Hi m in arranged relationship with a guy since one month. m quite scarred what to talk and how to respond to his questions. kindly give me a good advice and what should I keep in my mind to build up a good healthy relationship
Arranged Marriage-Need Advice?
What Guys Said 1
Before I continue, I'll be saying a lot of "men this" and "woman that", I know it'll sound very generalizing. There are always exceptions on both sides, but I'm talking about the average man, and the average woman.
-Men in general are more straight-forward, while women tend to speak more in an implied way. This difference in communication is in my experience, the most frequent cause of arguments in any kind of relationship between men and women.
For example, when I was younger my mom asked me "Do you know where the vacuum cleaner is?"
I responded with "No, haven't seen it mom." In response she got slightly angry, saying something like "Well come and look with me then."
When she asked the question, she implied she wanted me to help her look. All I heard was the question if I knew where it was, I took it literally.
So it's important to remember that dropping subtle clues to let know what you want doesn't really work. Some women feel that their boyfriend/husband is selfish, that he doesn't think about what she wants, that he doesn't love her enough to care.
It's not that he doesn't want to make her happy, but that he doesn't know what it is exactly that you want. So if you are giving him hints and he doesn't get it, the best thing to do is just ask.
On the other hand, women tend to over-analyze things guys say. In general, if what the guy said can be taken two ways, and one of those two is that he implied something hurtful, he meant the other one.
Silly example is that I was in my town's shopping center with my mom and sis. We passed an ice cream stand, best one in my town. So I said "they make really good ice cream here." My mom responded with "But we're going to eat someplace else." I didn't imply that I wanted ice cream, I just wanted to state they make good ice cream.
-Where women tend to see their community as equals, men look at life in a more hierarchy point of view. Most men, especially around other men, always look for their place, being one step up from another guy or one step down.
Most men want to feel top dog, and they hate situations where they aren't. That's why a lot of men try to fix something themselves before calling a plumber or whatever. Because at that point, the plumber is the authority.
So it's important to not make your husband feel like your bossing him around. Men hate this.
I'm not saying that men have the right to boss their wives around either though.
-Men crave support just as much as women, and we want to feel like your number one hero. We need compliments and appreciation for what we do, just as much as women do.
-The saying goes "the way to a man's heart is through the stomach", and there is a lot of truth to this. We love women who know how to cook, and like providing us with tasty stuff. That said, I don't agree with the whole "women belong in the kitchen stuff", I am willing to cook as well.
-Lastly, for a lot of men sex is an important aspect. Don't do anything you don't want to of course.3
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