He talks about our future, but I'm scared to be too eager to go along with it....

we have been together about a year and a half. he occasionally brings up the idea of marriage. he has never said it right out,"i want to marry you." but he talks about how he plans on building a house and he points out houses when we are driving around. he'll say things like that looks nice, or ask if I like certain ones. ill kind of joke around with him saying "we aren't married" and when he talks about us I jokingly say I can't marry him, and he always tells me to loose his number then. I do want to marry him. I love him and I actually wish he would propose! I just don't want to psych myself out and go all in thinking we will be together, then get my heart broken if it doesn't work out. he is just getting on his feet from college so I know he can't get a ring. should I keep playing it cool, or should I start letting my true intentions show... again I don't know how to do that without being scared of possibly investing my heart then getting hurt. any feedback is appriciated!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you can think of it in a different way and maybe it will help you decide. If you go all in you can live the relationship and fantasies you want and be happy for as long as the relationship lasts with the risk of it ending and you being hurt. Or you can keep holding off and being sort of awkward with his advances he may think you aren't interested and stop mentioning it or feel taht you aren't as into the relationship as him and when it ends still be hurt because you love him, but less hurt.

    You could always go along and enjoy your house /marriage fantasies with him but keep them being fantasies and don't set your heart on it happening just enjoy the idea of it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Playing it cool for a short while might be OK, but in the long run being honest about your feelings is always best. Being in love means that you automatically make yourself vulnerable.

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  • He's dropping hints, so there's no reason you shouldn't bring up formalizing your relationship. He probably wonders why you haven't taken up his suggestions. He may think you're not interested...so speak up, already!

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  • Wow! Long time and No See! But it is nice to have you with us again!...I do not blame you for not wanting to get your heart broken...that really sucks...but I would play it cool if I were you...when couples start taking each other for granted then it should come as no surprise when break up occurs...even if he proposes..not married until you are married and even then can be annulled...my wif'e's brother's marriage lasted 13 days...and cost his ex-wife's family ten grand...o.O

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    • How in the hell did they only last 13 days? People need to not treat marriage so lightly...

What Girls Said 3

  • Well I feel like if he's hinting at it, it wouldn't hurt to joke back with him. Don't be too overeager and be like YES LETS JUST GET MARRIED AND STEAL THEIR HOUSE lol.. but you can occasionally slip in the joke with him and see how he reacts. Relationships are all about taking risks though! You'll never know unless you try, and it might drive you crazy to be constantly thinking about it and wondering if he's hinting for a reason. Play it cool, but start testing the waters.

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  • I feel like if he's already dropping hints & such, it's okay for you to do the same.

    Be real with him. If he's the one you want to be married to, it should be easy for you two to communicate.

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  • if you can't say you want to get marred but he can, id move on . its a game.

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