What is your view on the vows and 'til death do us part'?

I feel that marriage is overrated in many ways for both sexes. Your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Life is complicated. People change, they make mistakes, they evolve. If at the time you feel it's right and you genuinely intend to adhere to your vows, you're doing as much as anyone can realistically expect of you. I hope to get married, and I hope that my first marriage will be my only one. But if it's not, that's life. I'd rather be happy and make the most of the time I have here than force myself to keep promises that I no longer want to keep.

    People should absolutely think twice before entering a marriage. It's a big deal, and it needs to be handled responsibly. But some people really want the feeling of committing to their partner in an "official" way. They want that special moment and the feeling that they've done something big to commemorate their commitment. There's always the chance that any marriage will fail, but there's also the chance that it won't. And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't always mean you are stupid and irresponsible. It can also mean that what was right for you in the past just isn't right for you anymore. I don't think think people are necessarily at fault when that happens, and I don't think they should be denied something that feels good to them at one point in their life just because things might change.

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    • Agreed! :) I hate hearing those stories of people telling people to marry them just to feel more committed in a relationship...marriage is not just an extended relationship...you have to think about living together...money...possibly kids..and so much more...you can't just split easy as pie when you don't feel like being married anymore...it isn't easy. Like in "He's Just that Into You"...the girl (actress jennifer connelly I think) told her boyfriend that he either marry her or she'd...

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    • I agree. It needs to feel right to both people, and it shouldn't be forced. It must be treated as if you really will adhere to your vows. Otherwise it won't work and there's no point. But if you're smart about it and it still falls apart, then that's just part of life. You make the most of it and find a new path.

    • Exactly! :)

What Guys Said 3

  • It's not something I would take lightly. People don't prepare well for marriage, they marry the wrong person, they focus too much on "sexual compatibility", they don't respect the other person, they're selfish, any one of a number of things. I don't think marriage is overrated. I just feel that people don't take commitment seriously.

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    • Sex isn't everything, but when you're pledging to have sex with only one person for the rest of your life, compatibility does matter. Most issues can be worked out if other aspects of the relationship are strong, but some incompatibilities might really wreck havoc on the relationship. If you value good sex, it's not a total non-issue.

    • BC> Agreed...people don't think it through enough..the whole marriage deal..I see your point. I feel that if you are not willing or can't commit..then just don't get married...so no one gets all hurt about it and so you don't waste someone'e time.

    • samhradh> Yeah..sex is not the most important thing...but it still is a factor. It has to be talked about before marriage comes around I think. Or just make sure that the rest of the relationship is really awesome...or there are other really awesome parts..so that even if there is sex incompatibility..it will not end or damage the relationship. Sex needs to be talked about at some point..so at least both people in the relationship are aware of compatibility more or less...(or have idea of it)

  • I'm inclined to agree ... where else in the law do we see a contract that offers nothing for nothing and no stipuation of something if one party breaks the agreement.

    The only notion of marriage that makes any sense is the declaration that you love each other at the time and place when you wed.

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    • Right? And even that is a sticky thing...because obviously love doesn't always hold a marriage together...sometimes people divorce even if they still love each other. And also..sometimes love falters and dies. tsk tsk.

  • Most people will say the vows but will not adhere to them. Marriage has become pretty useless. Too much crap to wade through to actually find one that is worth marrying.

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    • Yeah...I agree. And also...you can do all the same things in a relationship that happen in marriage (without having to get married).

    • That's true. I think people like getting married because it seems like it is what you're supposed to do. Too many people jump the gun because of that.

      I have to admit that the idea is nice. I like the symbolism behind it, and although I would take it seriously, not every one else will. I don't know. The whole thing is stuck in limbo to me.

    • Same here...like if I find the greatest guy for me...or my soulmate...then I might change my mind and marry...but chances of that happening are kind of rare...and you can even have issues with your soulmate..heh heh. so Idk...at this moment in time (im 19)...I do not want to get married. I love independence. ;P

What Girls Said 3

  • I feel the same but I also still have my moments where I want it. I personally feel like people think of Marriage as just this easy thing to get in and out of, People give up to easy and sabotage them selves buy letting the stigma of "oh Marriage will change us" get into there heads. I say I am fine with never going through with it because I am Happy with my Partner... But I am a girl at heart who would love to be able to have that magic moment.

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    • Yeah...I feel that people should reallly take their time to get to know each other before they get married...and really thinkin about all the pros and cons and really be sure they want marriage. Like I heard of a woman who was dating her husband for 11 years...now obviously not everyone has to wait that long and not everyone can...but it is much easier to get out of a relationship or engagement (and less "butt hurtedness" I'd suppose..heh heh) if it is not working out than it is to get out of..

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    • *profile pic. it is epic. :)

    • Damn that is a long dating life and thank you :)

  • i think you can easily make a vow, without a certificate. I'm not sure what it has to do with marriage, which is about property ownership, not love.

    and, I think people change. you can intend on always being in love & loving, but sh*t happens.

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  • way overrated. If I do in some strange twisted world ever get married, it'll be when I'm like 75.

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    • Right? I feel like it can be real restricting...and what if I get bored! heh heh. And I don't always feel like sharing my bed with someone. And what if they get bored of me. And what if we can't stand each other...and what if I don't want to cook and clean...it's just so much stuff to deal with...and I lvoe doing what I want when I want to do it and I love the feeling of independence (most of the time..hah hah)...and I feel marriage can conflict with that. :P How old are you? I'm 19...

    • *love

      so obviously I have a longggggg time to make the decision of marriage...but I still think about it...:P

    • I'm almost 17, imagining my wedding day is boring and the idea of a wedding sounds like a headache.

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