and I could've never been with him. I made sure he knew before dating me that I only date for the long run and I don't want to just date for "fun" or "experience". I am sort of old fashioned but a marriage is what I want. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we will hopefully get engaged within the next two years *fingers crossed*.

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  • No.. if the guy doesn't want marriage, I will not stay with him. I know that I want my relationship with a guy I love to eventually be a life-time commitment (I'm not just some girl for someone to have a few months or a few years).

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  • hmm, getting married, is exactly on my bucket list, I would be comfortable being in a long term relationship, without marriage in the future, but who knows, maybe I will change.

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  • Yes. I believe a life long relationship can exist without marriage.

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  • dnt have a guy but if I had a boyfriend and he wasn't keen on marriage I don't think id feel comfortable because Id want something more when he doesn't. Id leave hiim if he was serious because id want him 2 be with someone who wants the same as him .

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  • At this point in life its not that important I would be fine just living together

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  • Marriage is a constitution

    I don't understand why people need to marry inorder to be in love

    and yes I ll still be with him

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