I just recently married in the Spring in a small ceremony at a B & B and my side of the family did not come. (reason- they feel my husband isn't good enough. They had no problem with his character or how he treats me, but shunned him when he got laid off from his job during our engagement. He has been looking diligently however as the wedding date approached my family flipped and disapproved of our marriage.) They even tried to convince us to not marry and indefinitely postpone. When we said no and I got into a verbal argument with them, they shunned us both and dropped out of the wedding. (My fiance never raised his voice by the way. He kept a level head about him.) Despite all that , one week before the wedding I still invited them to come anyway. They declined. Now it's been months and my family contacted me just the other week to say "hi" and (when I asked why it had been so long) my father said, to "allow me time to cool off" but we got into an argument again because he kept bringing up the past with my husbands employment. They keep meddling about our business. I did tell my family how I felt about them not attending my wedding day and how they need to stick out of my husband and I's business. I feel saddened and depressed, like I only can count on my hubby. I feel like the whole process is drained me emotionally and I'm tired. How do I get past the pain of what they've done? I can forgive, but can't ever forget. I just want the pain to go away. As much as I'm happy with my hubby (he's a great guy), I still feel not myself. I try my best to put a happy face on but it just pains me. Not sure what to do.
Just got married...but depressed...(long)
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Seems to me you're better off without your family getting in between you two. Congrats on the wedding by the way! I am extremely surprised that they didn't manage ruining you and your husbands relationship, as families that act this way often win. Things get very difficult for the engaged couple to cope because family is a huge part of the wedding process. As I said, I feel as though you should see this as a breather, you're family may not approve of him but that should not reflect on how they treat you. They should be your support system and respect that they have now crossed boundaries and if anyone needs time to cool off from the arguments it is you and your husband. You're husband lost his job during a time where jobs are hard to come by and that is unfortunate. Rather than judging him and putting such harsh pressure on him your family should be understanding and helpful/encouraging. I feel like your family has completely over reacted and you need to just take some deep breathes and appreciate the man you have by your side and I'm positive he appreciates you standing by him through all of this as well. It says a lot. Keep yourself busy with some activities that bring you happiness and go about it on your own, have that alone time. When you are feeling a little better try to engage in cheap sweet and fun times with your hubby, you two deserve it. Your family are a bunch of adults, they will be fine without you for the meantime, and you as an adult as well, will be fine without them.3
Time. Unfortunately there's no magic cure for pain. You just have to let it run its course. I'm sorry to hear about your family though, it's too bad they couldn't be more open minded. Maybe as they have more time they'll start to come around too =)1
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