I was pressured into getting engaged by girlfriend and her family..

I was pressured into getting engaged by girlfriend and her family..

Due to overwhelming pressure I agreed. Now that I have had time to think about it on a clear mind, I see things are unpractical and some compatibility issues. I want to break it off. I just don't know how to do it. The cards have already been printed out for an engagement dinner which is supposed to be held next week. Can anyone help give me advice on this..

Updates:
thanks all

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would make sure you sit down and talk to her as soon as possible. It's not right that someone pressures you into getting engaged. Choosing to get engaged is supposed to happen when the couple is ready, not when someone feels it's been a long enough time now and things need to move along.

    Getting engaged is about love, and if you are already having doubts, get out now! Just because the cards are printed doesn't mean you have to go through with it. Think about it, is the cost of the cards really worth a life time of regret? I don't think so, the big problem here is that you don't want to marry this person and you need to let her know.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's like ripping a band-aid off, dude. You just gotta do it. You can choose your words delicately to lessen the severity of their impact, but the scarey truth is no matter what you say, people are going to end up hurt/disappointed. But know that the negative feelings these people will have WILL BE temporary. They and you will get through it. Getting through this temporary discomfort will be for more bearable than trying to spend the rest of you life in a marriage you don't want to be in. I know the impulse is to go for the immediate gratification which in this case would be to avoid the whole issue. But you need to keep the long run in sight. Turning off at the beginning of a bad path is SOOOOOOO much easier than getting off that path once you've traveled down it a ways. You CAN do this. And everyone will be better off in the end. Just have faith.

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  • tell her NOW don't wait or you will be in bigger sh*t... but don't say ohh you pressured me people can pressure all they want... it depends on you if you crack or not so that cards out the window... tell her to her face what's up and don't make it long and drawn out... let her scream and then move on...

    PS wait do you love her and are just not ready to get married or do you just want nothing to do with her

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  • Simple question: would you rather tell her now, or tell her when you're already signing divorce papers? Just tell her. She will get hurt, but you'll hurt her even more if you go through with it. It would be better if you broke things off in private though. Get her to talk with you privately without either of your families present. That way, you can get things off your chest.

    It's a good idea to evaluate what you feel though. Do you want to break things off with your girlfriend permanently, or are you just not interested in marriage at this point in your life? Make sure to ask yourself these tough questions before you talk with her.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just do it, the sooner, the better. You're old enough to say out loud that you were presssured into it. The truth will set you free.

    If you can tell us strangers this experience, why not your friends and family, who should understand. ?

    Hopefully the grl and her family will see that it's better this way, avoids a messy divorce later. If they don't see it's for the best, don't feel too bad. They WILL seee that in a year or two, don't worry about them.

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    • Best answer?

    • all the answers were helpful and encouraging. I can't really decide who's the best. Give me another day or two

      I've been mind-f***ed of late. Can't even be productive at work. sucks..

    • I can see how this would preoccupy you..

  • be honest! not just to her and her family, but to yourself!

    the sooner the better. don't wait, it will only make it worse...

    try finding a solution with your girlfriend...if she truly loves you, she will help you overcome this challenge. try telling her that you love her with all your heart, but that you don't feel quite ready yet.

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  • So what happened dude? I'm afraid I'll end up where you are soon. My girlfriend is pressuring me to get engaged, but I feel ill when I think about it. I'm not sure if it's her or if it's just commitment that I'm worried about. I don't really want to do it before I'm ready, but she doesn't get it.

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    • do what your heart feels.. and tell her you're not ready if that's the case and you want to prolong dating till you get engaged. I got married btw

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