Gentlemen: How long into a relationship before you start thinking about the "m" word?

you're in a relationship and have been for some time...how long into a relationship is it before you start thinking about proposals and marriage/spending the rest of your life together?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think it depends on the stage in life you are both at.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Whooooooa whoa whoa, calm down with that M-word. That word could get you killed

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  • For me, I would be dating at least 5 years before talking about marriage. The first year or too, you are still at the not showing the whole you stage. Around 5 you have some history and have gone threw a few things, have had disagreements and seen the best and worst of each other. If you have survived that long, you are going to have realistic expectations of what a marriage involves.

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  • it depends. my cousin married his wife after 3 weeks. they have two kids now and they are happy together. but they are in their early 30's, so a couple who is 18 and 19 may want to wait.

    it also depends on circumstance. with marriage, there are finances involved. if both people have a steady job and want to live together, then it's easier.

    it shouldn't take longer than a couple years. I mean if it's 5 years and it isn't going anywhere, wouldn't that be suspicious. probably 2-3 years is ideal, but maybe one if everything is right.

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  • It has nothing to do with time and everything to do with the woman, our relationship, and my current life circumstances. If she's not the right girl, she could date me forever and never get anywhere...

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    • Why not leave her as soon as you realize she isn't the right one?

    • I do... I was making a point that it has nothing to do with TIME. =)

  • Hard to say. I'll just say 3 years

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    • ouch, that's a long time.

    • I'm just not the type to rush that sort of thing

    • of course. I just think 2 years is good, and then having a long engagement and living together for a while before actually taking vows.

  • A few weeks to a few months, I'd say, before I start thinking about it. And by "thinking about it" I mean in occasional, general terms asked by my subconsious, like "Can you see yourself marrying her one day?" which usually results in an answer of "maybe", and then the question gets tabled for another several months.

    Eventually, that answer becomes "yes" and the question changes to "Don't you think you should ask her to marry you?" with a followup answer of "Probably, but not right now" and the question again gets tabled for another several months.

    And again, eventually, our subconscious asks another followup question. "If not right now, then when, and how"? and we answer "I don't know, will you just shut up already"?

    However, eventually, we stop telling our subconscious to shut up and say "I don't know. Let's figure this thing out" and that's when we start planning our proposal.

    Now, as to how long that process takes? That really depends on the dude. We don't ever actually have some sort of time limit that we set for ourselves. It's more of a "when it feels right" sort of thing.

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  • No less than five years. You can never tell. Girls these days are in such a hurry to get married once they "love" you, but then are twice as quick as a guy to initiate a divorce. You can never be too sure. Sucks for a girl though if she wants to wait that long and then the guy says no, because girls are waiting longer than ever to get married and often end up in their 30's single, wondering what happened after a 5 year relationship died.

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    • yeah. sounds like fun for you boys.

    • I don't think it is easy for either gender, just for different reasons. Girls and their biological clock counting down to doomsday, and guys with the constant threat of divorce, and the extreme pressure their girlfriends put on them to get married. I don't know of a single guy that tried to convince in a strong way to his Girlfriend to get married. Girls put the pressure on guys that often don't want to tie the knot, and later live to regret it.

  • I'm thinking about it, but I've probably been in love with her since before we started dating. It's been close to 7 months now. I haven't brought it up yet and I don't plan to for awhile.

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