If you want to get married, would you stay in a relationship if...

If you want to get married, would you stay in a relationship with someone if you didn't see yourself marrying them, barring teenage/high school relationships?

I'm reading a book right now about dating and commitment. The author suggests that people these days get into relationships to fulfill the "needs of the moment" rather than look ahead to marriage.

To an extent, I agree that plenty of people are short-sighted and get into relationships for the wrong reasons (why else would our divorce rate be what it is?), but if you do want to get married, would you really invest as much time and emotion in another person if you weren't seriously thinking about a future with them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've wondered about that too. I had a friend who was dating someone for nearly two years and one day another friend joked about them getting married; my friend was like disgusted and said no way! And I wondered what the heck she was doing in a relationship with him if she wasn't thinking of him as marriage material. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and we have already discussed our future, marriage and kids, and I wouldn't be with him if I didn't see that sort of future with him because I feel I'd be wasting my time. BUT, like my friend, some people maybe just enjoy being in a relationship for the company and because the other person is fun...I don't know, everyone's different.

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    • I agree. I think people who do think like that are wasting their time, but also themselves.

What Girls Said 3

  • I agree. Too many marriages are based on impulsive decisions. People fail to see the downside of it. The cost of divorce is much higher and damages much greater than before.

    Regarding the divorce rate I read recently that it has come down. Because people can't afford to get a divorce.

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    • I've read that too. In 2007, it was at the lowest level since the 1970s, but according to one divorce lawyer they interviewed, it isn't making them fear for their jobs quite yet.

    • Either case it sure makes one wonder what's it all about doesn't it? People fall in love get married have kids stresses add up, reality sinks in. Then they endup cheating or divorcing. The old cliche marriage is an institution is underrated. A lifetime can be a long time doesn't it? Not many persevere

  • I have my goals in life. I want to get married and I want kids, and last but not least I want a man that I love whom I can share my life with.. If I were unlucky enough to get wrapped up in a relationship with a guy that I loved but either he didn't want kids or marriage or I didn't see it with him because; ex; he was bad with kids.. IF I decided to stay with him I would be pretty miserable, and if I decided to leave it would give us both the chance of finding true love with common goals. I'm pretty happy in my relationship now, so that was just an example.

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  • Before I even say yes to being with someone I always thing "would I ever marry this guy". If the answer is "no" then I don't date him. Its just that simple for me. Like that girl below, I also have my goals. Graduating college, kids, a marriage (no divorce). I want someone I can love and be financially stable with to make us work. Someone I can make happy and vice versa.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly I wouldn't...if I don;t see long-term potential...then I wouldn't be in a relationship for very long with that person.

    If I feel during the relationship that I wouldn't marry that person...then I would end things with that person.

    However, I know that a lot of people would disagree with me though.

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    • I agree. I'm just wondering how this guy arrives at this conclusion. Like I said, I think a lot of people are short-sighted, but I don't think most of them are THAT short-sighted.

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