And guys, would you like your wife to change her name to yours?
I plan on hyphenating my last name.
- Yes, I'll have his last name.58% (52)31% (9)52% (61)Vote
- No, I'll keep my own last name.18% (16)3% (1)14% (17)Vote
- I'll hyphenate my name.13% (12)0% (0)10% (12)Vote
- I have no name, I'm a ninja.11% (9)66% (19)24% (28)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
I also plan on hyphenating my name (or not necessarily hyphenating it, but just using both). I'm fine with the idea of taking his name, but I'm not fine with the idea of giving up my own, so using both is the perfect solution for me.
However, for sanity's sake, my kids could use just his last name (and maybe one of my names as a middle name). I don't feel that it's necessary for everyone in a family to have an identical last name. My mom kept her maiden name entirely and it never bothered any of us. It's not like I used her last name to recognize her as my mom, or something.
Taking someone's name isn't the single ultimate display of commitment- if it was, men would have to take their wives names as well. It's just one of many traditions that work better some people than for others, depending on their personal feelings. I think people should have the name that they feel comfortable with. I'm somewhat sentimental and I don't want to lose a name that's been with me for so long, and I don't see why I should have to. So I intend to keep it. Others who don't value their name in quite the same way might prefer to replace it with their spouse's name. It's a very individual thing.
Getting married is about gaining a partnership, not losing yourself or your past. I don't think a man ever has the right to demand that a woman change her name. Requesting that she go by both rather than by her maiden name alone is more reasonable. But it's still her choice, and it shouldn't be the most important sign of commitment. A name is first and foremost your own personal identity.4