When you get married are you going to change your last name to your husband's?

And guys, would you like your wife to change her name to yours?

I plan on hyphenating my last name.

  • Yes, I'll have his last name.
    58% (52)31% (9)52% (61)Vote
  • No, I'll keep my own last name.
    18% (16)3% (1)14% (17)Vote
  • I'll hyphenate my name.
    13% (12)0% (0)10% (12)Vote
  • I have no name, I'm a ninja.
    11% (9)66% (19)24% (28)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|1
36|13

Most Helpful Girl

  • I also plan on hyphenating my name (or not necessarily hyphenating it, but just using both). I'm fine with the idea of taking his name, but I'm not fine with the idea of giving up my own, so using both is the perfect solution for me.

    However, for sanity's sake, my kids could use just his last name (and maybe one of my names as a middle name). I don't feel that it's necessary for everyone in a family to have an identical last name. My mom kept her maiden name entirely and it never bothered any of us. It's not like I used her last name to recognize her as my mom, or something.

    Taking someone's name isn't the single ultimate display of commitment- if it was, men would have to take their wives names as well. It's just one of many traditions that work better some people than for others, depending on their personal feelings. I think people should have the name that they feel comfortable with. I'm somewhat sentimental and I don't want to lose a name that's been with me for so long, and I don't see why I should have to. So I intend to keep it. Others who don't value their name in quite the same way might prefer to replace it with their spouse's name. It's a very individual thing.

    Getting married is about gaining a partnership, not losing yourself or your past. I don't think a man ever has the right to demand that a woman change her name. Requesting that she go by both rather than by her maiden name alone is more reasonable. But it's still her choice, and it shouldn't be the most important sign of commitment. A name is first and foremost your own personal identity.

    4|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 13

  • I actually think it's kind of a weird tradition. I wouldn't want to change mine, so I don't expect her to change hers.

    5|0
    0|0
    • rational thinking. I think most people still do it so they can feel more like a unit and everyone in the household can share the same name, plus its easier to put one name on the mailbox I guess lol. I think it would be cool if both partners hyphenate their names but you can't give that to your kids

    • It is leftover from when women were seen as property; owned first by their father, and then by their husband. It is a tradition that I want nothing of, personally.

      I don't mind the children in question receiving their father's surname, though.

  • In my country it isn't costume anymore for women to take their husband's name. I'm fine either way, but I might feel honored if she took my name.

    3|0
    1|0
  • She kept her name when we married. Kept it when she remarried.

    Woman I almost married and you decided I would take her name, so that was what we planned...didn't work. I am flexible.

    2|0
    1|0
  • when I'm married, it wouldn't really matter to me if she changes her last name or keeps it, if she feels like keeping it, I'd let her, but if not, it's not going to be a big deal to me

    4|0
    0|0
  • My partner did.

    I find it amusing in quebec it was really common a generation ago to give their kids hyphenated names. Now hyphenated name kids are marrying each other, that whole 'plan' has fallen apart. Kind of only works once.

    Actually most of the kids in quebec are solving it by not getting married ...

    2|0
    1|0
  • If she wants to take my name that's great. If not I don't really want a hyphenated name for the kids. So I would propose we flip a coin.

    0|0
    0|0
    • what if she only hyphenates her name and the kids have your name? that's what I plan to do

  • Yeah, she uses my name and doesn't link her family name, because it would become to damn long and no one would be able to pronounce it, they already have trouble pronouncing my name.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I think marriage is for pathetic, mindless people, personally. So the point is moot.

    1|0
    8|2
    • that comment is stupid

    • Show All
    • don't waste your time trying to make him understand anything, he's obviously a lost cause.

    • I chuckle in your general direction, you meat puppet.

  • It's not a big deal to me, but I would like it if she did. It's probably an ego thing. Women want jewelry, men want other signs of affection.

    0|0
    3|0
  • Well of course I was going to pick I'll hyperherniate my name ^^, what does that mean btw? But I'm a ninja so I guess I can't :(

    0|0
    0|0
    • it means you'll add their name onto yours, like Jada Pinkett-Smith

    • Show All
    • true, that's why I wouldn't even bother hyphenating my children's names, only mine, id be fine with them only having their fathers last name.

    • aaaah OK I thought if you hyphenated yoru name then your kids would automatically get a hyphenated name too. If you have to do it manually, yah don't bother ^^

  • If my fiance didn't take my name I would't marry her

    3|1
    11|0
    • really, why is it so important to you?

    • Show All
    • If she doesn't want my last nsme no point in getting married, has nothing to do with domination or low self esteem. I just think if you're going to do something it should be done right.

    • Because you "own" her? Because she is "property"? Because that is where the tradition stems. And that is also why slaves would be given their "owner"'s surname.

      I certainly hope women are wise enough to avoid you.

  • I'm not going to fight about it.

    If she wants it then go for it but at least one of our kids will have my last name

    0|0
    0|0
  • Holey carp. An "I am a ninja" option. This is my kind of poll. :D

    0|0
    1|0

What Girls Said 35

  • Assuming I get married, and not saying for sure that I will, lol... I would hyphenate my name. I like the idea of taking my partner's name, but I also like the idea of retaining my own name because it's part of my identity and culture. I don't cease being myself just because I'm joining with another person and choosing to spend my life with them. And if I end up marrying my current boyfriend, our last names would actually work rather well together, so I'd definitely hyphenate. =] If we had kids though, they'd most likely have his last name.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Idk. I guess I'd have to see when it happens. I really love mi last name if I like his or feel like it's something I want to do then I'd use his or get it hyphenated. guess it depends. some of the serious relationships that came along..when it came to this discussion of names they did not like the idea of mi not taking their name. so that made mi really go against taking their name. lol. it should really be mi choice. lol

    1|0
    0|0
  • My issue with changing it is, back in the day, women were /property/. They would be first under ownership by their father, and then passed to the husband.

    Have you ever noticed in history that slaves would often take the surname of whoever owned them? Because they were "property" to be acquired? Similar scenario.

    I also have a problem with the father "giving away" the bride at a wedding. That just further strengthens the above. I am not one to be given away; I am my own person.

    I doubt I would fully change my name if I marry. There is a chance for a hyphen-- but we shall cross that bridge when it comes. If kids are ever introduced, they would have my husband's lastname, regardless of my personal decision.

    0|0
    0|0
    • yes I hate that tradition at weddings, its so openly sexist, no one gives away the groom. Its like their offering their daughter up to him like cattle.

    • Precisely.

      Another thing is that wedding dresses were a show of virginity and purity... something that was never of focused concern on the groom.

    • yup that's true

  • In normal circumstances I would completely take my husbands name but...

    my father was an only child, and I'm an only child, and I'm a girl, so the family name would end if I changed my name. (there are literally like no relatives of mine that have the same last name). Thus I would really hope to find a guy who would change his last name or something...it's not a huge deal to me but it would be nice to keep my name alive!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't think a person should change their name for someone that doesn't prove their feelings for them, I was born with that name why should I change it.. I will add it to my name on social network sites out of respect other than that its pointless... He wouldn't change his name so why should I... But I would actually take his name if it wasent a tradition just to please men as usual... I would be honored to have his name... Will let you know by then what am I going to do

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm keeping my name. I get that taking his is romantic to some people but eh, I don't really see the point. It's a personal thing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • honestly it depends on what his last name is lol

    1|0
    0|0
  • I plan on changing my name to his:) If I'm marrying him, then I'm in love with him, and I will want everyone to know that he is mine and I am his! :)

    P.S. I am also a ninja

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, I changed it the first time. I changed it back. I'm never changing it again. If I marry again, he can feel free to change his to my last name if he would like to.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Didn't answer- I might take or leave it, but I definitely wouldn't hyphenate. Would depend how ridiculous my name might sound with their surname.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, just out of respect and caring for him... Unless it's something really terrible... I always think of the movie " the wedding planner" and how the girls name almost ends up being Julia goolia...

    0|0
    0|0
    • You mean the wedding singer... hehe

    • lol yea that would be the worst name

    • lol woops I couldn't remember the name of the movie... I was close... well and my mom kept her last name and people always get confused and mess up names or people don't know theyre married

  • I'm not really into the whole idea of marriage but if I did it would depend on my career and my stage of it. I'm hoping to be a child psychologist, and you need name recognition for that so I wouldn't be able to just change my name depending on how long I'd been doing it and my success.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would go for his surname when I marry. In Hispanic-culture, people have two last names. When you marry you are (EX. Lisa Hernandez Lopez de Gomez) "de (his surname) means you are married to him. And to have it shorter than is like it is in USA, Lisa Gomez. So when you have kids you will have (EX. Anna Gomez Hernandez). So, yeah, I would like to have his name, my surname is rare and many confuse it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • having your husband's last name kinda links you two together. I wouldn't have it any other way. I will definitely take my husband's last name when we got married, no matter what it was :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Probably,unless his last name is horrible lol.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Lol I'm a ninja:p

    But seriously,ive been married before and don't want to go down that road again.

    0|0
    0|0
    • did you reclaim your maiden name after the divorce? That probably gets complicated

  • Of course

    0|0
    0|0
  • I took my husband's name.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What means hyphenate your name?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes but only to piss off my father.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yep.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, I would change my last name.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes of course! :D

    <3

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, I would use my husband's last name.

    0|0
    1|0
  • No I'm keeping my last name. I don't care what my husband wants

    0|0
    0|0
  • I haven't decided yet I will most likely take his but I might hyphenate it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm the last in the namesake line because of being a female. My sister changed hers to her husbands but because my family name now relies on me to continue it I don't think I will change it.

    My surname is also a part of who I am and where I came from, my name is my identity, so I hold my surname very dear to me. I would not even hyphenate my name for anyone.

    FACT:

    I was once in a relationship with a guy and his surname was 'Thrush'. I don't think I need to tell anyone that if I had married him I would most definitely NOT be adopting his name lol. He understood!

    1|0
    0|0
  • It would be my name-my last name-his last name

    0|0
    0|0
  • in my culture, I keep my last name, but my children take their fathers last name.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would probably change my name, I had this fear growing up that I would fall in love with a guy who's last name was "Banana" & I'd forever live Amanda Banana. Weird,huh?

    I see marriage as coming together & I do want kids (who would probably have his last name). To support this "unit" concept, I would want my name to match the rest of my family.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    5
Loading...