Is it normal for a girl to propose? Call me traditional but it sorta happened to me and I didn’t like it.

My ex proposed to me after a year of dating. She did it very casually and just asked if I saw myself marrying her in the future. It caught me off guard and I said that I wasn’t sure but things were going well and if they continued that way, I could see no reason why not. But I have never even thought of marriage as an option for me, so I was a little weirded out by her question. She then went and told her family that I had said yes to marrying her, which I didn’t really. She kinda weaseled her way into a half-assed coerced proposal and then told people we’re engaged. Wtf is that?!

I have always been of the opinion that men should propose. The idea of women proposing kinda freaks me out a little. Am I being overly traditional?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree that the man should definitely propose. In this case it doesn't even sound like she really proposed, just that she was trying to manipulate your relationship into an engagement. I agree with how she started out - at around a year of being together, if marriage hasn't been discussed at all then the couple needs to discuss it and find out if they are on the same page for the future so they aren't wasting their time if they're not. But everything after that is very manipulative.

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What Girls Said 3

  • As a girl I would rather the man propose. Girls are usually ready way before the man is. I think you need to set her straight before she tells everyone you are engaged because you shouldn't be pushed into doing something if you don't find it the right time. Also with the part about her saying her family gave you permission, you should be the one to talk to them not her.

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  • if you never thought of marriage as a option for you then why did you tell her you see no reason why not ?

    just tell her it's not a option for you in the first place.

    I would never propose to a man and I don't consider myself traditional so I could see why it made you feel weird.

    i would just say after you date a girl for awhile most would want to know how you felt about marriage and you should be prepared to be honest about it

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  • maybe it's just a cultural thing. where is she from?

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    • She's mixed. Asian and white. Very nice mix, I might add.

    • Show All
    • how old is she?

    • I ask, because as an Asian myself, I know there's a ton of pressure from family to get married at a young age. I mean in my parents' world, if you're a girl and you're over 25 and not married or engaged, then you're just too old for anyone to want to marry one.

What Guys Said 2

  • The question about girls proposing is no big deal.. Just means her interest in you is through the roof! This is good. You are doing things right if she starts asking about marriage. Most of the time guys are wanting to move too fast in a relationship. But she's throwing up a lot of red flags in my opinion. I'd date her at least another year before even thinking about marriage. Seems to me this girl may have a few issues that need to be straightened out first.

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    • yeah, I thought so too. Watching and waiting might be the best option here.

  • Yeah you are fam, but its ok.

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