Am I married or not?!?! Not sure what exactly happened?!?! help?

Okay, so I work in the fields with a lot of Mexicans and I'm white and blond. Well I really like this one guy and well we give each other "that look" and he speaks a little English. Well He kept on asking if I had a boyfriend, can I cook, am I married, and stuff like that. well he starts asking me about my mom and he said he wants to meet her and giver her a big hug.And he said now she is his mom too. and I was like your mom? And another person translated for him. She said you and "------" are one. You ma is "----"s ma? and I said..well why not, why not. and he just was like YES! and then that girl said that me and him are together and married. that me and him are married. I don't know about in another countries but in America we have an actual wedding. but then when I think about it, marriage is actually just a vow you make to one another...and then after that he started to say..i love you and calling me his girl and his baby and stuff like that... so I'm not sure what happened so can y'all help me out please...?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just to give you a bit of context, in Mexico and most of Latin America, girls are considered "women" and marriagable once they turn 15. And while arranged marriages aren't the majority, they are still quite common. Family is strong in Latin America.

    Obviously you aren't legally married as far as the US is concerned (not even close), but I'm sure there are plenty of guys from south of the border who would love to find themselves a young, pretty blond white girl to marry. Of course, you might not be quite as happy when you learn how wives are expected to behave: the husband comes first in Latin America, and the wife obeys.

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    • He said he would cook..lol and I was was playing around saying it's alright I can cook. and he was like hey hey:) but I'm almost 17 and he is 20. and yeah he was asking about my family and all and we were talking about his too. he has a tattoo of his mothers name on his neck. so that tells me he loves his mom. but he has only been in the USA for almost 4 years. I just don't know if I got myself into something I shoudnt have. I mean really like him but...im too young to marry.

    • You DO need to be careful, because he's from a different culture and they have some different boundaries than you're used to, and so a small misunderstanding could result in some bad things (from your point of view) happening that he thinks are totally fine and normal.

    • what kind of different boundaries?

What Guys Said 3

  • You're going to have to clear the air!

    And set things straight with him.

    It is one thing to "shack-up!

    It is another to be called "married!"

    Verbal commitment is nothing!

    It's like in India where a husband all he has to do to get a divorce is say 3 X's!

    "I divorce you!"

    Be real about it!

    If! You do love and want this guy?

    Without being married!

    Then! Declare it!

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  • From a fellow Georgian--well, an Atlantean, really, but still--you're not married. Don't worry about it.

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    • Well I kinda figured that..i mean yeah it's kind of obveous but does that mean that we are going out now or something or ...

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    • yeah, it was kind of emberressing because my older friend told like 10 mexicans in front of me and him that I went to work just to see him and I didn't want to leave work because of him too. and that is so not the case and I told them it's not like that but...w/e that was emberressing. but I al;so speak a little spanish and I stil can't tell weather he is just playing around or if he is serious..

    • Lol, who knows sometimes. I worked in a bar/restaurant, and one worker, this jolly little mexican guy, was always goofing and joking around.

  • Cool story, sis.

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